Author: markmkane

A Beard, A Mustache or A Goatee

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Seven year old Sam would sit in front of a mirror all day and stare at his face.

“What should I have, a beard, a mustache, or a goatee?” wondered Sam.

The reason he asked himself that question was because he had three uncles who he thought were interesting.

His first uncle, Uncle James, had a white beard, not as long as Santa’s, but just as noticeable. Uncle James had a tendency to stroke his beard. His second uncle, Uncle Bill, had a nice black mustache that curled at the ends. Uncle Bill had a tendency to twirl his mustache whenever he could. And his third uncle, Uncle Matt, had a brown goatee that hung from his chin and flapped everytime the wind blew. Uncle Matt would rub his goatee with his fingers from top to bottom.

“Maybe I should have a white beard like Uncle James, yeah that’s what I should have” said Sam.

He looked high and low all over his house to make a white beard. Sam found the answer in his refrigerator…a can of whipped cream. Sam squirted out a handful of whipped cream and rubbed it on his face. He shaped it like Uncle James’ beard and went to see himself in the mirror.

“Just like Uncle James” said Sam. With that, he stroked his beard and proudly walked around the house.

“What are you doing? What is that on your face!?” asked his mother.

“I put whipped cream on my face to make a beard like Uncle James” answered Sam.

“You eat whipped cream, not put it on your face. Wash your face” said his mother.

Feeling disappointed, Sam went to wash his face. Sam sat back in front of the mirror and stared at his face again.

“Maybe I should have a black mustache like Uncle Bill” said Sam. And with that he found a black pen and scribbled a dark mustache on his face.

He looked at his mustache, “This is much better than the whipped cream.” Sam pretended to twirl his mustache and proudly walked out of his room. He headed out the door when… “Sam, what did you do to your face?” shouted his mother.

“I used a pen and made myself a mustache like Uncle Bill” replied Sam, “isn’t it neat?”

“Young man, you use a pen to write things with, not draw on your face. You go wash your face right now” shouted his mother.

“But mom, I want a mustache” replied Sam.

“You need to have hair to have a mustache, now go wash your face” exclaimed his mother.

Feeling disappointed again, Sam went to wash his face. Sam sat back in front of the mirror again and stared real hard at his face.

“Maybe I should have a brown goatee like Uncle Matt” said Sam, “but this time I should use some hair.” Sam thought about cutting some of his to make his goatee but it wasn’t brown. He thought real hard and finally thought of an answer…his dog Oscar was brown.

“That’s it!” shouted an eager Sam, “That’s what I’ll use, Oscar’s fur.”

With a scissor in hand, Sam found Oscar. Oscar had a nice and silky brown fur that was soft to the touch. Sam grinned with delight and cut a handful of Oscar’s fur. He placed the brown fur on some sticky tape and fashioned it into a goatee. He then put the sticky tape on his chin and rubbed his goatee from top to bottom.

Sam looked at himself in the mirror and cracked a big smile when all of a sudden… “Sam get over here right now!” screamed his mother.

Sam dashed out of his room and went to his mother. His mother was sitting next to Oscar, who had a big bald spot in the middle of his back. She did not look happy.

“Young man, did you do this to Oscar? And now what is that on your face?” said his mother.

“I used Oscar’s hair to make a goatee like Uncle Matt” said Sam.

“Sam, to have a beard, mustache, or goatee, you need to grow hair” said his mother.

“So when am I going to grow some hair?” asked Sam.

“Not for awhile I’m afraid, but in the meantime I stopped by the costume shoppe and picked up these things for you” said his mother.

She presented Sam with a white clip-on beard, a black press-on mustache, and a brown press-on goatee. “Gee thanks mom!” said a delightful Sam.  And with that, he scooped them up and ran to his room.

Sam laid down the white beard, the black mustache, and the brown goatee.

He looked at the mirror and stared at himself. “What should I have…a beard, a mustache, or a goatee?” wondered Sam.

Mark Kaneshige

My dad is…

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One bright day, at a very busy playground, there were three young boys playing in a sandbox.

Michael, Timmy, and Alan were playing with their action figures when suddenly one of the boys stood up. Alan looked at his astronaut action figure and then turned to Michael and Timmy. Alan said proudly, “My dad is the best dad in the whole world. He’s an astronaut and he gets to fly a rocket ship and work in space. He’s up there right now doing cool things in space.”

As soon as Alan finished talking, a fire engine truck drove by with sirens wailing and lights flashing. Timmy stood up with great pride and said, “That’s nothing, my dad is the greatest dad in the whole world. He’s a very busy fireman. He puts out a lot of fires and rescues people all the time. I’ll bet he was on that truck.”

After hearing Alan and Timmy talk about their dads, Michael said, “Wow, your dads are really neat. I wish I could have one of your dads.”

Alan and Timmy were curious and asked Michael, “So what does your dad do?”

Michael lowered his head in shame and replied, “Oh nothing special, he doesn’t do cool stuff like work in space or put out fires. My dad is a businessman who works in an office. Everyday after work, he comes home and plays ball with me or challenges me in a video game. Once in awhile when he’s not too tired, we’ll go rollerblading or to a movie.”

Alan and Timmy looked at each other and then looked at Michael. Alan said, “Wow you’re lucky.” Timmy agreed, “Yeah, you are lucky to have a dad like that.”  Michael was a bit puzzled at what Alan and Timmy said.

Michael responded, “Why am I lucky?”

Timmy said, “My dad is so busy being a fireman that after work, he’s too tired to do anything with me. All he does is sleep.”

Alan said, “My dad works in space so I hardly ever see him. I wish I could do stuff with my dad like you do.”

Timmy agreed, “Yeah, I wish my dad would do cool stuff with me like your dad does with you.”

After hearing this, Michael raised his head in pride and stood up. He said very proudly, “My dad is the best dad in the world. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t do neat things in space or put out fires, he’s the greatest because he’s there to do things with me. I wouldn’t trade him for anything in the world!”

Mark Kaneshige

3 Feet 2, nothing I can do.

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The Foster family is a very, very tall family. Dad Foster is 6 feet tall. Mom Foster is 5 feet 11. Together they had five children, three boys and a girl. The oldest child Billy is 6 feet 4. The second oldest child Chad is 6 feet 2. The third oldest child Beth is 5 feet 11. The fourth child Anna is 5 feet 10. And finally the youngest child is Ricky who was only 3 feet 2.

“3 feet 2, I’m so short there’s nothing I can do” Ricky always said with a disappointed face.

Everyday Ricky would measure his growth in the doorway, and everyday it was the same…3 feet 2. He longed for the day to be tall like his brothers and sisters. Because he was the shortest, Ricky always felt like there was nothing he could do by himself.

When Ricky wanted to read his favorite books from the tall bookshelf, he had to ask Anna to get the books for him. When Ricky wanted to drink a cup of juice, Beth always had to get a cup for him from the high cupboard. When Ricky wanted to play with his prized toy cars, he always asked Chad to bring it down for him from the top shelf of his closet. When Ricky wanted to hang his model planes from the ceiling of his room, Billy hand to string it up for him.

“3 feet 2, I’m so short there’s nothing I can do” sadly said Ricky.

Ricky decided to do something. He got four big soup cans and taped two to the sole of his right shoe and two to the left sole. He stood up and already he felt tall. Ricky tried to walk but the weight of the soup cans were too heavy. He could only move about an inch from where he stood. This was not going to work.

“I got a better idea!” exclaimed Ricky.

He took off his shoes and made a dash for his room. He brought a chair into his closet and stood on top. He parted his clothes and hung onto the clothes bar. He held on for as long as he could and then let go.

“There, that should’ve made me taller” said Ricky.

Ricky decided to make an attempt to get something that was out of his reach. He went to get some ice cream from the freezer’s top shelf. Ricky strained to reach the ice cream, just then his mom and dad appeared and plucked it off the shelf for him.

Ricky felt disappointed.

He asked his parents, “When am I going to grow and be tall like the rest of the family?”

“Why do you want to know?” said his mom.

“Because I’m only 3 feet 2. I’m so short there’s nothing I can do” replied Ricky.

“Nonsense” replied his dad.

“But it’s true. When I feel like reading my favorite book, Beth has to get it down for me. When I need a cup for some juice, Anna gets me a cup. When I want to play with my cars, Chad has to bring them down from my closet shelf. And when I change my model planes hanging on the ceiling, Billy has to do it for me.” said Ricky.

His mom looked at him and said, “You know, your dad and I as well as Billy, Chad, Beth, and Anna were all short when we were young. As we got older, we grew taller.”

His dad added, “You’ll catch up to us soon. Who knows, you might even grow up to be the tallest one in the family.”

Ricky cracked a little smile but was still disappointed that he was 3 feet 2.

One day Ricky was outside with two of his best friends, Dexter and Sam. Ricky laid on the ground and said, “Dexter, grab my hands and Sam, you grab both my feet. On the count of three, pull as hard as you can.” Dexter and Sam felt a little weird but did what Ricky asked. “One…two…THREE!” shouted Ricky. Dexter and Sam pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and pulled, until they were too tired to pull. Ricky leaped up and stood there smiling as if he were 10 feet tall.

He looked at his friends, “So do I look any taller?”

Dexter and Sam looked at him from heat to toe and both said, “No.”

Feeling defeat, Ricky decided to go inside. On his way in, he noticed the whole family huddled in a circle. Out of curiosity, he went to see what was going on. “What happened?” asked Ricky.

“I was going to do some yard work, so I took off my wedding ring to put it in my pocket. It slipped out of my hands, dropped to the ground and rolled beneath that small crevice in the corner.  I couldn’t reach it” said his mom.

“Maybe I can crawl inside to get it” said his dad. His dad tried but was too big to fit in the small space. Billy tried but was too big as well. Chad tried, and then Beth, and then Anna. Everyone was too big and tall to fit in that tiny space.

“Let me try” said Ricky.

Since he was only 3 feet 2, Ricky easily crawled into the small space and retrieved his mom’s ring. When he came out, his family cheered and congratulated him on a job well done. His mom hugged him and said, “You see, sometimes being short is not so bad. You can do things that tall people can’t do.” Ricky smiled with joy.

Later that night the whole family celebrated Ricky’s accomplishment over a hearty meal. The next day when Ricky went to measure himself in the doorway, he noticed that he was an inch taller. He was extremely happy that he grew. It wasn’t alot but that was alright by him. Ricky grinned and proudly said, “3 feet 3, I’m still short but that’s fine by me. I can do things that tall people can’t do.”

Mark Kaneshige

Chloe’s Stage Fright

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Chloe was the only student in third grade that loved to dance. It didn’t matter where, it didn’t matter how, it didn’t even matter if there was music playing or not Chloe just loved dancing. Her dancing involved a lot of twirling, skipping, hopping, jumping, swaying, and prancing.

Chloe’s teacher, Miss Keegan, noticed Chloe’s fondness for dancing and thought she was the perfect choice for the part of the dancing princess in their third grade play. Miss Keegan walked up to Chloe and asked, “Hey Chloe, we’re having a play this Friday night and I was wondering if you would like to be in it?”

Dancing away, Chloe replied “I dunno.”

“I think you would be perfect as the lead character” said Miss Keegan, “the dancing princess.”

She stopped and looked at Miss Keegan.  “Dancing?” said Chloe.

“Yes, you like to dance right?” asked Miss Keegan.

“All the time” exclaimed Chloe.

“So do you want to be the dancing princess in our play?” asked Miss Keegan.

“Yes!” said an excited Chloe.

“Great. The play is going to be in four days so we’ll be rehearsing for a short while afterschool.” said Miss Keegan. “Okay” answered Chloe. And with that, Chloe danced away with a hop, skip, and a twirl.

Afterschool, for the next four days, Chloe rehearsed and rehearsed and rehearsed and rehearsed with Miss Keegan and a few of her classmates. Miss Keegan was pleased at the way her students practiced, “I’m proud of you all. And especially you Chloe, you dance very well. You’re all going to do just fine for tonight’s play. See you later tonight.” Chloe was so happy to be in a play that involved the one thing she loved the most…dancing. Chloe gathered her things and proceeded to walk home. She was joined by two of her friends, Sarah and Kevin, who were also in the play.

As they were walking home Chloe said “Isn’t it great that we’re in a play?”

“I guess so” replied Sarah, “but I’m kind of scared.”

“Yeah, me too” said Kevin. Chloe was a bit puzzled and asked “What are you scared of?” “Performing in front of all those people” said Kevin.

“Yeah, all those people staring at you. I hope I don’t trip or fall. Everybody would laugh at me.” Sarah added. Chloe was a bit concerned at what Sarah said.

“I hope I don’t forget what to say” said Kevin, “that’s even more scarier.” Chloe started to look a little scared.

“I’m glad I’m not you Chloe” said Sarah. Kevin said the same, “Yeah, I’m glad I’m not you.”

“Why?” asked a puzzled Chloe.

“Because you’re the main character” said Kevin, “you have to dance and talk.” Sarah added, “Yeah, all those people will be watching you. What if you trip and fall or forget your lines?” “Everyone will laugh at you” said Kevin.

Chloe was now scared.

Sarah and Kevin waved Chloe goodbye as she headed into her house. Chloe ran up to her room and sat on her bed. “I wish I wasn’t in the play” said Chloe.

Just then, her mom entered the room, “Are you ready for the play tonight?”

“No” answered Chloe.

“Why not? Didn’t you rehearse all this week with Miss Keegan?” asked her mom.

“Yeah” said Chloe, “but I’m scared.”

“What are you scared of?” asked her mom.

“What if I trip and fall or forget what to say, everyone will laugh at me. I’m scared.” said Chloe.

“Don’t be, everybody gets a little stage fright when they have to speak or perform in front of people.” said her mom. Chloe was puzzled at what her mom said, “Stage fright? What’s that?”

Her mom looked at her, “That’s when you get nervous. You’re worried about every little that could go wrong, like tripping, falling, or forgetting what to say. But if you practiced hard enough that won’t happen.” “You practiced hard didn’t you” stated her mom.

“Yes” said Chloe.

“You dance all the time and you never forget a step right” said her mom. “Yeah” said Chloe. “So don’t worry so much” said her mom, “you’re only doing what you love to do except it’s on a stage. You dance all the time in front of your dad and I, your brothers and sisters, aunties and uncles, and cousins.”

Chloe listened to every word her mom said. Her mom added, “When you go on the stage tonight, just pretend that your dad and I, your brothers and sisters, aunties and uncles, and cousins are the only ones in the audience okay?”

Chloe thought for a second and smiled, “I can do that.”

That night Chloe remembered what her mom said. She never forgot what to say and she twirled, hopped, skipped, swayed, and pranced with ease. Everyone cheered and clapped when the play was done. Chloe took a bow and smiled.

“I did it!” Chloe proudly said, “Let’s do this again!”

Mark Kaneshige

Strolling down memory lane.

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It’s funny how a person, place or thing will trigger memories of long ago; most of us will reminisce the best or worst part of that experience and revel at the fact of how we’ve improved from that moment in time.  We all at some point in our lives will stroll down memory lane, not because we have to but because it’s an inherent trait in us as humans.  The reason why I bring this up is because my family and I stopped by Ala Moana Shopping Center last night and for once I was totally clueless as to what stores were left from my childhood.  It used to be you’d pull up the ramp into the parking lot and you could see the stores but now you almost need a map to maneuver your way around the center.  As we strolled about the place, the pantheon of glitzy and glamorous stores there were staggering.  The sight of “local” people hanging out had now been replaced by the cornucopia of tourists from various countries scuttling about like busy bees.  Being in the middle of this mob, I couldn’t help but be flustered.

What happened to the good ‘ole days where Ala Moana Shopping Center looked like this:  AlaMoana3

As we passed store after store, a sense of nostalgia crept into my somnolent mind.

“Damn, I really missed this place.”  AlaMoana8

“Didn’t there used to be that big ‘artsy’ stuff here?”  AlaMoana1

“Wasn’t there a sand place here?”  AlaMoana4 

 “There had to be a Woolworth’s here right?”  AlaMoana7

“I remember shopping here for my clothes.”  AlaMoana6

“Didn’t we have a cooler more inviting koi pond structure here?” AlaMoana2

I was questioning myself, searching every image that I could find in the recess of my vast memory vault as if to piece together some mythical place that only a few select were given access to.  I know change is inevitable but sometimes it can be detrimental as well.  What was once my haven had now become something unrecognizable; something I now avoid like the plague.  The sense of everything “local” had now become a multi-million dollar conglomerate catering to the tourist…SIGH.  But alas, that’s just my personal view…or wanton need to cling to my childhood past.  Although unsettling, it was truly great to walk down memory lane and see how Ala Moana Shopping Center was in my mind’s eye.

Our family now goes to Kahala Mall KahalaMall6

where the “localness” still exists;

KahalaMall1KahalaMall3KahalaMall02KahalaMall4

hopefully this’ll be the place where my children can add favorable memories to their “nostalgic vault”, I know that I’ve added it to mine.

So many stories, so little time to write.

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As a writer, the one key dilemma that I often encounter is having too many stories in my head and too little time to get them all out onto my computer.  Granted not all of them are good but nonetheless it’s a story.  Sometimes when I’m finished writing one story and about to start the next intended one, a new idea pops into my head and I have the urge to work on that on.  It’s times like these that I wish I was the mutant Jamie Madrox aka “Multple Man” from the X-Men comics or better yet Uzumaki Naruto and then I could perform Kage bunshin no jutsu. I could produce thousands of clones of myself and work on them till it’s finished…no wait maybe not thousands cause otherwise I’d run out of stories.  Anyhow the key problem is just having too many ideas in my head and not enough time to write it out and give it the proper care it needs to become a good story. There are times that I end up putting ideas on the back burner to work on the ones that I truly feel passionate about.  It’s so hard to do because each idea or story is precious to me and I feel that sometimes if I abandon it, I may never get another chance at coming up with a new one.  Guess that’s the fear that all writers have…not being able to come up with something new.  That’s the price we all pay and that’s why I guess my dilemma will never be resolved…sigh.  Just have to live with the fact that I have a ton of stories in my head and so little time to write them all down.

Out of the frying pan, into the fire.

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Normally the phrase “Out of the frying pan and into the fire” means escaping a bad situation and ending up in an even worse situation but in the past several weeks this phrase is more associated with our current weather here in the islands.  It’s been the worst weather ever since I’ve been alive.  You jump in the shower to rinse off the stickiness but a few minutes later, you’re hot and sticky all over again.  Just trying to combat this heat has been a physical and intellectual battle and mother nature has been winning.  The main question is how to stay cool and comfortable without the advantage of having an air conditioner in your humble abode.  (Damn you board of directors for not allowing us to have A/C’s within our units and curse you El Nino weather system.) Your mind’s going into overdrive and put on your best Einstein face just trying to figure out how to beat the heat.  In an attempt to be creative, sweat pours out of every orifice and you succumb to your basic escape plan…jump in the shower for a cold rinse.  Staying in the shower until the weather changes for the better is simply out of the question.  Stripping down to your underwear and constantly drinking water helps; even placing ice packs on your body and lying in front of a fan also beats the heat. But alas nothing lasts forever and you’re back to feeling hot and sticky.  Yes it royally sucks but what can you do; guess I’ll go jump in the shower for my 20th rinse and feel cool for a couple of minutes.

Man of action

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My biggest annoyance in life is that I’ve always felt that if you “Talk the talk, then walk the walk.”  I’m a person who believes that you should always stay true to your word.  If you say you’re going to do something, then do it.  What’s so hard about that?!  I can boast about certain things that I’ve done in my life without reticence; some may sound outlandish while others hard to believe, but I have the proof to back it up.   I know a lot of people that talk smack and never follow through or give a million and one reasons/ excuses why they’re hesitant; some even speak a good story but can’t back their claim.  Can’t tolerate those people; personally think that they’re just too damn scared to get out of their comfort zone to make even a feeble attempt.  My whole point is don’t bring up a subject, event, situation, bucket list task and tell people you’re thinking about doing it if you had the time, money or skills.  We all know you’re not going to do it, you probably just wanted to start a conversation for the sake of having the attention drawn to you.  There’s only a few select people in the world that stay true to their word…it’s a rarity to be next to one.  I at least have the good fortune to know some and it’s quite refreshing.  So just remember to have the balls to do what you tell people you’re going to do and then Nike up…JUST DO IT!

Keeping the creative juices flowing.

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Coming up with fresh and original ideas is probably one of the toughest aspect to being a writer.  Just when you think you got something unique, you find out that someone else wrote about a story that is similar in tone to what you created.  It can be frustrating to say the least.  Hollywood wants writers to have something completely original but yet they are doing “reboots” like there’s no tomorrow. Coming up with an idea that no one has ever thought of is a feat in itself.  I don’t know how other writers deal with this.  It’s hard to keep one’s creative juices flowing knowing that your idea probably was already written four or five times prior.  Needless to say, we trudge through and put pen to paper and write.  We become the eternal optimist and have faith that the story we created is both fresh and new.  It’s the only way we can keep our juices flowing.  We just have to put on our blinders and write as if we’re the only writer left on this planet Earth.  I don’t know how my other colleagues handle this, but this is how I keep my creative juices flowing.  My voice is unique and that is fine by me.

TV viewing…24/7…365 a year

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It’s so strange that TV viewing is on 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 a year. Basically it’s the norm of our society.  If we don’t like something we see, a simple click of the remote control helps us to peruse the several hundreds of channels our cable company or satellite dish has to offer.  Who would’ve thought that technology advanced to the point where we can watch TV at all hours of the day.  I often contemplate what would have been if this was available to us forty years ago.  If I grew up with this type of TV viewing would I still be the same person as I am now?  And if this was available way back when, just think how much more advanced TV viewing would be at the present.  Completely mind-boggling.  I’m glad at the fact that I grew up at a time when there were only three channels to watch on a black and white TV screen that had sign on and sign off times.  It made me appreciate what I have now and the experience of seeing the evolution of TV is priceless.  I try to explain this to my children but the concept of even a black and white TV has their mouth agape with a dumbfounded stare to boot.  I like how TV viewing is progressing and can’t wait to see what the next thirty to forty years will produce.  Now if we can just get a flying car produced during my lifetime, I’ll be most happy.