Family

That’s What Friends Are For.

/ markmkane / Leave a comment

Friend2

We all have friends in our lives. Some may have an army of them while others a few. Contrary to most social media apps like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat and others of the ilk where quantity determines popularity and self-value, true friendship is based on quality.

 A friend is someone who is with you through the good times and the bad. They’re there to lift your spirits up and to support you in times of crisis.

Friend1

 We have childhood friends, work friends, family friends, fair weather friends and even befriended friends of friends.  “WOW!” that’s the most that I’ve used the word friends in one complete sentence.

There are some, the “lucky ones”, that are most fortunate to have a life-long friend or friends that have been with you in all stages of your life and you in theirs. You guys, the “lucky ones”, really hit the lottery.

There’s no question that family members can be our friends; but that’s a different type of bond that goes well beyond conventional friendship.

 For the rest of us, we’ve had friends that came in and out of our lives at various points in our life.  Some we lost touch with, some that fell apart, some that passed away, some that abandoned us, some that promised to keep in contact but never do and some that just quietly drifted away.

 Despite what type of friends we have, I feel that the ones that came into our lives at any given point in time was there for a reason.  They were there to serve a purpose, and when it was fulfilled, they moved on so that we could do the same.

 There’s nothing wrong with that.  Sometimes we weren’t meant to be life-long friends with certain people; that’s okay.  In that given time span of when we started that friendship till the time it ended should be cherished whether it be good or bad.

The fact that we shared a friendship with someone is an amazing feat in itself.  We displayed an ability to give of ourselves to another to the point where they liked us enough to do the same.  If we continue to do that throughout the rest of our lives, there will be no shortage of friends.

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 We all desire friends because life’s too short to go it alone.  We need that special someone to accompany us in our life’s journey because it’s just way more fun.  Having twice the laughs, twice the craziness, twice the smiles and twice the hugs is the best reward a friend could provide.

Friend4

Babysitting

/ markmkane / Leave a comment

Babysitting is difficult and often considered a chore

To those that see this as a task will often hate it more

Watching over children is quite difficult to do,

when their screaming and yelling are all taunting you

Your patience is tried, your nerves are all bent,

you wonder and wonder where your intelligence went

“Why me?!  Why me?!” is what you will think,

The message is clear, damn you need a drink

Before that sip is taken, think back and reminisce

of those great childhood days that you so often miss

To be a child and see the fun things in life

is better than coping with the stress and the strife

Being happy, carefree, while being young and so small

is the greatest feeling to have most of all

It’s no different now than it was back before

Only thing is you understand it even more

You’ve now realized what your parents went through

You’ve known all along it would happen to you

Take heed my child for you’ve surely grown

Let this come to mind and let it be known

Your help was required because you understand and care

Your sympathy and kindness to the children should you share

So remember this poem for one day you’ll see

You’ll go through this again when you start your family.

 

 



 

			

	


			
				


	

							
Fear is the mind-killer.
						

			 / markmkane						 / 3 Comments
								

			


		

		
A quote that I often harken back to frequently in my life comes from Frank Herbert, writer of Dune.  In it there’s a quote:


“I must not fear.  Fear is the mind-killer.  Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.  I will face my fear.  I will permit it to pass over me and through me.  And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.  Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.  Only I will remain.”


The only part of the quote that is deeply embedded within my consciousness is “Fear is the mind-killer.”


That phrase always seem to pop into my head when it comes to the sudden interruptions that happen within my mundane life.  Things that I can’t control or the unknown puts me in a dazed and confused state; all rational thoughts become obscure within my psyche.


People around my usually give that same old advice, “Don’t worry about what you can’t control.”  “It’ll be okay if you just don’t think about it.”  “Everything’s gonna be fine.”


Now there are some people, the “lucky ones”,  that can glaze over these little bumps and carry on with their life, but I for one am not one of these chosen few.


Every time a “worst case scenario” presents itself, I lose all sense of myself.  Anxiety sets in and soon after fear creeps in and overtakes all of my waking thoughts.  My eternal optimistic nature just ups and leaves me fending for my life and its worth.


I tend to overthink things; I start to run every possible, and horrific, scenario in my head on how this situation, accident or illness will end.  I know that it’s not good to think like this and it certainly is not good for my health but I’m just a worrier at heart.


I just can’t seem to see the bright side of things and that’s getting me frustrated.  Only seeing the negative outcomes rather than the positive is truly destructive in nature.


To quote William Faulkner, “Fear is the most damnable, damaging thing to human personality in the whole world.”


I really believe in that but I’ve come to a point in my life where I’m just fed up feeling like this.  I know that I’m better than this and it really is true “Life is too short.”


Every time a hiccup presents itself in my life, no matter how bad, I stop to reflect how far I’ve come in life and take comfort in knowing that there are others in the world that are going through the same thing but in different degrees.  Sometimes we encounter a second, a third or even a fourth situation on top of what we’re originally dealing with.


I take stock in my family and friends and a sense of gratitude sets in.  Their smiling faces and unwavering support helped me get through the “rough times”.  It was a battle that was hard fought but I survived.  In all those instances I thought it was the worst thing ever to happen in my life, but I somehow managed to come out alright.


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Being positive in light of all the craziness that’s happening around us is a fight in itself but the results will only help to benefit our well-being.


Yes, there will be some rough patches in life where it gets solved quickly and stress free; I will treasure those the most.  And I know that there will be arduous times when the struggle will be an ongoing one with no relief in sight, but I’m training myself to see that glimmer of light at the end of that long tunnel.


No matter how dire the situation is, we really need to rely on our family and friends.  We need to get into that mindset where we should not go through this “rough patch” alone.  That is why I’m trying to adopt a new quote, “Remember the 3 P’s” to combat that “Fear is the mind-killer” lodged within my mind.


positive1


 Staying Patient, Positive and Persisting on will help me get through any and all future obstacles life throws at me.  I will tackle it head on and be victorious!



			

	


			
				


	

							
3 Feet 2, nothing I can do.
						

			 / markmkane						 / Leave a comment
								

			


		

		
The Foster family is a very, very tall family. Dad Foster is 6 feet tall. Mom Foster is 5 feet 11. Together they had five children, three boys and a girl. The oldest child Billy is 6 feet 4. The second oldest child Chad is 6 feet 2. The third oldest child Beth is 5 feet 11. The fourth child Anna is 5 feet 10. And finally the youngest child is Ricky who was only 3 feet 2.


“3 feet 2, I’m so short there’s nothing I can do” Ricky always said with a disappointed face.


Everyday Ricky would measure his growth in the doorway, and everyday it was the same…3 feet 2. He longed for the day to be tall like his brothers and sisters. Because he was the shortest, Ricky always felt like there was nothing he could do by himself.


When Ricky wanted to read his favorite books from the tall bookshelf, he had to ask Anna to get the books for him. When Ricky wanted to drink a cup of juice, Beth always had to get a cup for him from the high cupboard. When Ricky wanted to play with his prized toy cars, he always asked Chad to bring it down for him from the top shelf of his closet. When Ricky wanted to hang his model planes from the ceiling of his room, Billy hand to string it up for him.


“3 feet 2, I’m so short there’s nothing I can do” sadly said Ricky.


Ricky decided to do something. He got four big soup cans and taped two to the sole of his right shoe and two to the left sole. He stood up and already he felt tall. Ricky tried to walk but the weight of the soup cans were too heavy. He could only move about an inch from where he stood. This was not going to work.


“I got a better idea!” exclaimed Ricky.


He took off his shoes and made a dash for his room. He brought a chair into his closet and stood on top. He parted his clothes and hung onto the clothes bar. He held on for as long as he could and then let go.


“There, that should’ve made me taller” said Ricky.


Ricky decided to make an attempt to get something that was out of his reach. He went to get some ice cream from the freezer’s top shelf. Ricky strained to reach the ice cream, just then his mom and dad appeared and plucked it off the shelf for him.


Ricky felt disappointed.


He asked his parents, “When am I going to grow and be tall like the rest of the family?”


“Why do you want to know?” said his mom.


“Because I’m only 3 feet 2. I’m so short there’s nothing I can do” replied Ricky.


“Nonsense” replied his dad.


“But it’s true. When I feel like reading my favorite book, Beth has to get it down for me. When I need a cup for some juice, Anna gets me a cup. When I want to play with my cars, Chad has to bring them down from my closet shelf. And when I change my model planes hanging on the ceiling, Billy has to do it for me.” said Ricky.


His mom looked at him and said, “You know, your dad and I as well as Billy, Chad, Beth, and Anna were all short when we were young. As we got older, we grew taller.”


His dad added, “You’ll catch up to us soon. Who knows, you might even grow up to be the tallest one in the family.”


Ricky cracked a little smile but was still disappointed that he was 3 feet 2.


One day Ricky was outside with two of his best friends, Dexter and Sam. Ricky laid on the ground and said, “Dexter, grab my hands and Sam, you grab both my feet. On the count of three, pull as hard as you can.” Dexter and Sam felt a little weird but did what Ricky asked. “One…two…THREE!” shouted Ricky. Dexter and Sam pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and pulled, until they were too tired to pull. Ricky leaped up and stood there smiling as if he were 10 feet tall.


He looked at his friends, “So do I look any taller?”


Dexter and Sam looked at him from heat to toe and both said, “No.”


Feeling defeat, Ricky decided to go inside. On his way in, he noticed the whole family huddled in a circle. Out of curiosity, he went to see what was going on. “What happened?” asked Ricky.


“I was going to do some yard work, so I took off my wedding ring to put it in my pocket. It slipped out of my hands, dropped to the ground and rolled beneath that small crevice in the corner.  I couldn’t reach it” said his mom.


“Maybe I can crawl inside to get it” said his dad. His dad tried but was too big to fit in the small space. Billy tried but was too big as well. Chad tried, and then Beth, and then Anna. Everyone was too big and tall to fit in that tiny space.


“Let me try” said Ricky.


Since he was only 3 feet 2, Ricky easily crawled into the small space and retrieved his mom’s ring. When he came out, his family cheered and congratulated him on a job well done. His mom hugged him and said, “You see, sometimes being short is not so bad. You can do things that tall people can’t do.” Ricky smiled with joy.


Later that night the whole family celebrated Ricky’s accomplishment over a hearty meal. The next day when Ricky went to measure himself in the doorway, he noticed that he was an inch taller. He was extremely happy that he grew. It wasn’t alot but that was alright by him. Ricky grinned and proudly said, “3 feet 3, I’m still short but that’s fine by me. I can do things that tall people can’t do.”


Mark Kaneshige