Author: markmkane

An apple a day…

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Apple

We all know that phrase “An apple a day keeps the doctor away” right?  The reason why I’m thinking of this right now is because I’m sick.  Not dying sick or sick like in awesome but the kind of sick where you have a stuffy nose, sore throat, phlegm type of coughing, fever and body aches kind of sick.

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Back when I was in my teens and 20’s, getting sick wasn’t a big deal.  I would either shake it off or the duration would last at the most a couple of days.  I felt “invincible” with a super strong immune system to boot.  It gave me the ability to go out have fun and live with unabashed fear.

As I got into my 30’s, I noticed that I couldn’t quite shake off my cold or flu as fast and the length of days extended at least two more days; still felt “invincible” but cautious at the same time.

Now that I’m in my 40’s, that feeling of invincibility is nowhere to be found and “vulnerability” is the mindset that I now hold.

I can’t quite shake off an illness like I used to, the length of being under the weather feels like eons and my immune system is almost nonexistent.

No matter how much I intake liquids and ingest every know over-the-counter cold and flu medications, the process of recovery is moving at a snail’s pace.  I feel a slight trepidation on when I get into my 50’s, 60’s or even 70’s.

Why am I writing this when I’m sick you may ask?  The answer is simple…I have no freakin’ clue?!  Guess it’s my OCD kicking in or the writer in me feeling the need to be diligent and disciplined in having something to say each and every week. Yeah it’s stupid, but in the end I just gotta be me.  This week’s blog might not make any sense or be a complete waste of time but in my opinion, I fulfilled my quota for this week.  Now I’m off to pop more meds into my system and crash in bed for the next several hours.

An exam by any other name

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The other day I was going through all my e-mails and de-cluttering my account by deleting all of the old stuff.  What I came across was an e-mail back in 7/15/2010 that I sent to my friends and co-workers about my first time prostate examination experience.  As I read through it, I vividly relived that moment and thought to myself “Did I really go through that ordeal?!”

I remembered dreading that day but in hindsight I couldn’t help but laugh my ass off for writing it down and sharing a “private” moment with others.  And now I’d like to share it with those that stumble across my blog post for this week.

Here you go:

“I can now say that I’ve officially had something shoved up my butt for the first time in my life.  It was an experience to say the least.  How’d it go you say, well…

 I brought my family with me to my appointment for peace of mind, not that it helped any cause all I could think of was the inevitable.  As usual, I got called in for a pre-check: weigh in, temperature, high blood pressure and then was sent back out to wait.  On any other visit that would be fine but today it was hell.  Visions of what to expect raced through my mind…would it hurt, how long would the drilling be, would it hurt, what position am I gonna be in, would it hurt…things of that nature.

 When I got called in and led to my examination room, I thought to myself “Everyone goes through this type of examination in some shape or form.  So cowboy up and get it done!” 

 As I was waiting in the exam room, the cowboy got the hell outta Dodge and I was left with my own thoughts again.

 My doctor came in, as usual all smiles, and I was ready to do this.  He began by opening up my records and talking about the results of my blood test…LDL, HDL levels, the kidneys, the liver and so on and so forth.  Asked how I was doing, my workout routine, nutrition, any problems with vision, hearing, bowel movements.  What the hell is with all of this talking?!  Can’t we just do it and then talk later? 

 The doctor, still all smiles, went through the usual routine of checking the eyes, ears, nose, throat, breathing, reflexes, feeling lymph nodes and all over my mid-section.  At this point in time, all that I could compare this examination to was the routine of sex.  Yes, even at a juncture like this that “every 7 seconds” rule is still present.  (According to studies, men think about sex every 7 seconds…yeah right, as if.  More like 5 in my opinion.) The talking at the beginning was chit chat, and now all this touchy feely thing is fore play. 

 Finally when he was satisfied, he opened a drawer and started laying some contents onto a table.  A roll of toilet paper which he unravelled, a little packet, gloves and a tube of surgical lubricant from which he squeezed a big glob.  KA-PACK!…on went the gloves and “Take off your pants” was heard.  I briefly saw his face and what pissed me off a little was that he was still all smiles.  What a frickin’ bastard!

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 He told me to turn around, face the wall, and bend down and put my elbows on the bed.  “Holy shit here we go!”  For a nano-second, I remembered that just the other night on cable, I had seen a scene like this on a soft core porn movie.  (Every 7 seconds again.) 

 As he spread my butt cheeks, all I could think about was trying to find “my happy place.”   As that finger went in, any hopes of finding “my happy place” went out the door.  Although it lasted for about 5-7 seconds, the theory of relativity kicked in and it felt longer.  He put a sample of stool onto the packet and the result was negative.  My prostate was normal and I don’t have anything to worry about; he showed me a model of what he was doing while he was playing roto-rooter. 

 With that he wanted to schedule me for another exam like this next year.  Next year?!  I asked him that if I had nothing to worry about why do I have to come back again.  Couldn’t this be done every 5 years?  I guess when you pass 40 these things need to be done.  Shit–fine then! 

 I left the room, walking just slightly different than how I came in, and feeling a bit strange for the experience.  No wait…that was just an urge to wipe off all that excess lube still in my butt crack. 

 Anyway I just wanted to share and figured it would be therapeutic to let it all out.”

Anime…not just animation but a “way of life”.

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Since I was a young boy, I’ve been a product of the TV generation.  It was always TV, TV, TV…could never quite get into listening to the radio to pass the time away.  For me it was, “What’s the latest thing on TV that’ll keep my attention for this week” scenario.  I was glued to the TV anxiously waiting for the latest cartoon or live action show that really and truly “WOWed” me.

 It was a time when there was no cable TV or 24 hour viewing of thousands upon thousands of channels.  It was either black & white or color TV with three or four stations that had a sign on and sign off time…this meant that television stations started their broadcast day at 5 or 6am and went dark at 12 midnight.  Believe me this really sucked and wished I could’ve been born in the 21st Century.

 But as product of growing up in Honolulu, Hawaii in the 70’s with KIKU-TV, I was fortunate to view different types of shows that the rest of the nation were not readily exposed to.  I got to see:

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Kikaida & Kikaida-01

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Rainbow Man

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Kamen Rider V-3

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Go Rangers

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Inazuman

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Denjin Zaboga

and

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Akumaizer 3

Every week I made sure that the adults knew that Saturday’s between 6-7pm was my time to watch “my” programs.  This was my world and I absolutely LOVED IT!  It was such a mind trip seeing these fantastical beings doing action stuff.

I couldn’t get enough of it.  Week in and week out my mind would wonder what each new episode would reveal.  After their run ended, the station broadened their scope and started featuring such cartoons like:

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Yuusha Raideen

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Getter Robo G

 I called them cartoons because back then that’s what they were known as “cartoons”; anime was not readily said in those times.  Watching this was a change of pace from the “live action” stuff, but was AWESOMELY COOL nonetheless.  After its run, the station starting airing more passive cartoons like

Candy Candy
Ikkyu-San

Candy Candy and Ikkyu-San; granted I gave it a shot and watched a couple of episodes but quickly decided that it was not my usual fare.  A couple years after, that station soon stopped airing kids’ shows and concentrated on more adult themed programs.

As I advanced in age, I started watching the usual stuff like G.I. Joe, Transformers, Thundercats, and Silverhawks but nothing really captured my attention as “MUST SEE.” My life felt a little hollow and there were times when I longed to be fully invested in something different again.

In the late 80’s, our household got cable; back then the viewing was not like how it is in 2016, channels didn’t quite reach the 100 mark but it was different nonetheless.

One fateful day, I flipped the channel to Fuji Television and stumbled across Hokuto No Ken (Fist of the North Star).

With eyes widened and mouth agape; I stood there in silence.  I was completely floored; the animation wasn’t as crude like it was in the 70’s and the action was off the charts.  As soon as it ended I had an “OMG WTF just happened!!!” moment.

Something stirred from within; that hollow space was now whole again and I had to watch another episode, and another, and another.  This became “MUST SEE” TV for me again.  It was my first exposure to the world of Japanese animation…I became invested in a series once again and I LIKED IT!

The series ran for a couple of years and ended to my dismay.  I was starved for more and eagerly scoured their listing for any and all new animation but no such luck.  More adult themed shows popped up again and I was back to feeling empty inside.

Fast track to the 90’s…with the advent of the internet and the progression it made, I soon stumbled across internet sites where they featured Japanese “anime” for viewing entertainment.  Now this was where I first came across the term “anime” and was awed at all the types of series that were out there.

The graphics were more refined and the movement and action were almost human-like.  This was mind-blowingly insane and there were no words to describe my thoughts.  I viewed a whole bunch of anime but was somehow drawn at the time to a series called Naruto.

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Naruto

I liked the concept and idea of the shinobi and their fighting aspects AND I thought the hand gestures to use certain jutsu’s was remarkably cool to boot.  I followed the Naruto series religiously and all of the movies in-between.

When it ended, I was depressed that I would follow the same pattern as before BUT was pleasantly surprised that it continued on in the form of Naruto Shippuden…AND there were more movies to follow as well.  I was in absolute heaven…so, this was “anime”…it was purely orgasmic to be a part of this world.

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Naruto Shippuden

Living in the 21st Century and having two kids who are into “anime” helps to broaden my horizons as well.  They introduce me to shows that they think I might like:

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One Punch Man

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Attack On Titan

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Parasyte

With a cornucopia of anime programs out there, it’s impossible to view every single one.  Having extra pair of eyes helps to filter the awesome ones from the not so interesting ones.  Such a time saver.

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I’m glad that I went on this journey of discovery (and evolution) of Japanese animation.  AND through all this, I learned that “anime” was not just a thing…but a way of life.  It was a lifestyle that I had to experience to fill a part of my soul.

My Wedding Vow…

/ markmkane / Leave a comment

My life had no meaning

it was desolate and blue,

darkness consumed me

until I met you.

The times spent with you

gave me a feeling so great –

it felt like paradise

had just opened its gate.

Your warmth and your kindness

that you eagerly gave,

my belief in your love –

my life you have saved.

Your faith in me was strong

through the good and the bad,

you gave of your love

made me appreciate what I had.

Your lovely voice,

your warm tender smile

the presence of your beauty

makes love all the worth while.

This feeling for you

is so hard to convey,

to pick one true meaning

would be unjustly to say.

My spirit soars

when your presence is near,

“YOU”…the love of my life

gives me reason to cheer.

To have you as a partner in life

is a great honor for me,

and eternity in heaven

is what our lives will always be.

It’s Showtime!

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Movie1

As an avid movie goer and struggling screenwriter, I constantly look forward to upcoming new movies; in my case it’s action, thrillers, animation and comedies.  Let’s face it, I’m a guy and those are the things that keep me most interested in my love of movies.

 At the start of each year, I look at the release dates of all the prospective movies that I must see and jot them down on my “Must See” movie list.  After that’s done, I make another list called my “Must Get DVD” list; it’s mainly for movies that I want to see but feel that I could wait until the DVD comes out.   

 Now…back to my “Must See” list; I post it in my cubicle at work and look at the release date of the movie and the current date.  I was never good in math but my mind quickly calculates the countdown clock in my head as to how long before I’m sitting in that theater watching that movie with mouth agape and eyes wide open in pure awe.

 In the days leading up to the release, I constantly peruse my favorite movie sites anxiously waiting to get a glimpse of that first trailer. 

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Viewing it once is never enough, I need to see it three, four…heck ten times just to soak in and absorb what I missed the first time around. 

 Months turn to weeks and then to days as I wait in baited breath for that second trailer and a final trailer of that “Must See” movie on my list.  Seeing it several times over and over again is the process that I have to go through to catch all the nuances of what I’ll be seeing once I get into that theater.

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 Tick, tock, tick, tock…the countdown in my head starts as I wait in feverish anticipation to all the amazing things I’ll be seeing.  I look at my favorite sites to see who got the chance to preview the movie early and see if they divulged any small spoilers about what to expect.  I’m the kind of person that like hearing these things; it never ruins the movie for me.  If it’s on my “Must See”, nothing will detract me from going to see it. 

 The only thing in the build up to seeing a movie on my “Must See” list that I don’t thoroughly enjoy are the early reviews.  If it’s a good one, I’ll read it; guess it’s a way of validating what I knew all along about why I chose this movie. 

 If it’s a bad one, I’ll read it quickly and completely ignore it; sometimes critics over analyze a movie to the point of exhaustion.  If a movie entertained me and made me forget about all my problems for two and a half hours, then it did its job!  End of story!

 On movie day, I purchase my ticket, get the necessities and choose a seat all the way at the back of the auditorium so that I can view this movie in grand spectacular fashion.  It can’t get here any quicker; I constantly look at my watch and watch the minutes wind down.  When the lights dim, I lean back in my chair and sigh in utter relief that that time has come; it’s finally…SHOWTIME!

1st Anniversary

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1st3

I can’t believe that one year ago I started a blog…ME of all people.  At the behest of my manager, Alexia, I needed to create a blog site to promote myself on social media.  She’s such a savy person when it comes to that so who am I to argue.

When I set up my journey on creating my site, I was a complete novice.  No experience whatsoever.  There were times when I felt like I needed to hire someone to do this for me so that I can skip all the clutter and get to the details of just writing.

I am so glad that I opted to do this on my own.  It was rough at first but soon I got the hang of the process it took to set up a site I could call my own.  Yes, you can truly “teach an old dog new tricks.”  I am in no way an expert yet but I’m still in the process of  learning all the intricacies to fixing my blog site to get it to how I want.

Once I got something up, the question was what was I going to write.  I had no clue as to what direction I was going to take.  I perused other sites and soaked in what they had to offer; soon I got to thinking that I should just write about whatever I felt like I needed to convey to anyone who would stumble across my site.

I wrote about anything and everything, my experiences, my family, my children, my pets, being a screenwriter, writing in general, poetry, what it took to be a writer, about life, pet peeves, being an eternal optimist, trying to be positive and so on and so forth.

It didn’t matter what I wrote I just needed to write.  And I made a promise that I would write something each week regardless if it was eloquent or rough around the edges.  I just needed to write.  I made this promise to myself and I intended to keep it.

Well, it’s been a year and I’m proud to say that I’ve written something every week.  I’ve kept my promise and will continue to do so until I decide otherwise.  In the scheme of things, I felt like being a blogger was therapeutic.  I got to sound off about a lot of things and was most satisfied that I got to share it…even if no one read it.  Writing was writing after all and I am trying to better myself in this craft that I love.

I’m happy I started this journey and am truly excited to see where I’ll be next year.  The future is unwritten and I’m looking forward seeing how my site will grow.  I am honored to be one of the millions of bloggers in this world expressing myself through my site.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To Blog or Not To Blog

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With my one year anniversary of have a blog site coming up, I looked back and wondered what would’ve been if I didn’t start this venture.

Before I started all of this, I had a few misconceptions about bloggers.  The three things that stuck out were: ONE – it was easy to create a site, TWO – everyone was doing it to become famous and THREE – you needed to be an expert on a subject to post things about.

I strongly resisted the urge to be a part of this because I thought that I’d be wasting my time that should otherwise be devoted to my screenwriting craft.

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For years I continued to pursue my dreams and had forgotten all about blogging.  One fateful day my manager, who’s VERY social media savvy, recommended that I create a blog site and put myself out there and promote myself and my stories.

“Oh great…GRRR…do I really have to do this!?” I thought with disgust.  I procrastinated in starting this new journey and was making all kinds of excuses in my head as to why I’ll never enjoy this.

Apprehension was always in the background when I started to do research on how to start a blog site.  I engrossed myself in any and all available info that was accessible; soon that hesitation started to diminish and a sense of wonderment and encouragement set in.

The thought that “You know what, I really think I can do this” popped into my brain and my mindset was that I was now “ALL IN.”

When I first started, I thought that I was going to have my site up in a couple of hours and would be posting on it soon after.

Boy was I wrong.  Creating a blog site was not easy and creating one that would fit my needs was even more daunting.  It took a couple of months to get it to suit my needs but it still is a work in progress.

Once I got my site up and running, the next step was posting to it.  What was I going to write?  How long should it be?  What if no one likes it?  All these thoughts and more started to creep in and anxiety set in.  Damn…whatever I write will be out there for all to see; that was a scary feeling.

Despite all my fears, I “manned up” and published my first post.  That wasn’t so bad.  A week after that I posted another story on something mundane.  The following week it was a random post about my kids.

I started reading all the other bloggers out there and was surprised (and relieved) at what I found.  My fellow bloggers were posting about a lot of things: their experiences, historical accounts, traveling, writing, pets, friends, foods, anything and everything.

It was amazing to see the cornucopia of topics bloggers everywhere talked about.  Some of the writing were eloquent, while others were simple and straightforward; it was quite refreshing reading all of this.

Some wrote to just get things off their chest, while others wrote in hopes of helping others; I connected with people whom I never me all because of their posting.  I connected with people whom I never met all because of their posts.  It was truly AMAZING!

The more I wrote, the more I felt comfortable.  When I got my first “LIKE” and “Comment”, I was ecstatic to the point where I jumped off my chair and danced around like a giddy child on Christmas day.

This encouraged me to continue on and write on subjects that I would never even think of.  I ventured into other types of writing that even helped my style of writing. 

“What was I so afraid of?” I thought.  Fast track to a year later, my mindset now is “I should’ve started blogging years ago.” 

For anyone that is thinking about starting a blog, all I can say is “GO FOR IT!”  It’s a way to get yourself out there and share what you have to offer to others.  You’ll be interested to find that there are others that share your same dreams, feelings, experiences, passion and humor.

Don’t be afraid.  The only question that you should ask yourself is whether…”To Blog or Not To Blog.”

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Take two aspirins and “HUG” your pet

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We’ve all experienced a day, or days, when things just didn’t go as expected.  You know what I’m talking about…car getting a flat tire, being chewed out at work, vicious fight with our significant other, being sick to our stomach and so on and so forth. 

 It’s like we felt like the world was against us and we were the butt of a million jokes all lined up waiting to slap us in the face one after another.  We just wanted to crawl into a hole and wake up the next day as a new person who was draped with every good luck charm the world had to offer.

 It’s hard to recover from something like this. Yes it takes time and for some of us a good stiff drink. For the fortunate few that owns a pet, getting through something like this helps accelerate the process much, much faster.

 After life has beaten you to a pulp and your spirits are gone, you trudge your weary feet through the door and are greeted by your beloved pet.

 They make a mad dash for you at the speed of light and greet you like there’s no tomorrow.  Having that “warm” reception, after the day you’ve been through, helps to ease the pain and kick start the endorphin in your body into overdrive.

 They remind you that no matter what transpired “out there”, I’ll make you forget all that ever happened.  Our pets, whether it be a dog, cat, bird, hamster, pig, horse, etc., show us unconditionally what love is all about.

Just the sight of their perked up face, wagging tail and herky-jerky body movements is enough to put a smile on anyone.  Dare I say even the most hardened of faces.

 Having that unabashed feeling from this animal is a truly most extraordinary phenomenon to behold.  They make us laugh in our  darkest of days by just being themselves.  Their power to elicit all that’s happy, funny and joyful in us is just simply AMAZING.

 Being able to hold our pets and confide in them REALLY, REALLY makes our life all that more precious.  We forget all that “terrible stuff” and soon take delight in the positive.

 We no longer feel that doom and gloom and are hopeful for an exceptionally grand tomorrow.  We soon think to ourselves that “Life’s not all that bad” and our luck’s about to change for the better.  All this was because of our pet…all their positivity seeped into our core beings.  It became the perfect antidote to our dilemma.

 Our family member, our pet, that looked past all our faults and unexpected misfortunes and gave us inspiration and hope that life is best experienced together.

 So if you have a hell of a day, don’t despair…just take two aspirins and “HUG“ your pet!

If you can say it, then you can write it

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There’s this misconception amongst some people that they’re not good writers; that they can’t write at all.  They feel that in order to be a skilled scribe, their vocabulary must rival that of a person with an I.Q. of 130 or above.

 These people feel that they can’t string together the correct words and phrases to convey their thoughts, ideas, instructions, stories or feelings.  These individuals see writers as a special breed of people that sequester themselves to a room and sit in front of a typewriter or computer for days on end frenziedly pounding on the keys of their devices creating their masterpiece.

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 I, for one, felt that way; I perceived writers as these “gifted beings” that could poignantly craft a sentence, paragraph or story into a work of art.  Their use of words and grammar were flawless; it’s as if everything they inscribed on paper immediately became canon.

 Every time I had to write a paper for school, I’d have anxiety because I was cognizant of the fact that I was NOT one of these “gifted beings” that could put my words into writing and effectively communicate my thoughts.

 These shortcomings, and the fact that I dreamed of being a writer, drove me to improve myself in both words and sentence structures.  I was obligated to become a master of my craft and not do a disservice to writers all over the world.

I enrolled in many writing classes, read many books, wrote many things ranging from short stories, children stories, poems, screenplays, business writing and reports.  I voraciously wrote every day and even composed sentences in my head to sharpen my skills.

In all those years of writing I found one thing to be true…all of our writing, words, feelings, stories and ideas come from within. 

 Storytellers of old used to pass down their history, urban legends or culture orally from one generation to the next.  One day someone had the solution to record them on paper; that paper soon was passed on and improved on by later generations.

 Now if they could communicate effectively to another, they could surely write it down.  The whole point of writing is basically recording down on paper what’s inside of us.  If we could tell another person our idea then we could surely write it exactly as how we expressed it.

 One’s writing doesn’t have to be eloquent with long words and grammatically correct, it just needs to get our point across to the reader.  When we tell our story or idea, whether it be in a sentence, paragraph, page, or novel, as long as we’re able to get across what we need to say then we’ve accomplished what writing is all about. 

 If you have to compose a letter, report or story or dream of becoming a writer just always remember that it doesn’t take much.  Just remind yourself of the fact that “if you can say it, then you can write it.”  Speak out loud and then just write down what you’ve said on paper…that’s it.  You’ve just take the first steps to writing.

 Forget all that hogwash about long words and correct grammar; you’ll become efficient in that over time.  You just need to WRITE!  The whole point of writing is expressing yourself through your OWN choice of words; you’ll eventually develop a composition style that’s uniquely you.

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 We all talk, we do it every day.  It’s something that is inherently in us.  So go forth and write to your heart’s content.  AND remember…you don’t need a high I.Q. or a vast vocabulary to write; as long as you can speak your thoughts then you can surely write it.

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What the future holds

/ markmkane / Leave a comment

As each day passes

and your future draws near,

the answers to all your questions

may still be unclear

The solutions you seek

aren’t really hard to find,

just look within yourself

and your problems will be left behind

The same goes in life

as you grow old each day,

the more wiser you become

in each and every way

You learn to be patient,

you learn to be kind,

you become more trusting 

by using your heart with your mind

When the years go by

and you gracefully grow old,

use your acquired wisdom

and you’ll have a heart of gold.