Family

The End of an Era

/ markmkane / 13 Comments

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When all things must come to an end

How do you say goodbye

to the friendships formed through years of…

laughter,

good times,

rough patches,

sorrow,

arguments

The bond that was created was unique,

one that can never be broken

A rapport that can never be extinguished

Is it possible to find that in the unknown?

A place where

you’re new,

vulnerable,

scared

Is there hope in finding

that special connection

with another person again?

One who’ll share

Your smiles,

sadness,

concerns,

fears,

joy,

You can never go back,

you can only cherish that special memory

of a past that you can no longer relive

You can only be grateful,

appreciative,

and carry on

By the grace of God,

with some luck,

you’ll stumble upon a new era

and experience new things

that will resemble the past.

How Do You Let Go

/ markmkane / 6 Comments

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How do you let go…

when for so long

your heart was

full of life,

had an abundance of joy,

content in all things

How do you let go…

when you know it’s time

but your heart and mind are

conflicted,

in pain,

lost in a sea of confusion

When it’s scary,

that’s when you jump

When your strength

is fueled by faith

When you take a chance,

see the world with eyes wide open

and dare to be great

That’s when you know…

it’s time to let go.

Midlife Reflections #4

/ markmkane / 11 Comments

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How do you deal with change?  Especially the life changing ones.  This has been weighing on my mind the past couple of days.  In the past, when I was much younger, this was never a concern; in fact I enjoyed experiencing change.

As I got older, I got married, had children, found a secure job. I found a daily routine that made my life simple.  I was content with the way things were in my life and for a person that likes control…I was in heaven.

Now all of a sudden, I’m changing jobs. Going from a good paying job to something that is much less but with great benefits.  On top of that, opportunities are presenting themselves to where my passion, my dream, can become a reality.

My younger self would’ve been thrilled with what’s going on.  Welcoming the change, the unpredictability.  But my present self and my current state of mind is a bit hesitant.  Don’t get me wrong, a part of me is really excited but three quarters of me is not.  Fearing the unknown is truly terrifying.

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You would’ve thought that through all my years, all of my accumulated experiences would prepare me for this.  But it never does.  The only thing that I’ve learned was that sometimes you got to take a leap of faith into the unknown.

It might work out, it might not.  It’s a chance that I have to take.  I’ve always learn to bet on myself to endure whatever life threw at me.  It’s so cliché to say this, but as long as my family and friends are there for support, advice and guidance, change can be bearable.

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It’s a given that change will always happen.  We will always be both excited and scared from it but we should have the confidence in ourselves to know that we’ll get through it.  Possibilities for great things are there if we just take a chance.

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The Cycle of Goodness

/ markmkane / 14 Comments

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When you perform a good deed for someone, whether it be family, friend or stranger, their look of expression exhibits gratitude.  Their appreciation for your generosity and kindness in giving of yourself and your time is reciprocated with a smile, a kiss, a hug, a handshake or words of thanks and praise.

And it’s a good feeling; it gives us a sense of self-satisfaction and prideful joy.  Because it feels good, almost intoxicating, we tend to do more good deeds.  As for the recipient of your actions, their positive experience compels them to try and do the same for others.  Spreading the wealth of selflessness…that’s the cycle of goodness.

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It’s the power to connect with people and let them know that there is good in the world and in everyone’s heart.  Seeing all those happy people and their smiles, truly makes one proud.  You can never forget the look on a person’s face when they express sincere gratitude and acknowledgement.

When we share an experience, a positive one at that, we form bonds.  Perpetuating the cycle of goodness, that’s the bond…the synergy of doing something exceptional for someone in a selfless manner.

We can all incorporate this into our daily lives.  A simple act can go a long way for someone in need.  We must never forget the power of the human heart…goodness is the key that can link the hearts of many.

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Living the “Aloha Spirit”

/ markmkane / 12 Comments

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Hawaii is unique in the sense that we really have a multi-cultural atmosphere; yes, every state and country has a melting pot culture as well but they’re not an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean with nowhere to go.

We are so isolated that the essence of good and stable relationships is important for collective existence.  We think of ourselves as one big community where we just find a way to live and work together.  We “talk story”, share customs and meals and influence each other.  We take what’s best from each other’s cultures and fuse them together to create this place.

The way we interact and treat one another is how the “Aloha Spirit” is spread.  It’s like an expression of kindness, hospitality, spirituality, cooperativeness, humility, unity and graciousness all rolled into one that we share with others, whether it be family, friends, acquaintances or strangers.

Whether you grew up here or a transplant from somewhere far, this attitude becomes engrained in your psyche.  It’s a part of our life; we treat everyone like family.  If you come here for a visit, just stop and look around.  You can’t miss it because it’s seen everywhere, every day.

 

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It’s the person that lets you cut into their lane during gridlocked rush hour, the next door neighbor that gives you fruits from their backyard, the people that come out in droves for a bone marrow drive for a family’s child, the person pulling over to help a stranger with a stranded vehicle on the freeway, the lady that welcomes a stranger with open arms at a party and treats them like a long-time friend, the guy that informs a tourist where the choice spots to go surfing or fishing and what to avoid, the feeling of trying to go above and beyond to help someone in need while being courteous in the process.

I could go on and on and give tons of examples but you get the picture; being hospitable is in every corner of the world.  I just wanted to give a brief light into what the “Aloha Spirit” was about.  Being tasked with explaining it through a blog was quite difficult for me because it’s just a way of life here.

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The “Aloha Spirit” is just spreading goodwill to everyone we meet; sharing a smile, helping out, being friendly, showing that we really care about you.  So if you get a chance, it doesn’t matter where you were born or where you’re currently living…maybe you could help spread the “Aloha Spirit” and increase the positivity in the world.

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Midlife Reflections #3

/ markmkane / 16 Comments

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The past couple of days, I’ve pondered on my life’s journey and what it took to get me here today.  It was a smooth ride that had numerous speed bumps and detours along the way.

I’ve had days when I hit the jackpot and everything went my way; even my mistakes and miscues resulted in a favorable outcome.

AND THEN there were those days where anything and everything went horribly wrong; where life put me in a loop and a series of jokes slapped me in the face one after another.

Regardless of what kind of day, week, month or year I had, I somehow survived; I lived to tell the tale and more often than not, I remembered in detail all of the good that I encountered.

Throughout all of my life’s experiences, I’ve come to the realization that sometimes my greatest memory can be my worst enemy.  Relishing and reminiscing about all those happy times brought about a false sense of thinking; that everything would result in something wonderful.

It was good to have a positive outlook but I needed to embrace all the bad that happened in my life wholeheartedly.  With every failed attempt I grew closer to success.

With much introspection, I’ve learned to value everything that crossed my path.  It helped me to be strong, wise, compassionate, focused, determined and grateful.  Life is way too short, so “Find the beauty in every moment” and bring out the best in yourself.

Forever Strong

/ markmkane / 4 Comments

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We wish good times would last,

that feeling of no tomorrow,

but we know that’s not the case

How does one stay strong

in the midst of the dark

When your life is riddled with

change,

crisis,

death,

tragedy,

pain,

heartache

We try to summon every ounce of

faith,

hope,

love,

courage,

support,

even false bravado

to overcome our trials and tribulations

We will never know how strong we are

until strong is the only choice we have

In the end if we do this, we’ll be

resilient in hard times,

fearless of the unknown,

eternally optimistic,

steadfast in our mind’s eye,

and

forever strong.

Midlife Reflections

/ markmkane / 6 Comments

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Back when I was much younger and starting out in the workforce, I used to think that a good paying job was the endgame to being happy and successful in life.  All that consumed me was trying to work for a company where I could climb that corporate ladder to a six figure salary; I was young, naive and dreamed big.  Little did I know that “all that glitters is not gold”.

I’ve seen people in good paying jobs but miserable as heck.  And I’ve seen the opposite, some in okay paying jobs but loving every minute of it.

Regardless of pay, we need to be happy in our jobs.  Why you may ask?  Since we spend three-quarters of the day at our place of employment, it stands to show that it’s like our second home with our second family.

If we can’t be happy there, then those feelings sometimes get transposed into our home lives.  We may not do that intentionally but it happens.  Life is too short to be miserable and stressed out.

In my current stage in life, I’ve come to the realization that life is meant to be enjoyed to its fullest.  After enduring the trials and tribulations of working many jobs, I only now know that if you’re not happy or enjoying what you do, find something that will.  Better late than never, right?

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This newfound wisdom is something that I impart on my children constantly.  So the next time you’re out job hunting, rather than asking yourself “how much does it pay?”, ponder on whether it’s something that you would “love” or “enjoy” doing for the rest of your life.  If you choose to follow the latter path, the pay will come.  Work for love, not money.

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You’re Grounded! Write Me A Story!

/ markmkane / 5 Comments

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The other day as I was walking through the local mall, I saw a mother unabashedly scolding her son.  He looked like he was about 9 or 10 years of age and completely embarrassed by the staring eyes of the mall’s patrons.

When the mother’s tirade ended, she forcefully grabbed her son’s arm and stormed away.  This scene was reminiscent of my childhood and all I could think of was what was in store for the boy when he gets home.

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I remembered whenever I did something bad, my parents would give me a good scolding and ground me.  “YOU CAN’T GO OUT AND PLAY AND NO TV FOR A WEEK!” is what my mom usually bellowed.  Back in my time, this was painful; I didn’t have the luxuries that the kids have nowadays.

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Being “grounded” meant just staying in my room doing nothing.  At that time there were no such things as cable TV, cellphones or video games.  All that I could do to pass the time away was listen to AM radio stations (because there weren’t any FM at that time).

Now whenever I did something “REALLY” bad, like playing with matches and burning things, I got a healthy dose of spankings.  My mother would get “the belt” and teach me an unforgettable lesson.

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Please don’t think bad of my mom; she’s the most kindest and caring person in the world.  Some of the terrible things I did as a young boy were REALLY BAD…trust me.  Remember, I grew up in a time when this was perfectly acceptable or “PC.”  Your neighbors and even teachers were allowed to do the same if you got way out of line…boy how times have changed.

As I was growing up, I wondered how I would discipline my children if they ever did something bad.  Well, cut to present day…as a parent of two, I decided to go the unconventional route.

When my children were young and did something bad, I made them write me a story and then read it to me and my wife.

“Don’t worry about grammar or spelling, just write me a story” is what I would tell them.

“What do you want us to write about?” my children would reply.

My answer, “Anything!  Just write me a story!”

For some unknown reason, this punishment really stressed them out.  Secretly I think that they would have rather been scolded or grounded.

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For the longest time, they would stare at a blank page and wrack their brains to come up with anything.  Their stories were simple at first but in time, they got to be more and more creative.  Their speaking skills improved as well.

Don’t get me wrong, they still got a good scolding if they did something really bad but I felt that I wanted to try and bring out their creativity at an early age.

This punishment benefitted them during their early school years and were recognized by their teachers whenever we had our annual parent-teacher conference.

Now that my kids are teenagers, this punishment is way too easy for them.  I need to come up with a whole new game plan.  Maybe I’ll make them come up with a dance choreography…yeah, I’ll do that!

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