A Tribute to Harold

Although my friend has long passed, for some reason I was thinking about him today and wished that my children could’ve met him.  I wrote a poem about him that best describes what he meant to me.

We were young and so new

when we started work at the store,

learning the business fast

was really a chore

We were clumsy, awkward,

and a little bit naive,

but you put your faith in us

and made us believe

In time we grew smart

with each passing day,

you lent us your wisdom

through the stories you say

In you we saw a role model

with all the qualities of the heart,

you were generous, kind, humorous, helpful

to all of us from the start

Though you left us way too early

your traits in us were sown

Let one message come to mind

and let it be known

We wish you the best in Heaven

in whatever you do,

We give you our love

and will surely miss you

So here is our gift,

so special, so true,

It symbolizes our love

to a friend we found in you.

What Is Love?

Some write songs

of love old and new,

others write books

of love so grand and true

But songs and books cannot describe

the real true meaning of love,

a love that comes from inside

From within the heart

a certain feeling grows,

it cannot be hid

for through your action it shows

It’s seen in the eyes 

of both the young and old

It’s shown through their smile

that’s pure and gold

If everyone had one wish

they’d probably say,

“Love stay with me forever,

never go away.”

 

Our “Special” Gift

I always marvel at the fact that we, as writers, can conjure up practically anything we desire with our writing.  We come up with the most creative stories, the most enticing screenplays, the most eloquent poetry and the most humorous prose.

 No two stories, poems, blog posts or screenplays are alike.  Yes they may have the same idea or premise but the way it is executed on page and presented to the reader is very individualistic.  Our inner voice comes through our choice of words and how we arrange them and the reader is fortunate to choose which voice he or she best relates to.aa8

 We really have a gift if you think about it and we choose to share it with others in hopes of educating them, inspiring them, entertaining them and even provoking critical thought among them.  Our passion has no bounds.

 The world, our experiences, our family, our friends and random conversation overheard is our muse.  We get a spark and it gestates in our subconscious mind until it is ready to flow freely onto our computer screens.

AND some of the stuff that we come up with is totally mind-boggling.  As writers, we choose to ignore the plausible and go with what our inner voice is screaming at us to write.  Just imagine if we put limitations on ourselves and our creativity, you know how boring our concepts would be.

 Every day I thank God that I’m able to write something that at least someone, somewhere would enjoy reading.  I might not be the most creative, eloquent or concise writer but I write how I feel and that’s all that truly matters; I think that this is the common thread that is prevalent among all of my fellow peers.

 Writing is our craft, our voice…and our desire to share it with the world regardless of the outcome is admirable don’t you think. aa4

 When I started as a writer, I came across a poem that really spoke to me.  Unfortunately it was written anonymously and I lost my only copy of it.  But I remembered a portion from that particular poem that I took to heart and I want to share it with all of my fellow writing colleagues – all you screenwriters, poets, bloggers, story tellers:

 “Writing is a gift

given to few,

Don’t ever give it up

or you won’t be you”

How Time Flies

Today as I am writing this blog, I am in complete shock at the fact that my daughter is turning 16 years old today (AND also at the fact that I’m someone’s dad).  I truly cannot believe that my first born child is slowly growing into a young woman.  This is the very child whom I cradled in my arms in the wee morning hours trying to get her to sleep. 

Yes I know that it’s inevitable, but I’m amazed at how time flew by.  It’s as if I’m in a water tube slide and the laws of physics temporarily sped up; all the events that I shared with my daughter were merely subconscious flashbacks appearing before my eyes as I descended to the bottom. 

 “WOW!!!” is all I can say.  To see this strong, intelligent and ambitious girl attaining goals and dreams that I would never dare to do is completely mind-boggling…maybe I’m awed at that fact that I share DNA genes with her.  Every day I am surprised at what she is capable of doing and am truly proud.

 I guess the whole point of this post is just me reflecting on the past and how I relish my experiences as a parent with my children.  I’m not the best parent in the world but I’m definitely not the worst by any means.  I’ve made a lot of mistakes along the way and grew as a person, but I feel like I did an okay job.

 I look forward toward the future and am anxiously awaiting for my daughter and son to astonish me, whether it be something big or something small.  It is because of them that I am inspired to do things and explore things that will surprise them as well.  Hopefully along the way I can slow down time and defy the laws of physics to savor every moment.

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All That You Are

Are you the answer to my question?

Could it be you my love?

It makes me crazy wondering

if it’s you that’s my true love?

You give so much of yourself

to remind me that love is near

To search the feeling within my heart

will make it crystal clear

You’re the person, my answer,

my one and only love

You’re a gift sent special to me

straight from heaven above

To find an answer to true love

I needn’t go to far

For your heart reflects true love within and…

All that you are

Your sweet, caring smile

your warm and honest face

the caress of your loving hands

your soft and gentle embrace

You opened up my eyes

and turned my life around

You made me see true beauty,

showed me new joys abound

All because of you-

my dreams are close at hand,

my life is much more clearer,

my love is oh so grand

The warmth and kindness that you gave,

the strength you instilled in me,

your heart and soul is with me now-

with you I’ll always be

I’ve never known anyone

who could do these things to me,

You’ve shown me what love’s all about

you’ve taught the blind to see

The reflection in your eyes show me

that together, our love will go far,

for love reflects true beauty and…

All that you are

You’re a gift that’s truly priceless,

an angel from above

a heart filled with true beauty,

with an endless supply of love

All that you are,

all because of you,

my love has found a special place

my dearest, I love you.

The Reason

finding-the-one

All my life, I’ve lived so alone

searched and failed each time,

so many hearts drifting alone

not one to call my own

The feeling of love was all but a dream

seen in the eyes of others,

hearts that will share, eyes that show care

as only between two lovers

Since you walked into my life

my faith has grown so strong

my view of love is much clearer now

with you is where I belong

You’re the reason how my life is lived

and this I know is true

There can only be one love for me

cause love was found in you

You taught me things in life

and I have learned to give –

to loneliness I bid sweet adieu

The love that has filled me body and soul

is all because of you

You’re the reason – my heart I give

my love’s now alive and free

For you are my one and only love,

you are the one just for me.

Forever With You

A twinkling in your eyes I see

in the darkness of the night,

all hurt and pain has left me now

cause I’ve finally seen the light

I don’t know how I’ve gone this far

without really knowing you,

my life has suddenly taken a turn

everything seems so new

In your eyes I see a vision,

in my heart I know it’s true

this feeling that grows from deep within

is all because of you

You’re all that I’m longing for

You’re all my dreams come true

My life would be so complete

If I could spend forever with you

It’s amazing how love really works

it’s astonishing to see,

You, out of all the strangers in the world

that was truly meant for me

Love is purely magical

in each and every way,

If my heart had a mind of its own

this is what it’ll say:

“Do you believe in magic?

I hope you really do,

cause the love that stirs from deep within

is all because of you

No part of me will let you go

You’re all my dreams come true

My life would be so complete

If I could spend forever with you”

I believe in love because

it’s special and so true,

cause it found it’s place within my heart

and I owe it all to you

I’ll always be there, by your side

You’re all my dreams come true

My love will you let me spend –

Forever With You.

A Bike For All Ages

In the town of Panville, there lived a young boy named Skylar.  He was no ordinary boy…he was a PAPERBOY!

You’re thinking, “What’s so great about that?!”  Well, it’s not the fact that he was a paperboy that was so amazing, but HOW he delivered the newspapers.

The whole neighborhood would watch and wait for Skylar to ride by on his “Commodore” bike.

You could tell the bike was old. Rust spots here and there, chipped paint, dings and dents were the things that gave Commodore character.  And when Skylar rode it, they moved as one.  It was pure magic.

Skylar could do things on his bike that others only dreamed of.  He was able to jump over tall fences, spin in mid-air and move around obstacles with ease.  When delivering newspapers, people would watch and be amazed at his spectacular riding performance.

The people on his route would always marvel at his feats.

Mrs. Smith enjoyed when Skylar hopped on one wheel over her rose garden and throw the paper right on her doorstep.

Mr. Payne clapped loudly whenever Skylar did a somersault over his fish pond and handed him the paper.

Little Suzie would cheer every time Skylar soared over her like a bird.

There was nothing that Skylar and his Commodore bike couldn’t do.

One day while on his route, he noticed a new family moving into his neighborhood.  As the people unloaded their things, he saw a boy off to the side unpacking a long rectangular box with the name Quicksilver on it.

This caught Skylar’s attention, so he continued to watch the boy.

Out of the box came a shiny silver bike.  The boy hopped on it and took off down the street.  He whizzed by Skylar so fast that he was almost a blur.  Skylar was truly impressed.

A few seconds later, the boy returned and skidded to a stop next to Skylar.

“Hi, I’m Frankie.  What’s yours?” said the new boy.

“Skylar.”

Skylar stared at Frankie’s Quicksilver and then looked at his Commodore bike; he felt embarrassed.

Frankie asked “Hey, wanna race?”

Knowing how fast Frankie could ride, Skylar declined.

“Then how’s about we play follow the leader?” said Frankie.

Skylar thought that was something he could easily do.  “Sure why not” he replied.

“Great, I’ll go first.  Follow me” said Frankie.

The two boys took off with Frankie in the lead.

Up one street, down another.  Around one block, then another and another.  Skylar pedaled hard and fast but was not able to keep up with Frankie’s Quicksilver.

Frankie was so far ahead that Skylar simply gave up.

Skylar looked at his Commodore, “Why can’t you be fast like that!  You’re old, I need a new bike.  Maybe a new one like Quicksilver.”  With that, he rode home.

Bright and early the next morning, Skylar leaped out of bed and made dash for his piggy bank.  Just then, Skylar’s mom popped her head into his room, “What’re you doing?”

“I’m going to buy a new bike.”

“What’s wrong with the one you have now?” asked his mom.

Skylar answered firmly, “It’s not a Quicksilver.”

“Do you have enough saved up?” asked his mom.

“YES!” Skylar exclaimed.

“Okay then, I’ll take you down to the bike shop.”

“Thanks” said Skylar who was busy counting his money.

A few hours later, Skylar came down the street on his brand new Quicksilver.  He saw Frankie and rode up to him.

“Hey, you got a bike just like mine” said Frankie.

“Yeah, isn’t that great!  Now I can go just as fast as you.  Wanna play follow the leader?” Skylar said in eagerness.

“Sure” responded Frankie.

“Okay, but this time…I’ll lead” Skylar extolled.

The two boys took off down the street and up another.  Around one block, then another and another.

Skylar could not believe the speed of Quicksilver.  He was truly excited.  After a fun-filled day of follow the leader, Skylar went home.

He pulled into his garage and parked Quicksilver next to Commodore.  He patted Quicksilver’s seat and said, “Boy, I’m glad I got you.  You’re fast, can’t wait to use you on my route tomorrow.”

As night fell, the two bikes came alive.

Commodore moved closer to Quicksilver.  “Hi I’m Commodore, what’s your name?”

Quicksilver moved away and answered in a fast paced tone.  “Be careful…vroom, vroom, vroom…I don’t want any dirt on my new paint.”

“You sure move fast” Commodore noted.

“You bet…vroom, vroom, vroom.”

“Guess that’s why Skylar likes you.  Can you do any tricks?” inquired Commodore.

“Who needs to do trick when you can move like me…vroom, vroom, vroom” said Quicksilver.

“I guess you’ll be able to help Skylar finish his paper route in no time.  No wonder he wanted you” Commodore said in a sad tone.

“Yep…vroom, vroom, vroom…I was built for speed.  Now if you don’t mind I need my rest so I can have energy to go fast tomorrow.”

“Oh okay.  Good night” and with that a depressed Commodore moved back to his spot.

The next day came and Skylar burst into the garage with a bag full of newspapers.  He carefully got onto Quicksilver, making sure not to scratch the paint.

“All right, I’ll finish my route in no time.  This’ll be great!”

With that, off he went.  VROOM, VROOM, VROOM, SWOOSH.  Wind blowing in his face, hair flapping wildly about.  Skylar liked the feeling of going fast.

The neighborhood knew it was time and waited anxiously for Skylar’s arrival.

SWOOSH! Skylar came charging down the street and readied the papers for his neighbors.  Along the way, he noticed something different but couldn’t quite figure out what it was.

As he approached Mrs. Smith’s house, he tried to leap over her rose garden but Quicksilver would not budge.

CRUNCH!  Quicksilver travelled so fast that it flattened Mrs. Smith’s rose garden and caused Skylar to send her newspaper crashing through her window.

Mrs. Smith was shocked, “OH NO! MY PRECIOUS FLOWERS!”

Skylar was moving so fast that he could not stop to apologize.

He sped onto his next destination: Mr. Payne.

“Vroom, vroom, vroom” was the only sound coming from Quicksilver.

“Something’s wrong” noted Skylar as he drew closer to Mr. Payne’s fish pond.

“Time to do our somersault over the fish pond” thought Skylar, “Don’t mess up.”

No good.  SPLASH! Skylar and Quicksilver went through the fish pond, dowsing Mr. Payne with water and hitting him in the head with the paper in the process.

Mr. Payne rubbed his bruised head and in shock ran towards his pond, “OH NO! MY POOR FISH!”

Skylar was too far away and moving way too fast to say sorry.

Skylar soon thought to himself, “This is not going well.  I’d better stop and walk the rest of my route before I wreck something else.”

He applied the brakes but Quicksilver would not stop.  He tried again and again and again but nothing happened.  It’s as if Quicksilver had a mind of its own.

“Why won’t you stop?!” wondered Skylar.

The only sound coming from Quicksilver was “Vroom, vroom, vroom!”

Skylar and Quicksilver sped down the street and was soon coming upon little Suzie’s house.

Suzie was waving at Skylar in total excitement, “Yea, Skylar’s coming! Yea!”

“Holy cow!” exclaimed a worried Skylar.  He frantically pressed on the brake REAL HARD but nothing happened.

Quicksilver raced towards little Suzie.

“Vroom, vroom, vroom!”

He motioned to Suzie and yelled “GET OUT OF THE WAY!” but she was too busy cheering to hear.  She was in real danger.

As he fast approached little Suzie, Skylar needed to take action.  His eyes scanned the area for an answer to his problem.

“THAT’S IT!” Skylar barely managed to avoid hitting little Suzie by veering into a small stone wall.

“VROOM, VROOM, VROOM!”

As the wall fast approached, Skylar held onto the bike’s handle bars and propped his on the seat.  He readied himself for impact.

“Get ready, five…four…three…two…one…” he leaped off.  KA-BLAM! Quicksilver crashed into the wall as Skylar soared into the air like a bird.

KER-PLASH! He landed square into a neighbor’s swimming pool.

Little Suzie ran and peered over the wall, “WOW, THAT WAS NEAT!  DO IT AGAIN!  DO IT AGAIN!”

“No thanks, once was enough for me” sighed a drenched Skylar.  He hopped over the wall and took in the sight of his once brand new Quicksilver bike.

Pieces of it lay all over.  One tire here, another tire there, handle bar bent, pedals broken off, bike chain lodged in crack of the wall and seat hanging on a nearby shrub.

In the middle of all this mess, lay a scratched up and warped frame.

Skylar shakes his head and gathers up what was once Quicksilver.  He trudges back home.

“What a day, I’m beat.”  Tired from a long day of chaos, Skylar tosses Quicksilver’s parts into the garage next to Commodore and goes into the house.

Commodore beheld this sight “OH NO, WHAT HAPPENED?!”

“I just wanted to go fast but Skylar wanted me to do things that I didn’t want to do.  Like hop over a garden or somersault in the air or even jump high up” said a weary Quicksilver.

“I wasn’t meant to do that” Quicksilver said.

“But those are some of the best things and most exciting things to do” replied Commodore.

“Not for me it isn’t” said Quicksilver, “my biking days are through, I had enough excitement for one day.”

The next day came and Skylar appeared in the garage with his sack of newspapers.  He took a moment to look at what was left of Quicksilver.

“Man, I only had you for a day and now you’re all busted and broken.  I could go fast with you but I don’t know why I couldn’t do anything else.  Where’s the fun in that?!”

Skylar then took a long hard look at Commodore.  “I had you for years and years and was able to do a lot of tricks.  You made my paper route fun.  I knew what I could do with you, guess I should’ve stuck with you all along.  I’ll never make that same mistake again.”

And with that, Skylar and Commodore ventured out of the garage ready to perform their acrobatic routine for the neighbors once again.

Never Giving Up

heartbreak1

I’ve been hurt too many times…

too much to count

I’m scared,

because I’m starting to feel cold inside

To have no feelings for another

is the most scariest thing to experience

That’s why I keep trying so hard

I keep coming back for more punishment,

for more heartbreak

Because to lose that feeling of caring

caring for someone…

means to die inside

Losing all the wonderful qualities

of one’s self –

Lost forever in a world of darkness.

 

How A Filofax Created My “Bucket List”

 As I rummaged through the closet looking for something that I can’t even remember, I stumbled upon my Filofax.  Yes, I did say Filofax. 

 For those born in the 21st century, it’s a small looking folder that contains a calendar, day planner, notepad, plastic sleeves, ruler, pen holder, calculator, etc…  Basically it’s a personal organizer that helps you to manage your time, appointments, meetings and tasks.Bucket9

 It’s really a folder that you write down all the things you need or want to do on a given day and reference it when you can’t recall what it is you were supposed to do. 

 Back in the 90’s it was a real popular thing to have but I resisted the urge to have one because I felt it “dumbed” you down and made you prone to not using your brain to remember things. 

 When I saw the movie “Taking Care of Business” with Jim Belushi and Charles Grodin, my views on the Filofax changed.  I somehow became obsessed with owning a Filofax, even though I had no need for one.  I caved in and bought one to my delight; “I HAD A FILOFAX AND THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERED!”

 Since I was in college, I had nothing on my plate except for my classes; I spent money on this thing so I felt like I had to write something in the Filofax to validate me buying the damn thing.Bucket10

 I jotted down my class times even though I already knew the schedule by heart.  I could not think of a single thing to put in it; one fateful day while in class, as the professor was droning on about God knows what, I wondered what I wanted to accomplish in my life.  Now I know that people make bucket lists all the time, but I started to do this when it wasn’t something popularly spoken. 

 One day I had one goal, the next day another and the next day another.  Soon I ended up with 4 and a half pages of things I wanted to accomplish or “Life Goals” as I called it, since I didn’t really know what a bucket list was at the time.

 My list wasn’t extreme like going skydiving, bungee jumping, swimming with sharks or climbing Mount Everest; my goals centered around my career in being an established writer, getting literary representation, sell my screenplays, finding a soulmate, getting married and buying a house just to name a few.

 It wasn’t exciting or glamorous but they were “MY” goals; they were all attainable only if I was committed to seeing it through.  As the years flew by, that Filofax of mine soon became a fixture in an obscure corner of a book shelf and then somehow ended up in storage within my closet. 

 Don’t ask me how or why that had occurred, but it did.  I guess somewhere along in my life things happened that caused me to forget about what I had wanted to accomplish.

 So cut to the present and back to the start of this post, when I stumbled across this decrepit Filofax I immediately opened it and rifled through the pages to where I scribbled my “Life Goals”.

As I looked through the list I made 20 some odd years ago, I grabbed a pen and started to check off what I had accomplished.  The ones that were accomplished put a smile on my face and satisfaction rippled down my spine. Bucket5

As for the ones that I didn’t do, I paused for a moment to wonder why that was.  Clearly it was something that I can still do.  “What’s stopping me?” is all that I could think of.  I felt that it was still a “Life Goal” that I still want to attain.

 As of this writing, I am trying my best to see things through and accomplish what I set out to do when I was a young man in college.  With a little luck, hard work and dogged determination, I know I’ll check off every single one of my “Life Goals” before I take leave of this Earth.