Author: markmkane

In the darkness of the night

/ markmkane / Leave a comment

As a writer I often find that I’m my most productive at night.  Call me a night owl but for some strange reason that’s when I do my best thinking…my best work.  Just me and the computer…together as one.  This is how I feel:

“In the darkness of the night…

where the sounds of modern things are at ease,

where bodies are lifeless and in slumber

It is here where time momentarily stops

Problems dissipate,

feelings for loved ones are not thought of

It is here…

In the darkness of the night

where I find my peace,

the freedom to create,

a time of endless possibilities

where no on can see the true me

except for myself

Only here…

In the darkness of the night

where solitude is valued more than wealth,

the chance to stand

on one’s own two feet,

this brief precious moment

Helps to give me strength and insight

It can only be here…

In the darkness of the night.”

The Name’s The Game

/ markmkane / 2 Comments

 

There are a ton of challenges that come with being a screenwriter; the list is long and varied from person to person.

 I’ll wager that for all of us the common denominator is just writing a screenplay; it can be painstakingly difficult and time consuming.  Another most common, albeit monumental feat, is coming up with a high concept, fresh and original story idea.   

 Granted I encounter these every time sit at my computer ready to weave a tale, but for some reason my one arduous and stressful task is creating the names for the characters in my story.  Can you believe that?!  Coming up with a name is what I most dread about the screenwriting process.  Go figure.

I can sit for hours in front of my computer switching out names for the characters in my story as I write.  Having a cool name that embodies the character and all his/her flaws and strengths is a problem that I come up against all the time.  You’d think it would be easy…WRONG!  IT’S FREAKING HARD!!!

For me, it’s like doing higher levels of mathematics like combinatorics, hyperbolic geometry or algebraic topology…sheesh just saying that sends a cringe down my spine.

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Why can’t I come up with names for the people in my story?!  It’s sad that I have this same problem over and over and over again.  You’d think that I’d be good at crafting names by now but alas it’s a work in progress.  And don’t get me started on screenplay “titles”…that’s a-whole-nother can of stress induced worms.  

 There were maybe one or two times, in all my years writing, that I can actually say that I came up with a perfect name for a couple of the characters in my screenplay.  I was truly tempted to try and use them again in other stories but decided against it. 

 I’m just going to accept the fact that it’s another process that I must endure in my never ending journey of becoming an established screenwriter.  Hmmm…maybe in the meantime, I’ll ponder the thought of becoming an expert in creating “great” screenplay names/titles and offer up my services for those in the same predicament as I.  Now the only problem is, “What name should I call my service?” 

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What’s In A Name?

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“What’s in a name?

It’s most difficult to tell

because it’s intangible

it has no sight, taste or smell

What’s in a name?

Is it a reflection of you?

Does it reveal your true nature

or display something new?

What’s in a name?

What can it do?

Will it give you prestige

or cause embarrassment to you

What’s in a name?

That’s most difficult to see

A name is a name

most people will agree

But a name is not a name

for something special is there

I’ll reveal to you the answer

for all of you to share

The name that was given

to you specifically at birth

was to give you individuality

on this big planet Earth.”

That’s What Friends Are For.

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Friend2

We all have friends in our lives. Some may have an army of them while others a few. Contrary to most social media apps like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat and others of the ilk where quantity determines popularity and self-value, true friendship is based on quality.

 A friend is someone who is with you through the good times and the bad. They’re there to lift your spirits up and to support you in times of crisis.

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 We have childhood friends, work friends, family friends, fair weather friends and even befriended friends of friends.  “WOW!” that’s the most that I’ve used the word friends in one complete sentence.

There are some, the “lucky ones”, that are most fortunate to have a life-long friend or friends that have been with you in all stages of your life and you in theirs. You guys, the “lucky ones”, really hit the lottery.

There’s no question that family members can be our friends; but that’s a different type of bond that goes well beyond conventional friendship.

 For the rest of us, we’ve had friends that came in and out of our lives at various points in our life.  Some we lost touch with, some that fell apart, some that passed away, some that abandoned us, some that promised to keep in contact but never do and some that just quietly drifted away.

 Despite what type of friends we have, I feel that the ones that came into our lives at any given point in time was there for a reason.  They were there to serve a purpose, and when it was fulfilled, they moved on so that we could do the same.

 There’s nothing wrong with that.  Sometimes we weren’t meant to be life-long friends with certain people; that’s okay.  In that given time span of when we started that friendship till the time it ended should be cherished whether it be good or bad.

The fact that we shared a friendship with someone is an amazing feat in itself.  We displayed an ability to give of ourselves to another to the point where they liked us enough to do the same.  If we continue to do that throughout the rest of our lives, there will be no shortage of friends.

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 We all desire friends because life’s too short to go it alone.  We need that special someone to accompany us in our life’s journey because it’s just way more fun.  Having twice the laughs, twice the craziness, twice the smiles and twice the hugs is the best reward a friend could provide.

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The Beauty of a Rose…

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“The rose is a very special

most fascinating type of flower

so perfect and so dainty

but magical with power

Its color is as warm

as the early morning light,

that brings forth beauty into this world

for those who catch its sight

To hold this special flower

means to hold it with great care,

for you’re holding beauty within your hands,

its secret all to share

The beauty of this flower

is but a reflection only of you,

for it reflects the tenderness inside

and all the goodness that you do

This flower shows your happiness

that shines forth through the day,

it brings out your true nature –

your soft and gentle way

This rose is a symbol –

of assurance, not of doubt

for the ability to love beauty

is what life is all about.”

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Babysitting

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Babysitting is difficult and often considered a chore

To those that see this as a task will often hate it more

Watching over children is quite difficult to do,

when their screaming and yelling are all taunting you

Your patience is tried, your nerves are all bent,

you wonder and wonder where your intelligence went

“Why me?!  Why me?!” is what you will think,

The message is clear, damn you need a drink

Before that sip is taken, think back and reminisce

of those great childhood days that you so often miss

To be a child and see the fun things in life

is better than coping with the stress and the strife

Being happy, carefree, while being young and so small

is the greatest feeling to have most of all

It’s no different now than it was back before

Only thing is you understand it even more

You’ve now realized what your parents went through

You’ve known all along it would happen to you

Take heed my child for you’ve surely grown

Let this come to mind and let it be known

Your help was required because you understand and care

Your sympathy and kindness to the children should you share

So remember this poem for one day you’ll see

You’ll go through this again when you start your family.

 

 



 

			

	


			
				


	

							
Fear is the mind-killer.
						

			 / markmkane						 / 3 Comments
								

			


		

		
A quote that I often harken back to frequently in my life comes from Frank Herbert, writer of Dune.  In it there’s a quote:


“I must not fear.  Fear is the mind-killer.  Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.  I will face my fear.  I will permit it to pass over me and through me.  And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.  Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.  Only I will remain.”


The only part of the quote that is deeply embedded within my consciousness is “Fear is the mind-killer.”


That phrase always seem to pop into my head when it comes to the sudden interruptions that happen within my mundane life.  Things that I can’t control or the unknown puts me in a dazed and confused state; all rational thoughts become obscure within my psyche.


People around my usually give that same old advice, “Don’t worry about what you can’t control.”  “It’ll be okay if you just don’t think about it.”  “Everything’s gonna be fine.”


Now there are some people, the “lucky ones”,  that can glaze over these little bumps and carry on with their life, but I for one am not one of these chosen few.


Every time a “worst case scenario” presents itself, I lose all sense of myself.  Anxiety sets in and soon after fear creeps in and overtakes all of my waking thoughts.  My eternal optimistic nature just ups and leaves me fending for my life and its worth.


I tend to overthink things; I start to run every possible, and horrific, scenario in my head on how this situation, accident or illness will end.  I know that it’s not good to think like this and it certainly is not good for my health but I’m just a worrier at heart.


I just can’t seem to see the bright side of things and that’s getting me frustrated.  Only seeing the negative outcomes rather than the positive is truly destructive in nature.


To quote William Faulkner, “Fear is the most damnable, damaging thing to human personality in the whole world.”


I really believe in that but I’ve come to a point in my life where I’m just fed up feeling like this.  I know that I’m better than this and it really is true “Life is too short.”


Every time a hiccup presents itself in my life, no matter how bad, I stop to reflect how far I’ve come in life and take comfort in knowing that there are others in the world that are going through the same thing but in different degrees.  Sometimes we encounter a second, a third or even a fourth situation on top of what we’re originally dealing with.


I take stock in my family and friends and a sense of gratitude sets in.  Their smiling faces and unwavering support helped me get through the “rough times”.  It was a battle that was hard fought but I survived.  In all those instances I thought it was the worst thing ever to happen in my life, but I somehow managed to come out alright.


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Being positive in light of all the craziness that’s happening around us is a fight in itself but the results will only help to benefit our well-being.


Yes, there will be some rough patches in life where it gets solved quickly and stress free; I will treasure those the most.  And I know that there will be arduous times when the struggle will be an ongoing one with no relief in sight, but I’m training myself to see that glimmer of light at the end of that long tunnel.


No matter how dire the situation is, we really need to rely on our family and friends.  We need to get into that mindset where we should not go through this “rough patch” alone.  That is why I’m trying to adopt a new quote, “Remember the 3 P’s” to combat that “Fear is the mind-killer” lodged within my mind.


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 Staying Patient, Positive and Persisting on will help me get through any and all future obstacles life throws at me.  I will tackle it head on and be victorious!



			

	


			
				


	

							
A renewed sense of hope.
						

			 / markmkane						 / Leave a comment
								

			


		

		
HNW2016-photos


It’s that time of year when people start making resolutions for the new year.  Some will follow through, some will meet half their expectations and the rest will just brush it off.


As for myself, I always seem to get rejuvenated; that inner optimistic side emerges and gives me that feeling of what can happen.  All the things that didn’t go my way or the bad stuff that occurred in the previous year can finally be forgotten.  The slate is wiped clean  and I’m able to start over to accomplish the impossible.  My dreams are just a stone’s throw away, that better job is just within reach or that chance where my spirits can be raised once again .


I know that I’m not alone in feeling this.  There’s a select group of people out there known as the “eternal optimists”; you know who you are.  Despite all the odds, you find a glimmer of hope that drives you to carry on.


This is how I feel every time around this year.  I feel that I’m given a second chance to pursue what I could not in the previous year.  All the mistakes and wrong turns helped to better my understanding of how I should maneuver myself onto the right path.


Having this new sense of confidence helps to strengthen my resolves; I am empowered once again to know that life is still worth living.


New Year’s resolutions can help to motivate one’s self into self-improvement and happiness, drive them to reach their personal goals.  I, on the other hand, feel that ringing in the new year gives us a renewed sense of hope; to achieve anything and everything.  To dream big and see it come true.  So here’s to a new year where the sky’s the limit!


The only part that I dread for the new year is:

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Accentuate the positive.
						

			 / markmkane						 / Leave a comment
								

			


		

		
 


Positive


I always try to have a positive outlook on life; you know trying to have the mindset “Things always happen for a reason”, “God has a plan for you” and “When one door closes, another one opens.”  Being an eternal optimist is what I strive for, especially in the world we live where constant negativity surrounds us.  Staying positive is the key to have a productive life.  It enables us to be invincible and have that mentality that anything is possible; it’s what fuels us to pursue our wildest dreams no matter what.  It’s a strong driving force that knows no bounds.  Being positive endows us with unlimited energy to endure when others give up.


But there are times when it’s just plain difficult to stay on that path, I’m only human after all.  Granted there are days when despair and frustration sets in and it just kills the fight in me.  It beats me to a pulp and spits out every ounce of optimism left in my fiber.  When this happens I turn into what I despise the most…negative comments start spewing out of my mouth like there’s no tomorrow.  At times it feels as if a lot of pent up pessimism and gloomy thoughts overcome rational thinking; like a narcotic drug taking hold of an unwilling host.  Let me tell you once you get a taste of it, it’s easy to become addicted.  You vent to one person and another and another; it brings them down and they start to spout unfavorable things to other people.  I can truly understand how it can spread like a virus causing a pandemic.


Luckily we all have someone or a group of people that will listen to us, show compassion, tell us like it is or give sage advices.  It’s in those instances where our sense of optimism gets reinvigorated; we start to feel like a heel for being negative in the first place.  I can honestly say that without that crucial support system, I would be a constant mess roaming the streets and contributing to the downfall of our society.  No matter how bad things get, my positivity will always win out over the battle with negativity.  It’s a war that is continually waged inside of me; I accept that as a part of life. 


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Staying positive takes time and truly requires A LOT of skill.  You just need to carefully maneuver through all the detrimental obstacles and maintain a sense of balance within yourself and time with your family and friends.  I’m at that stage in my life where I learned to appreciate what I have instead of what I don’t.  It’s easy to overlook what’s around you so I take the time each day to reflect on all the good things surrounding me.  Basking in that makes me feel as if I’ve won the lottery. 


I’m grateful for my wonderful family and friends that are my support system; they’re the glimmer of hope that appear at the end of the tunnel whenever hardships are occurring throughout my life. 


 If we all can find that support system the enables our positive side to exude our being, then the world would be a little less chaotic and negative.  I’ll do my part to try and spread a little bit of optimism to those I come in contact with; until then I will try to accentuate the positive in my life.


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Sing, sing a song…
						

			 / markmkane						 / Leave a comment
								

			


		

		
singing mike


At one point in all our lives, we’ve either lip synced to or sang along with a song that was blaring on the radio, Ipod or CD player.  For the brief 3-4 minutes we were all rock stars singing in front of tens of thousands of our adoring fans.  We relished in the thought of being the center of attention, the crème de la crème of pure entertainment.  It’s a fantasy that we’ve all undoubtedly played out in our mind’s eye.


As a young kid I enjoyed singing as do most children.  At that age of innocence, we all unabashedly sang out loud to our hearts content regardless of who was around our immediate vicinity.  It didn’t matter if we got the words wrong, we made up new ones just to keep the flow going.  We actually wanted people to hear us; we wanted the spotlight so that we could receive the self-gratifying accolades of all the adults.


Any chance I had, I would burst out into a song; my dad would encourage that habit by recording me and then playing it back to my delight.  At that age I honestly can say that I could carry a tune.




As the years wore on and I got older, my singing in public became less and less.  There was no reason to my recollection as to why it decreased but it happened.  I then graduated to singing in the confines of my room to my favorite songs.  I truly enjoyed it; it even spurred on dreams of becoming a songwriter.  On a daily basis, and in true merriment, I held “one night only” performances.


I even went as far as recording how I sounded acapella style to one of my favorite songs; it was pitchy, out of tune and I realized I was tone deaf.  That put a dash into my dreams of becoming a singer, but that was okay because I still had my “bedroom gig.”


When college rolled around, karaoke bars were slowly popping up.  My friends wanted to go to one because that was the “rage” at the time for all the college students.  To satisfy my self-indulgence, I went along thinking that this was going to be great.  To live out a fantasy even if it was in front of my friends; how bad could it be, I bet they sound just like me.


My experience with a karaoke bar did not go as I intended it.  I soon realized that most of, if not all my friends could sing “well”; and some even had vibrato voices.  My future wife was a part of this group and she had an amazing voice as well.  I truly felt intimidated.  When it came to my turn to sing a song, anxiety set in.


Thoughts started to pop into my mind.


“How am I going to sound among my friends who had the ability to sing well?”


“How come I didn’t know they had such great voices?”


“I don’t even have a great voice to command an applause.”


“What’ll they be thinking when they hear my voice?”


The list went on and on.


When the mike was placed in my hand and I froze.  The song came on and all that my voice could conjure up was a whisper.  I could barely finish the song.


After that incident I didn’t want to be in that predicament again, so I decided to take voice lessons.  It was a sign of hope that I wouldn’t be afraid and it would build my confidence.  It took a lot of courage for me to take private lessons but I overcame them.  I felt good, empowered even.  Should the day come when I would revisit a karaoke bar, I’d be ready.


The day came to showcase my newfound confidence, with having voice lessons and all.  My friends went and all sang beautifully; that did not help my confidence one bit.  When it was my turn, the same thoughts popped into my head.  The body was willing to give it a go but my mind had other plans.  All I could do was whisper the song in a semi-sing song fashion; my friends joined in to boost my confidence.  When that happened, I went into lip sync mode and finished the song.


Suffice to say, it was another terrible experience that brought me down to reality.  I could never in my wildest dreams be a singer.  It even put a damper on my private performances; just could not enjoy my “bedroom gig” anymore.


That ended my stint with singing altogether.  To this day, I won’t even sing “Happy Birthday” out loud…I’ll only do the lip sync version of it with a group of people.  The only bright spot in all of this is that my daughter has a great singing voice with a fearless attitude…I can vicariously live out my fantasy whenever she sings.


It was fun while it lasted…my daughter can now take the reins from me. Now onto my next lifelong fantasy…being a hip hop, B-Boy dancer!


bdancing