Midlife Reflections

When It Feels Scary To Jump…

/ markmkane / 6 Comments

While channel surfing couple years ago, I happened upon a channel that featured a 2014 movie called “A Most Violent Year”.  Although I consider myself a movie buff, I’ve never really heard of this movie until that one fateful day.  I won’t tell you what the plot was because I stumbled upon it and really didn’t watch it till the end.  But I did happen upon a scene where a man by the name of Abel Morales said “When it feels scary to jump, that is exactly when you jump, otherwise you end up staying in the same place your whole life.”

This one line totally resonated with me and I just had to write it down.  I turned off the TV and soaked in those words.  I took it to heart and it quickly became etched within my subconscious.  You could almost say that I had an epiphany of some sorts.

This one quote, this one line from a movie I have never seen told me that in life, you need to take chances regardless of the outcome.  There are times when you’ll succeed and there are times when you’ll fail, but you must learn from it in order to grow into the person that you were meant to be.  Life is too short to play is safe, it needs to be explored with eyes wide open.  Life if full of endless possibilities with the potential to be great.

I took this to heart and felt that I needed to try anything even if it took me out of my comfort zone.  I lived by the code of being open to different things; doing so would broaden my horizons both mentally and physically.  Living by this way of thinking helped me to try different things; just facing the impossible or the uncomfortable with complete abandonment.  Living this way made me realize that to do these things require both strength and faith; the will to pursue what your heart desires with the self-confidence to know that you’ll achieve something positive from it regardless of the results.

Ever since then, I’ve been bestowed with nothing but great outcomes.  I dared to take a chance and came out a winner so to speak; I count my blessings everyday for doing so.  So if you are faced with doing something that takes you out of your comfort zone, go all in and bet on yourself.  The first step will be scary, terrifying even…but the end results will be much more rewarding.  Take that leap and dare to be great!

The End of an Era

/ markmkane / 13 Comments

A1

When all things must come to an end

How do you say goodbye

to the friendships formed through years of…

laughter,

good times,

rough patches,

sorrow,

arguments

The bond that was created was unique,

one that can never be broken

A rapport that can never be extinguished

Is it possible to find that in the unknown?

A place where

you’re new,

vulnerable,

scared

Is there hope in finding

that special connection

with another person again?

One who’ll share

Your smiles,

sadness,

concerns,

fears,

joy,

You can never go back,

you can only cherish that special memory

of a past that you can no longer relive

You can only be grateful,

appreciative,

and carry on

By the grace of God,

with some luck,

you’ll stumble upon a new era

and experience new things

that will resemble the past.

How Do You Let Go

/ markmkane / 6 Comments

A1

How do you let go…

when for so long

your heart was

full of life,

had an abundance of joy,

content in all things

How do you let go…

when you know it’s time

but your heart and mind are

conflicted,

in pain,

lost in a sea of confusion

When it’s scary,

that’s when you jump

When your strength

is fueled by faith

When you take a chance,

see the world with eyes wide open

and dare to be great

That’s when you know…

it’s time to let go.

Midlife Reflections #4

/ markmkane / 11 Comments

A9

How do you deal with change?  Especially the life changing ones.  This has been weighing on my mind the past couple of days.  In the past, when I was much younger, this was never a concern; in fact I enjoyed experiencing change.

As I got older, I got married, had children, found a secure job. I found a daily routine that made my life simple.  I was content with the way things were in my life and for a person that likes control…I was in heaven.

Now all of a sudden, I’m changing jobs. Going from a good paying job to something that is much less but with great benefits.  On top of that, opportunities are presenting themselves to where my passion, my dream, can become a reality.

My younger self would’ve been thrilled with what’s going on.  Welcoming the change, the unpredictability.  But my present self and my current state of mind is a bit hesitant.  Don’t get me wrong, a part of me is really excited but three quarters of me is not.  Fearing the unknown is truly terrifying.

A7

You would’ve thought that through all my years, all of my accumulated experiences would prepare me for this.  But it never does.  The only thing that I’ve learned was that sometimes you got to take a leap of faith into the unknown.

It might work out, it might not.  It’s a chance that I have to take.  I’ve always learn to bet on myself to endure whatever life threw at me.  It’s so cliché to say this, but as long as my family and friends are there for support, advice and guidance, change can be bearable.

A6

It’s a given that change will always happen.  We will always be both excited and scared from it but we should have the confidence in ourselves to know that we’ll get through it.  Possibilities for great things are there if we just take a chance.

A4

The Cycle of Goodness

/ markmkane / 14 Comments

A1

When you perform a good deed for someone, whether it be family, friend or stranger, their look of expression exhibits gratitude.  Their appreciation for your generosity and kindness in giving of yourself and your time is reciprocated with a smile, a kiss, a hug, a handshake or words of thanks and praise.

And it’s a good feeling; it gives us a sense of self-satisfaction and prideful joy.  Because it feels good, almost intoxicating, we tend to do more good deeds.  As for the recipient of your actions, their positive experience compels them to try and do the same for others.  Spreading the wealth of selflessness…that’s the cycle of goodness.

A3

It’s the power to connect with people and let them know that there is good in the world and in everyone’s heart.  Seeing all those happy people and their smiles, truly makes one proud.  You can never forget the look on a person’s face when they express sincere gratitude and acknowledgement.

When we share an experience, a positive one at that, we form bonds.  Perpetuating the cycle of goodness, that’s the bond…the synergy of doing something exceptional for someone in a selfless manner.

We can all incorporate this into our daily lives.  A simple act can go a long way for someone in need.  We must never forget the power of the human heart…goodness is the key that can link the hearts of many.

A2

 

Midlife Reflections #3

/ markmkane / 16 Comments

A1

The past couple of days, I’ve pondered on my life’s journey and what it took to get me here today.  It was a smooth ride that had numerous speed bumps and detours along the way.

I’ve had days when I hit the jackpot and everything went my way; even my mistakes and miscues resulted in a favorable outcome.

AND THEN there were those days where anything and everything went horribly wrong; where life put me in a loop and a series of jokes slapped me in the face one after another.

Regardless of what kind of day, week, month or year I had, I somehow survived; I lived to tell the tale and more often than not, I remembered in detail all of the good that I encountered.

Throughout all of my life’s experiences, I’ve come to the realization that sometimes my greatest memory can be my worst enemy.  Relishing and reminiscing about all those happy times brought about a false sense of thinking; that everything would result in something wonderful.

It was good to have a positive outlook but I needed to embrace all the bad that happened in my life wholeheartedly.  With every failed attempt I grew closer to success.

With much introspection, I’ve learned to value everything that crossed my path.  It helped me to be strong, wise, compassionate, focused, determined and grateful.  Life is way too short, so “Find the beauty in every moment” and bring out the best in yourself.

Midlife Reflections #2

/ markmkane / 5 Comments

A1

I look back on my life and take stock in what I’ve done and who I’ve become.  The one thing that I take most pride in is my ability to be a good listener.

A2

I’ve always felt that if a person takes the time to tell you something of importance, then you should respect that and give your undivided attention to what he/she has to say.  I try to listen without judgement and really hear the other person’s words.

A4

 

Too many times we’ve had and “A & B” conversation with someone but somehow ended up with “B” starting another conversation with “C & D” who just happened to pass by.  At that point, you kind of feel irrelevant and try to uncomfortably slink away without being noticed.

In my case, I stay there like a complete doofus because of some sort of self-responsibility to finish what was started.  AND when “B” returns back to the original conversation, the whole vibe is gone.

In my mind’s eye, I felt as if I was not important enough to hold your attention when I was unloading my feelings, advice and thoughts.

It is for that reason, in any conversation, that I look the other person in the eye and soak in what they’re telling me even if an outside party acknowledges me.  My focus on the person is steadfast.  This art of listening is something that I’m trying to instill in my children.

A3

As the days and months go by, life seems to tick away as if it were mere seconds on a clock.  Time is precious.  So when someone needs to talk to you, be there for them…and listen as if they’re the only person left on this planet.

A5

 

Midlife Reflections

/ markmkane / 6 Comments

A7

Back when I was much younger and starting out in the workforce, I used to think that a good paying job was the endgame to being happy and successful in life.  All that consumed me was trying to work for a company where I could climb that corporate ladder to a six figure salary; I was young, naive and dreamed big.  Little did I know that “all that glitters is not gold”.

I’ve seen people in good paying jobs but miserable as heck.  And I’ve seen the opposite, some in okay paying jobs but loving every minute of it.

Regardless of pay, we need to be happy in our jobs.  Why you may ask?  Since we spend three-quarters of the day at our place of employment, it stands to show that it’s like our second home with our second family.

If we can’t be happy there, then those feelings sometimes get transposed into our home lives.  We may not do that intentionally but it happens.  Life is too short to be miserable and stressed out.

In my current stage in life, I’ve come to the realization that life is meant to be enjoyed to its fullest.  After enduring the trials and tribulations of working many jobs, I only now know that if you’re not happy or enjoying what you do, find something that will.  Better late than never, right?

A5

This newfound wisdom is something that I impart on my children constantly.  So the next time you’re out job hunting, rather than asking yourself “how much does it pay?”, ponder on whether it’s something that you would “love” or “enjoy” doing for the rest of your life.  If you choose to follow the latter path, the pay will come.  Work for love, not money.

A6