Don’t tell me that you don’t love me,
don’t give me a heart that’s not true
Just promise me you’ll say nothing,
that’s all I ask of you
Promise me silence…
if you don’t really care
Promise me silence..
if your heart’s not willing to share
If you can’t tell me you love me,
then don’t say a thing
I’d rather have your silence
if that’s all you can give
Just promise your silence…
if I can’t have your heart.
As I was growing up, I never really got the full grasp of what it was like to rely on family members for support; especially that of the emotional kind.
I was always off on my own, or with my friends, involved in insects, cartoons, action figures, video games, comics or remote control vehicles of the fast kind.
When I wasn’t squeezing every ounce of free time for my personal pleasure, my head was preoccupied with school. So as you can tell, it was either trying to finish that super complex homework, study for zillions of quizzes and tests or what to do first when I had free time; those thoughts took up most of my emotional journeys.
Nothing major happened to the point where I needed to consult my parents or siblings for advice. A lot of my life’s lessons came either from trial and error, mostly HUGE ones, or talking with friends. Life was simple, there were no worries.
If it didn’t involve school or play (or girls) then it completely fell to the wayside. That, however, took a different turn as I got up there in age and started a family of my own.
My focus adjusted and my eyes began to really “see” the value of having family around you. I could have a bad day at work, a traumatic incident, health issues or just feeling down in the dumps, but just knowing that my family was there made the trials all the more bearable.
My wife and my kids provided emotional support in ways that inspired hope in me. Just having someone in my corner, through thick and thin, really made all the difference in overcoming the obstacles that were in my path. Their positive words of encouragement, daily affirmations and big burly hugs made all the difference; they truly became my emotional cheerleaders.
My outlook towards my parents were in a state of flux as well; it changed from seeing them as an authoritative figure to that of sage-like confidants that I can pour my heart out to.
It’s interesting how time really changes you and strange that it took me this long to value the bonds we share with our family. I might have grown up slightly different from others but at least I can say that I finally learned how strong family bonds can be.
Today is your birthday
a time when wishes come true,
a card, a cake, a present, a party
are all awaiting you
These are things you would expect
on this auspicious day,
but my gift to you would be a special one
in each and every way
I’d offer you the beauties of nature,
the sunset, the flowers, the rainbow;
gift-wrapped, sealed and delivered with care
as you deserve them so
So when this day passes
and the days and months go by
Just look out any window
and my gifts will still be there,
as the clouds are in the sky.
I’m not too sure if I’m alone in thinking this way but every single year, just days after we ring in the New Year, I feel re-energized and inspired. Everything and anything unfortunate that occurred the year before is completely erased. I’ve been given a clean slate where anything is possible.
There’s HOPE! I can see it, I can smell it, I can taste it…it’s finally within my grasp.
A sudden rush of invincibility and unbridled optimism fuels my drive to pursue my dreams; this euphoric feeling of boundless positivity and capability is intoxicating. I’m in open space moving at Mach 6 towards my quest in achieving EVERY dream, whether it be big or small.
There’s nothing that I can’t accomplish…there is no fear…no hesitation in thought or action. My focus is razor sharp and crystal clear. The only thought that echoes in my mind like a broken record is “YES! This is THE year! This is gonna be MY year!”
I know that thought is so cliché, but what can I say, I’m an eternal optimist at heart. Feeling this way makes me want to share my words of affirmation and enthusiasm with anyone and everyone around me. That’s a good thing, right?
This wave of emotions will eventually subside as the year progresses, but I’m going to ride it for as long as I can and know wholeheartedly that I gave it my all and then some.
With 2016 winding down, I ,like many others reflect on what took place in our lives and put things into perspective. As I was doing my year end house cleaning, I stumbled upon a picture of my beloved dog “Tigger”several years removed from our lives; attached was a note that I had penned soon after his passing.
I read through it and reflected on how important he was to me and my family and wanted to share how I felt at that time with you.
“Today a part of me died,
you left a void within my heart that can never be replaced
You touched my life in ways that you could never imagine
I sit here trying to think of a word to best describe you
But no words can describe what you truly meant to me
You were my best friend for the past 18 years
and you did everything in your heart for me
You made me laugh and smile
and comforted me when I was scared
You protected me when I was asleep
and kept me company when I was alone
In your little funny ways,
you made me see what life was about
I will miss you with all my heart;
your perky ears, your jovial bark, and your gentle lick
It will be hard to face life without you by my side
Your support and love made me feel invincible
Your gift of love
was the best gift I ever received from you
For that I am most grateful
I’m so lucky and honored that you came into my life
For the rest of my life, I am in debt to you
Tigger…you taught me what love really is,
to give it and to receive it
you will never be forgotten
because you have a special place within my heart forever
Whenever I think of love or share it,
you will come to mind
you will live on in the love I give to others
Thank you Tigger,
thank you for choosing me,
thank you for being there for me
and caring with your heart.”
A piece of my heart
is all I could give
when we were alone
For you belonged to another
you were never mine to own
My love for you
never fully shared
Just a piece of my heart
to show that I cared
If I could’ve opened my heart
I would’ve given you so much
But the key to your love
was never mine to touch
A piece of my wish
is my only gift to you whenever we’re apart
May your love live forever
may happiness be in your heart.
Wake up with a smile
it’ll brighten your day,
the more bigger the smile
the happier you’ll stay
This little phrase
is something I would normally tell
but early one morning
a new thought rang a bell
I woke up one day
with the early morning light
and saw a little bird singing –
it was a most beautiful sight
This bird outside my window
was most happy and carefree,
it whistled and it chirped
as loud as can be
This little bird
gave a new meaning to my life –
“Let happiness rule your day
not your worries, not your strife”
As I continued to watch,
the bird left without a trace
leaving me with a memory
and a message in its place
So I ventured into the day
with a smile and good cheer
reassuring myself
that the bird of happiness is near
I did my best throughout the day
to spread happiness around,
this new trait of the little bird
in me now is found.
The holiday season is well underway and a lot of kids are eagerly counting down the days till Christmas. That age of innocence is clearly apparent and I often reminisce about my own experience. But alas, we all get older and sometimes our focus tends to gravitate toward age appropriate matters.
My kids, who are now young teenagers, reminded me of this. Yes, of course, they still look forward to Christmas but the enthusiasm is not as vibrant as it was when they were in their single digit age.
The main thing that concerns them the most is when does Christmas vacation start and how long it will be. They can’t wait to take a break from all that studying and let loose…or for others, just chill and do nothing. Granted, we all hated going to school and valued those precious times away from academia.
I recalled the time when I was their exact age and fully remembered what I was doing leading up to the start of winter recess. Counting down the days, hours, minutes and seconds; time ironically moves extremely slow when we’re young and somehow speeds up the older we get. Go figure that.
As I was thinking about this, a short poem came to mind that kind of summed up how I felt at my children’s age and I’d like to share it.
Here I am at school today
feeling down and oh so blue
I dream of being hard at play
in the hopes it will come true
Running, skating, playing ball
is what I’d like to do
but here I am thinking – that’s all
just stuck here right at school
To dream, to dream, only to dream
waiting for school to end soon
“My God! My watch! Oh gads I’ll scream!
I can’t believe it’s only noon!!!”
Every time this year, like most people, I always take stock in what I’m grateful for…my family, my friends, my health, my life, so on and so forth. But this year, with the passing of two co-workers and a couple of family members and a health scare, I am truly appreciative for what I have.
Every day leading up to Thanksgiving, I’ve been taking stock in what I have and the people who are around me and have never been more cognizant and content with my place in life. There are just days when I can’t help but stop myself in my tracks and smile.
On days like this I always think “Nothing could be more perfect in my life right now. If I could just somehow stop time and live in this moment forever, I’d be totally ecstatic.” A sense of overwhelming joy consumes me and thank God for giving me this occasion to feel this way.
When I was younger, I often took for granted a lot of things in my life and somehow lost sight of what it really meant to be thankful for what I had around me. It was all about “me” and the mere fact that I had many more years ahead just made me concentrate on what might be instead of what might come to pass.
But if I hadn’t had all those missed opportunities, mistakes and regrets then I wouldn’t come to the self-realization of how lucky I am in life. Like that saying goes, “With age, comes wisdom.” And I learned that I needed to enjoy the here and now, accept where I am in life and recognize the people around me that where steadfast in everything I did.
Because of my newfound outlook on life, I preach to my children everyday on acknowledging what they have, to try and not be cavalier on thinking that you have all the time in the world. Time is a commodity that needs to be relished with respect and without regrets.
Although my friend has long passed, for some reason I was thinking about him today and wished that my children could’ve met him. I wrote a poem about him that best describes what he meant to me.
We were young and so new
when we started work at the store,
learning the business fast
was really a chore
We were clumsy, awkward,
and a little bit naive,
but you put your faith in us
and made us believe
In time we grew smart
with each passing day,
you lent us your wisdom
through the stories you say
In you we saw a role model
with all the qualities of the heart,
you were generous, kind, humorous, helpful
to all of us from the start
Though you left us way too early
your traits in us were sown
Let one message come to mind
and let it be known
We wish you the best in Heaven
in whatever you do,
We give you our love
and will surely miss you
So here is our gift,
so special, so true,
It symbolizes our love
to a friend we found in you.
