Don’t tell me that you don’t love me,
don’t give me a heart that’s not true
Just promise me you’ll say nothing,
that’s all I ask of you
Promise me silence…
if you don’t really care
Promise me silence..
if your heart’s not willing to share
If you can’t tell me you love me,
then don’t say a thing
I’d rather have your silence
if that’s all you can give
Just promise your silence…
if I can’t have your heart.
As I was growing up, I never really got the full grasp of what it was like to rely on family members for support; especially that of the emotional kind.
I was always off on my own, or with my friends, involved in insects, cartoons, action figures, video games, comics or remote control vehicles of the fast kind.
When I wasn’t squeezing every ounce of free time for my personal pleasure, my head was preoccupied with school. So as you can tell, it was either trying to finish that super complex homework, study for zillions of quizzes and tests or what to do first when I had free time; those thoughts took up most of my emotional journeys.
Nothing major happened to the point where I needed to consult my parents or siblings for advice. A lot of my life’s lessons came either from trial and error, mostly HUGE ones, or talking with friends. Life was simple, there were no worries.
If it didn’t involve school or play (or girls) then it completely fell to the wayside. That, however, took a different turn as I got up there in age and started a family of my own.
My focus adjusted and my eyes began to really “see” the value of having family around you. I could have a bad day at work, a traumatic incident, health issues or just feeling down in the dumps, but just knowing that my family was there made the trials all the more bearable.
My wife and my kids provided emotional support in ways that inspired hope in me. Just having someone in my corner, through thick and thin, really made all the difference in overcoming the obstacles that were in my path. Their positive words of encouragement, daily affirmations and big burly hugs made all the difference; they truly became my emotional cheerleaders.
My outlook towards my parents were in a state of flux as well; it changed from seeing them as an authoritative figure to that of sage-like confidants that I can pour my heart out to.
It’s interesting how time really changes you and strange that it took me this long to value the bonds we share with our family. I might have grown up slightly different from others but at least I can say that I finally learned how strong family bonds can be.
A piece of my heart
is all I could give
when we were alone
For you belonged to another
you were never mine to own
My love for you
never fully shared
Just a piece of my heart
to show that I cared
If I could’ve opened my heart
I would’ve given you so much
But the key to your love
was never mine to touch
A piece of my wish
is my only gift to you whenever we’re apart
May your love live forever
may happiness be in your heart.
Wake up with a smile
it’ll brighten your day,
the more bigger the smile
the happier you’ll stay
This little phrase
is something I would normally tell
but early one morning
a new thought rang a bell
I woke up one day
with the early morning light
and saw a little bird singing –
it was a most beautiful sight
This bird outside my window
was most happy and carefree,
it whistled and it chirped
as loud as can be
This little bird
gave a new meaning to my life –
“Let happiness rule your day
not your worries, not your strife”
As I continued to watch,
the bird left without a trace
leaving me with a memory
and a message in its place
So I ventured into the day
with a smile and good cheer
reassuring myself
that the bird of happiness is near
I did my best throughout the day
to spread happiness around,
this new trait of the little bird
in me now is found.
Some write songs
of love old and new,
others write books
of love so grand and true
But songs and books cannot describe
the real true meaning of love,
a love that comes from inside
From within the heart
a certain feeling grows,
it cannot be hid
for through your action it shows
It’s seen in the eyes
of both the young and old
It’s shown through their smile
that’s pure and gold
If everyone had one wish
they’d probably say,
“Love stay with me forever,
never go away.”
Are you the answer to my question?
Could it be you my love?
It makes me crazy wondering
if it’s you that’s my true love?
You give so much of yourself
to remind me that love is near
To search the feeling within my heart
will make it crystal clear
You’re the person, my answer,
my one and only love
You’re a gift sent special to me
straight from heaven above
To find an answer to true love
I needn’t go to far
For your heart reflects true love within and…
All that you are
Your sweet, caring smile
your warm and honest face
the caress of your loving hands
your soft and gentle embrace
You opened up my eyes
and turned my life around
You made me see true beauty,
showed me new joys abound
All because of you-
my dreams are close at hand,
my life is much more clearer,
my love is oh so grand
The warmth and kindness that you gave,
the strength you instilled in me,
your heart and soul is with me now-
with you I’ll always be
I’ve never known anyone
who could do these things to me,
You’ve shown me what love’s all about
you’ve taught the blind to see
The reflection in your eyes show me
that together, our love will go far,
for love reflects true beauty and…
All that you are
You’re a gift that’s truly priceless,
an angel from above
a heart filled with true beauty,
with an endless supply of love
All that you are,
all because of you,
my love has found a special place
my dearest, I love you.
All my life, I’ve lived so alone
searched and failed each time,
so many hearts drifting alone
not one to call my own
The feeling of love was all but a dream
seen in the eyes of others,
hearts that will share, eyes that show care
as only between two lovers
Since you walked into my life
my faith has grown so strong
my view of love is much clearer now
with you is where I belong
You’re the reason how my life is lived
and this I know is true
There can only be one love for me
cause love was found in you
You taught me things in life
and I have learned to give –
to loneliness I bid sweet adieu
The love that has filled me body and soul
is all because of you
You’re the reason – my heart I give
my love’s now alive and free
For you are my one and only love,
you are the one just for me.
Ever have one of those days when things just don’t seem to go your way or situations pop up that test your limits? We’re all faced with that time and time again; believe me, I’ve had my share ten times over and then some. There are other that have it even worse.
What I’m most curious about is how others cope with their personal struggles. How do they keep positive in light of all the bad things that are happening to them? What gives them the drive to face their dilemma head on and never give up?
When problems arise in my life, my “doom and gloom meter” starts to rise and my mind starts to go into overdrive about all the things I could’ve done to avoid this mess. My outlook starts to look depressingly hopeless and my daily routines are all out of whack.
I start to do normal things on auto-pilot all the while racking my brain on how to solve my problems or obstacles so that I can get back on track and live normally again.
When this happens, I start to get into a funk and feel like “Why does this always happen to me and when will it all end! Can’t I just get a break?!” Just when I see there is no solution to my turbulent mess, “a spark of hope” appears out of nowhere.
For me, that can come in the form of my dog greeting me at Mach speed with unconditional love and adoration. A big bear hug from my wife. It can even come from watching my kids simply do their homework or observing family members go about their daily routine. It’s amazing how something so small and mundane can make a difference.
Just the mere sight of them snaps me out of my much misaligned chaotic demeanor. It’s weird but seeing something like that, just soaking in those positive things gives me hope. Remembering all the good times and feeling so blessed to have a family like mine helps a lot; knowing that I overcame previous predicaments helps in the process. Maybe subconsciously I know that I have their undying love and support in my corner and I know I’m not facing my predicaments alone.
Can’t really explain it; I get a renewed sense of energy and endless possibilities about my life explode in my head…AND it’s all good. It feels as if nothing in the world can stop me from accomplishing anything and everything!
It’s funny how something so simple can become a beacon of unbridled optimism. Life doesn’t appear so bleak and I’m enthusiastically anticipating what’s in store for me in an hour, a day, a week or months from now. I begin to envision a more desirable and successful future for myself which might or might not happen. Who cares?!
My “spark of hope” is all that matters in driving my life forward. As long as I have that grain of reverie then everything is fine.
I can’t fathom how this process works but I’m just truly grateful that this “spark of hope” can do wonders for me. I just pray that this sparkle continues to light all of the dark and hard times that I’ll encounter in my life.
A twinkling in your eyes I see
in the darkness of the night,
all hurt and pain has left me now
cause I’ve finally seen the light
I don’t know how I’ve gone this far
without really knowing you,
my life has suddenly taken a turn
everything seems so new
In your eyes I see a vision,
in my heart I know it’s true
this feeling that grows from deep within
is all because of you
You’re all that I’m longing for
You’re all my dreams come true
My life would be so complete
If I could spend forever with you
It’s amazing how love really works
it’s astonishing to see,
You, out of all the strangers in the world
that was truly meant for me
Love is purely magical
in each and every way,
If my heart had a mind of its own
this is what it’ll say:
“Do you believe in magic?
I hope you really do,
cause the love that stirs from deep within
is all because of you
No part of me will let you go
You’re all my dreams come true
My life would be so complete
If I could spend forever with you”
I believe in love because
it’s special and so true,
cause it found it’s place within my heart
and I owe it all to you
I’ll always be there, by your side
You’re all my dreams come true
My love will you let me spend –
Forever With You.
I’ve been hurt too many times…
too much to count
I’m scared,
because I’m starting to feel cold inside
To have no feelings for another
is the most scariest thing to experience
That’s why I keep trying so hard
I keep coming back for more punishment,
for more heartbreak
Because to lose that feeling of caring
caring for someone…
means to die inside
Losing all the wonderful qualities
of one’s self –
Lost forever in a world of darkness.
Midlife, Maniacal & Me 