All That You Are

Are you the answer to my question?

Could it be you my love?

It makes me crazy wondering

if it’s you that’s my true love?

You give so much of yourself

to remind me that love is near

To search the feeling within my heart

will make it crystal clear

You’re the person, my answer,

my one and only love

You’re a gift sent special to me

straight from heaven above

To find an answer to true love

I needn’t go to far

For your heart reflects true love within and…

All that you are

Your sweet, caring smile

your warm and honest face

the caress of your loving hands

your soft and gentle embrace

You opened up my eyes

and turned my life around

You made me see true beauty,

showed me new joys abound

All because of you-

my dreams are close at hand,

my life is much more clearer,

my love is oh so grand

The warmth and kindness that you gave,

the strength you instilled in me,

your heart and soul is with me now-

with you I’ll always be

I’ve never known anyone

who could do these things to me,

You’ve shown me what love’s all about

you’ve taught the blind to see

The reflection in your eyes show me

that together, our love will go far,

for love reflects true beauty and…

All that you are

You’re a gift that’s truly priceless,

an angel from above

a heart filled with true beauty,

with an endless supply of love

All that you are,

all because of you,

my love has found a special place

my dearest, I love you.

A Writing Dry Spell

Did you ever have those times when you had a dry spell with your writing?  Whether it be for your blog, script, story, essay, correspondence letter or note to a friend, your mind’s well was empty.  No topics are in play, no words come to mind, things just don’t flow freely from pen to paper so to speak.

It’s like you struggle just to get a cohesive sentence together; every brain cell is squeezed to spew out the words needed to bring forth a sentence.  AND the kicker is that it’s really not what you want to convey.  You just put something down for the sake of having something substantial to work from.dry1

All of us as writers hit this dry spell throughout our careers, it’s inevitable and just plain sucks.  During these times I just don’t feel like a writer and I truly feel as if I failed.  Don’t know why, but I just do.

 “Why does this have to happen?!”   

Our minds are capable of doing and creating so much more…so why is it that our minds fail us?  Is it just a way of our brain telling us that it’s going on a short vacation so we can’t write until it gets back?

What do we do in the meantime?  How do we continue on with our craft if our mind isn’t cooperating?  Not writing anything makes me feel empty and having to endure this drought is challenging.  Often during times like these is when I start to worry…has my mind’s well of creativity gone dry?  Will I ever come up with another idea or story ever again? dry9

So many questions with no immediate answers.  My confidence gets put through the ringer and then some.  But luckily for me, I’ve been through this rodeo and I know that I just need to ride out the storm.

My mind eventually regains its composure and my creativity resets itself.  My brain becomes cognizant of all the new ideas and stories and starts to file them in my intellectual storage file; the amount of information is so overwhelming that I’m faced with another dilemma…which story to work on first, too little time to get all this stuff out and words constantly oozing out just begging to be put on page. 

Guess that’s a better situation to be in than a writing dry spell but either way I’ll gladly endure both as long as my passion for writing remains constant.

The Reason

finding-the-one

All my life, I’ve lived so alone

searched and failed each time,

so many hearts drifting alone

not one to call my own

The feeling of love was all but a dream

seen in the eyes of others,

hearts that will share, eyes that show care

as only between two lovers

Since you walked into my life

my faith has grown so strong

my view of love is much clearer now

with you is where I belong

You’re the reason how my life is lived

and this I know is true

There can only be one love for me

cause love was found in you

You taught me things in life

and I have learned to give –

to loneliness I bid sweet adieu

The love that has filled me body and soul

is all because of you

You’re the reason – my heart I give

my love’s now alive and free

For you are my one and only love,

you are the one just for me.

A Spark Of Hope

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Ever have one of those days when things just don’t seem to go your way or situations pop up that test your limits?  We’re all faced with that time and time again; believe me, I’ve had my share ten times over and then some.  There are other that have it even worse. 

 What I’m most curious about is how others cope with their personal struggles.  How do they keep positive in light of all the bad things that are happening to them?  What gives them the drive to face their dilemma head on and never give up?

 When problems arise in my life, my “doom and gloom meter” starts to rise and my mind starts to go into overdrive about all the things I could’ve done to avoid this mess.  My outlook starts to look depressingly hopeless and my daily routines are all out of whack.

 I start to do normal things on auto-pilot all the while racking my brain on how to solve my problems or obstacles so that I can get back on track and live normally again. 

 When this happens, I start to get into a funk and feel like “Why does this always happen to me and when will it all end!  Can’t I just get a break?!”  Just when I see there is no solution to my turbulent mess, “a spark of hope” appears out of nowhere.

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 For me, that can come in the form of my dog greeting me at Mach speed with unconditional love and adoration.  A big bear hug from my wife. It can even come from watching my kids simply do their homework or observing family members go about their daily routine.  It’s amazing how something so small and mundane can make a difference.

 Just the mere sight of them snaps me out of my much misaligned chaotic demeanor.  It’s weird but seeing something like that, just soaking in those positive things gives me hope. Remembering all the good times and feeling so blessed to have a family like mine helps a lot; knowing that I overcame previous predicaments helps in the process.  Maybe subconsciously I know that I have their undying love and support in my corner and I know I’m not facing my predicaments alone.  

 Can’t really explain it; I get a renewed sense of energy and endless possibilities about my life explode in my head…AND it’s all good.  It feels as if nothing in the world can stop me from accomplishing anything and everything! 

It’s funny how something so simple can become a beacon of unbridled optimism.  Life doesn’t appear so bleak and I’m enthusiastically anticipating what’s in store for me in an hour, a day, a week or months from now.  I begin to envision a more desirable and successful future for myself which might or might not happen.  Who cares?!

 My “spark of hope” is all that matters in driving my life forward.  As long as I have that grain of reverie then everything is fine.

 I can’t fathom how this process works but I’m just truly grateful that this “spark of hope” can do wonders for me.  I just pray that this sparkle continues to light all of the dark and hard times that I’ll encounter in my life.

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Forever With You

A twinkling in your eyes I see

in the darkness of the night,

all hurt and pain has left me now

cause I’ve finally seen the light

I don’t know how I’ve gone this far

without really knowing you,

my life has suddenly taken a turn

everything seems so new

In your eyes I see a vision,

in my heart I know it’s true

this feeling that grows from deep within

is all because of you

You’re all that I’m longing for

You’re all my dreams come true

My life would be so complete

If I could spend forever with you

It’s amazing how love really works

it’s astonishing to see,

You, out of all the strangers in the world

that was truly meant for me

Love is purely magical

in each and every way,

If my heart had a mind of its own

this is what it’ll say:

“Do you believe in magic?

I hope you really do,

cause the love that stirs from deep within

is all because of you

No part of me will let you go

You’re all my dreams come true

My life would be so complete

If I could spend forever with you”

I believe in love because

it’s special and so true,

cause it found it’s place within my heart

and I owe it all to you

I’ll always be there, by your side

You’re all my dreams come true

My love will you let me spend –

Forever With You.

Never Giving Up

heartbreak1

I’ve been hurt too many times…

too much to count

I’m scared,

because I’m starting to feel cold inside

To have no feelings for another

is the most scariest thing to experience

That’s why I keep trying so hard

I keep coming back for more punishment,

for more heartbreak

Because to lose that feeling of caring

caring for someone…

means to die inside

Losing all the wonderful qualities

of one’s self –

Lost forever in a world of darkness.

 

How A Filofax Created My “Bucket List”

 As I rummaged through the closet looking for something that I can’t even remember, I stumbled upon my Filofax.  Yes, I did say Filofax. 

 For those born in the 21st century, it’s a small looking folder that contains a calendar, day planner, notepad, plastic sleeves, ruler, pen holder, calculator, etc…  Basically it’s a personal organizer that helps you to manage your time, appointments, meetings and tasks.Bucket9

 It’s really a folder that you write down all the things you need or want to do on a given day and reference it when you can’t recall what it is you were supposed to do. 

 Back in the 90’s it was a real popular thing to have but I resisted the urge to have one because I felt it “dumbed” you down and made you prone to not using your brain to remember things. 

 When I saw the movie “Taking Care of Business” with Jim Belushi and Charles Grodin, my views on the Filofax changed.  I somehow became obsessed with owning a Filofax, even though I had no need for one.  I caved in and bought one to my delight; “I HAD A FILOFAX AND THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERED!”

 Since I was in college, I had nothing on my plate except for my classes; I spent money on this thing so I felt like I had to write something in the Filofax to validate me buying the damn thing.Bucket10

 I jotted down my class times even though I already knew the schedule by heart.  I could not think of a single thing to put in it; one fateful day while in class, as the professor was droning on about God knows what, I wondered what I wanted to accomplish in my life.  Now I know that people make bucket lists all the time, but I started to do this when it wasn’t something popularly spoken. 

 One day I had one goal, the next day another and the next day another.  Soon I ended up with 4 and a half pages of things I wanted to accomplish or “Life Goals” as I called it, since I didn’t really know what a bucket list was at the time.

 My list wasn’t extreme like going skydiving, bungee jumping, swimming with sharks or climbing Mount Everest; my goals centered around my career in being an established writer, getting literary representation, sell my screenplays, finding a soulmate, getting married and buying a house just to name a few.

 It wasn’t exciting or glamorous but they were “MY” goals; they were all attainable only if I was committed to seeing it through.  As the years flew by, that Filofax of mine soon became a fixture in an obscure corner of a book shelf and then somehow ended up in storage within my closet. 

 Don’t ask me how or why that had occurred, but it did.  I guess somewhere along in my life things happened that caused me to forget about what I had wanted to accomplish.

 So cut to the present and back to the start of this post, when I stumbled across this decrepit Filofax I immediately opened it and rifled through the pages to where I scribbled my “Life Goals”.

As I looked through the list I made 20 some odd years ago, I grabbed a pen and started to check off what I had accomplished.  The ones that were accomplished put a smile on my face and satisfaction rippled down my spine. Bucket5

As for the ones that I didn’t do, I paused for a moment to wonder why that was.  Clearly it was something that I can still do.  “What’s stopping me?” is all that I could think of.  I felt that it was still a “Life Goal” that I still want to attain.

 As of this writing, I am trying my best to see things through and accomplish what I set out to do when I was a young man in college.  With a little luck, hard work and dogged determination, I know I’ll check off every single one of my “Life Goals” before I take leave of this Earth.  

Goodbye To A Dear Friend

My Friend…

Today you’ve left a space in my heart

a void that not anyone can make

To do this one has to unselfishly  give of one’s self

You did just that and more

You gave yourself freely,

shown your love openly and unbiased,

gave your ear for someone to bend

and comforted a cold and lonely body

with your warmth and tenderness

Your companionship is unmatched

and your heart is forever captured

right here in my private treasure chest

where your love is kept safe

until it is ready to be freely shared

to the one who’s worthy and unselfish,

the one who will learn as well as accept

the gift of unconditional love

But until that time comes

my heart will not be whole,

for the space that was left

will be a most tremendous task to fill

Because the love that I’ve received

is but one of a kind

that is unique only to you,

…My Friend.

So You Think You Can Dance

Dance7 In an earlier post I had talked about my daughter wanting to learn how to dance…more specifically dance “K-Pop” style.  Well, it’s been three months since I started this quest to help fulfill one of my daughter’s dream and it’s been going quite well.

 We’re not quite where we want to be but I’m proud of the fact of how far we’ve both come along.  I’m not a professional dancer by any means but I think we’re getting the hang of this style of dancing. 

When my daughter wanted to learn how to dance, I originally anticipated her asking me about break dancing or popping.  I was ecstatic and brushing off the cobwebs in a portion of my mind of all the old routines I used to do back in my heyday when I was a B-Boy (I wasn’t the best but I clearly wasn’t the worst).

 Like I said earlier, when she wanted to learn “K-Pop” style, my mind went blank and I had absolutely no idea what that entailed.  “Where do I start?” and “How am I going to pull this off?” were the only things that ran rampant in my mind.

K-Pop dancing has very intricate moves; it’s almost as if you are doing synchronized choreography.  Dancing by yourself is one thing, but doing it at the same time with another and hitting your marks at the same time is DAMN TOUGH!  These kids nowadays have much more rhythm than the kids I grew up with…simply amazing.

The things that helped me to get over this hump was the fact that she wanted to learn a routine from a specific Korean pop song and YouTube.  YouTube is simply the best because you can learn just about EVERYTHING and ANYTHING on that site.  I knew that can find a lot of stuff on YouTube but…WOW!  Where was this when I was growing up?!

 There were tons of tutorials and people doing dance covers that truly enlightened me as to the style that me and my daughter were about to learn.

After endless hours of watching the tutorials and clumsily mimicking the moves, we were inching our way towards our goal.  Man, for someone my age, this quest is daunting.  Not dancing since my high school and college days also added to the challenge.

 Doing something like this with my daughter, however, is priceless.  I was glad that my daughter took an interest in dancing, something that I LOVED to do when I was her age. 

 We got a lot of work ahead of us to complete our goal.  And…“How long will that take?” Your guess is as good as mine but I take solace in the fact that we’ll get there.  AND when we get there, I know we’ll get that sense of satisfaction and accomplishment that we were striving for.  Hopefully it’ll be soon so that I can upload the video to my blog to show you the results and make you see that we can REALLY DANCE!

Finding Love

Love1

When I sit home all alone at night

and dream of what might be,

of finding that special someone to love

someone who’ll care for me

I look into the eyes of strangers that I meet

hoping to find my true love,

but what I really long to see

is an angel sent from heaven above

To find an angel here on earth

is a most difficult task to do,

but if the heart is pure as gold

a path’ll be shown straight and true

To follow this path is long and hard

more often vague than clear,

but if a feeling grows within one’s self

it proves that love is near

When one encounters this special feeling

they never take it at a glance,

for love is a difficult game to succeed at

it’s often left up to chance.