My Wedding Vow…

My life had no meaning

it was desolate and blue,

darkness consumed me

until I met you.

The times spent with you

gave me a feeling so great –

it felt like paradise

had just opened its gate.

Your warmth and your kindness

that you eagerly gave,

my belief in your love –

my life you have saved.

Your faith in me was strong

through the good and the bad,

you gave of your love

made me appreciate what I had.

Your lovely voice,

your warm tender smile

the presence of your beauty

makes love all the worth while.

This feeling for you

is so hard to convey,

to pick one true meaning

would be unjustly to say.

My spirit soars

when your presence is near,

“YOU”…the love of my life

gives me reason to cheer.

To have you as a partner in life

is a great honor for me,

and eternity in heaven

is what our lives will always be.

1st Anniversary

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I can’t believe that one year ago I started a blog…ME of all people.  At the behest of my manager, Alexia, I needed to create a blog site to promote myself on social media.  She’s such a savy person when it comes to that so who am I to argue.

When I set up my journey on creating my site, I was a complete novice.  No experience whatsoever.  There were times when I felt like I needed to hire someone to do this for me so that I can skip all the clutter and get to the details of just writing.

I am so glad that I opted to do this on my own.  It was rough at first but soon I got the hang of the process it took to set up a site I could call my own.  Yes, you can truly “teach an old dog new tricks.”  I am in no way an expert yet but I’m still in the process of  learning all the intricacies to fixing my blog site to get it to how I want.

Once I got something up, the question was what was I going to write.  I had no clue as to what direction I was going to take.  I perused other sites and soaked in what they had to offer; soon I got to thinking that I should just write about whatever I felt like I needed to convey to anyone who would stumble across my site.

I wrote about anything and everything, my experiences, my family, my children, my pets, being a screenwriter, writing in general, poetry, what it took to be a writer, about life, pet peeves, being an eternal optimist, trying to be positive and so on and so forth.

It didn’t matter what I wrote I just needed to write.  And I made a promise that I would write something each week regardless if it was eloquent or rough around the edges.  I just needed to write.  I made this promise to myself and I intended to keep it.

Well, it’s been a year and I’m proud to say that I’ve written something every week.  I’ve kept my promise and will continue to do so until I decide otherwise.  In the scheme of things, I felt like being a blogger was therapeutic.  I got to sound off about a lot of things and was most satisfied that I got to share it…even if no one read it.  Writing was writing after all and I am trying to better myself in this craft that I love.

I’m happy I started this journey and am truly excited to see where I’ll be next year.  The future is unwritten and I’m looking forward seeing how my site will grow.  I am honored to be one of the millions of bloggers in this world expressing myself through my site.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To Blog or Not To Blog

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With my one year anniversary of have a blog site coming up, I looked back and wondered what would’ve been if I didn’t start this venture.

Before I started all of this, I had a few misconceptions about bloggers.  The three things that stuck out were: ONE – it was easy to create a site, TWO – everyone was doing it to become famous and THREE – you needed to be an expert on a subject to post things about.

I strongly resisted the urge to be a part of this because I thought that I’d be wasting my time that should otherwise be devoted to my screenwriting craft.

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For years I continued to pursue my dreams and had forgotten all about blogging.  One fateful day my manager, who’s VERY social media savvy, recommended that I create a blog site and put myself out there and promote myself and my stories.

“Oh great…GRRR…do I really have to do this!?” I thought with disgust.  I procrastinated in starting this new journey and was making all kinds of excuses in my head as to why I’ll never enjoy this.

Apprehension was always in the background when I started to do research on how to start a blog site.  I engrossed myself in any and all available info that was accessible; soon that hesitation started to diminish and a sense of wonderment and encouragement set in.

The thought that “You know what, I really think I can do this” popped into my brain and my mindset was that I was now “ALL IN.”

When I first started, I thought that I was going to have my site up in a couple of hours and would be posting on it soon after.

Boy was I wrong.  Creating a blog site was not easy and creating one that would fit my needs was even more daunting.  It took a couple of months to get it to suit my needs but it still is a work in progress.

Once I got my site up and running, the next step was posting to it.  What was I going to write?  How long should it be?  What if no one likes it?  All these thoughts and more started to creep in and anxiety set in.  Damn…whatever I write will be out there for all to see; that was a scary feeling.

Despite all my fears, I “manned up” and published my first post.  That wasn’t so bad.  A week after that I posted another story on something mundane.  The following week it was a random post about my kids.

I started reading all the other bloggers out there and was surprised (and relieved) at what I found.  My fellow bloggers were posting about a lot of things: their experiences, historical accounts, traveling, writing, pets, friends, foods, anything and everything.

It was amazing to see the cornucopia of topics bloggers everywhere talked about.  Some of the writing were eloquent, while others were simple and straightforward; it was quite refreshing reading all of this.

Some wrote to just get things off their chest, while others wrote in hopes of helping others; I connected with people whom I never me all because of their posting.  I connected with people whom I never met all because of their posts.  It was truly AMAZING!

The more I wrote, the more I felt comfortable.  When I got my first “LIKE” and “Comment”, I was ecstatic to the point where I jumped off my chair and danced around like a giddy child on Christmas day.

This encouraged me to continue on and write on subjects that I would never even think of.  I ventured into other types of writing that even helped my style of writing. 

“What was I so afraid of?” I thought.  Fast track to a year later, my mindset now is “I should’ve started blogging years ago.” 

For anyone that is thinking about starting a blog, all I can say is “GO FOR IT!”  It’s a way to get yourself out there and share what you have to offer to others.  You’ll be interested to find that there are others that share your same dreams, feelings, experiences, passion and humor.

Don’t be afraid.  The only question that you should ask yourself is whether…”To Blog or Not To Blog.”

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What the future holds

As each day passes

and your future draws near,

the answers to all your questions

may still be unclear

The solutions you seek

aren’t really hard to find,

just look within yourself

and your problems will be left behind

The same goes in life

as you grow old each day,

the more wiser you become

in each and every way

You learn to be patient,

you learn to be kind,

you become more trusting 

by using your heart with your mind

When the years go by

and you gracefully grow old,

use your acquired wisdom

and you’ll have a heart of gold.

What’s In A Name?

“What’s in a name?

It’s most difficult to tell

because it’s intangible

it has no sight, taste or smell

What’s in a name?

Is it a reflection of you?

Does it reveal your true nature

or display something new?

What’s in a name?

What can it do?

Will it give you prestige

or cause embarrassment to you

What’s in a name?

That’s most difficult to see

A name is a name

most people will agree

But a name is not a name

for something special is there

I’ll reveal to you the answer

for all of you to share

The name that was given

to you specifically at birth

was to give you individuality

on this big planet Earth.”

Fear is the mind-killer.

A quote that I often harken back to frequently in my life comes from Frank Herbert, writer of Dune.  In it there’s a quote:

“I must not fear.  Fear is the mind-killer.  Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.  I will face my fear.  I will permit it to pass over me and through me.  And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.  Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.  Only I will remain.”

The only part of the quote that is deeply embedded within my consciousness is “Fear is the mind-killer.”

That phrase always seem to pop into my head when it comes to the sudden interruptions that happen within my mundane life.  Things that I can’t control or the unknown puts me in a dazed and confused state; all rational thoughts become obscure within my psyche.

People around my usually give that same old advice, “Don’t worry about what you can’t control.”  “It’ll be okay if you just don’t think about it.”  “Everything’s gonna be fine.”

Now there are some people, the “lucky ones”,  that can glaze over these little bumps and carry on with their life, but I for one am not one of these chosen few.

Every time a “worst case scenario” presents itself, I lose all sense of myself.  Anxiety sets in and soon after fear creeps in and overtakes all of my waking thoughts.  My eternal optimistic nature just ups and leaves me fending for my life and its worth.

I tend to overthink things; I start to run every possible, and horrific, scenario in my head on how this situation, accident or illness will end.  I know that it’s not good to think like this and it certainly is not good for my health but I’m just a worrier at heart.

I just can’t seem to see the bright side of things and that’s getting me frustrated.  Only seeing the negative outcomes rather than the positive is truly destructive in nature.

To quote William Faulkner, “Fear is the most damnable, damaging thing to human personality in the whole world.”

I really believe in that but I’ve come to a point in my life where I’m just fed up feeling like this.  I know that I’m better than this and it really is true “Life is too short.”

Every time a hiccup presents itself in my life, no matter how bad, I stop to reflect how far I’ve come in life and take comfort in knowing that there are others in the world that are going through the same thing but in different degrees.  Sometimes we encounter a second, a third or even a fourth situation on top of what we’re originally dealing with.

I take stock in my family and friends and a sense of gratitude sets in.  Their smiling faces and unwavering support helped me get through the “rough times”.  It was a battle that was hard fought but I survived.  In all those instances I thought it was the worst thing ever to happen in my life, but I somehow managed to come out alright.

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Being positive in light of all the craziness that’s happening around us is a fight in itself but the results will only help to benefit our well-being.

Yes, there will be some rough patches in life where it gets solved quickly and stress free; I will treasure those the most.  And I know that there will be arduous times when the struggle will be an ongoing one with no relief in sight, but I’m training myself to see that glimmer of light at the end of that long tunnel.

No matter how dire the situation is, we really need to rely on our family and friends.  We need to get into that mindset where we should not go through this “rough patch” alone.  That is why I’m trying to adopt a new quote, Remember the 3 P’s to combat that “Fear is the mind-killer” lodged within my mind.

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 Staying Patient, Positive and Persisting on will help me get through any and all future obstacles life throws at me.  I will tackle it head on and be victorious!

Accentuate the positive.

 

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I always try to have a positive outlook on life; you know trying to have the mindset “Things always happen for a reason”, “God has a plan for you” and “When one door closes, another one opens.”  Being an eternal optimist is what I strive for, especially in the world we live where constant negativity surrounds us.  Staying positive is the key to have a productive life.  It enables us to be invincible and have that mentality that anything is possible; it’s what fuels us to pursue our wildest dreams no matter what.  It’s a strong driving force that knows no bounds.  Being positive endows us with unlimited energy to endure when others give up.

But there are times when it’s just plain difficult to stay on that path, I’m only human after all.  Granted there are days when despair and frustration sets in and it just kills the fight in me.  It beats me to a pulp and spits out every ounce of optimism left in my fiber.  When this happens I turn into what I despise the most…negative comments start spewing out of my mouth like there’s no tomorrow.  At times it feels as if a lot of pent up pessimism and gloomy thoughts overcome rational thinking; like a narcotic drug taking hold of an unwilling host.  Let me tell you once you get a taste of it, it’s easy to become addicted.  You vent to one person and another and another; it brings them down and they start to spout unfavorable things to other people.  I can truly understand how it can spread like a virus causing a pandemic.

Luckily we all have someone or a group of people that will listen to us, show compassion, tell us like it is or give sage advices.  It’s in those instances where our sense of optimism gets reinvigorated; we start to feel like a heel for being negative in the first place.  I can honestly say that without that crucial support system, I would be a constant mess roaming the streets and contributing to the downfall of our society.  No matter how bad things get, my positivity will always win out over the battle with negativity.  It’s a war that is continually waged inside of me; I accept that as a part of life. 

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Staying positive takes time and truly requires A LOT of skill.  You just need to carefully maneuver through all the detrimental obstacles and maintain a sense of balance within yourself and time with your family and friends.  I’m at that stage in my life where I learned to appreciate what I have instead of what I don’t.  It’s easy to overlook what’s around you so I take the time each day to reflect on all the good things surrounding me.  Basking in that makes me feel as if I’ve won the lottery. 

I’m grateful for my wonderful family and friends that are my support system; they’re the glimmer of hope that appear at the end of the tunnel whenever hardships are occurring throughout my life. 

 If we all can find that support system the enables our positive side to exude our being, then the world would be a little less chaotic and negative.  I’ll do my part to try and spread a little bit of optimism to those I come in contact with; until then I will try to accentuate the positive in my life.

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