Start of a new year
Many doors are now open
Possibilities
With eyes wide open
Our dreams are within our grasp
Time to fulfill them
Make your first step count
Take on the world without fear
Everlasting hope
Family
Navigating the Unknown
Lost in thought
nowhere to turn,
what have I done
that makes this a concern
I’ve lived a life
of certainty and control,
stayed in my lane
eyes on the goal
But one fateful day
I decided to jump
Heading into the unknown
taking me out of a slump
These unchartered waters,
scary with every wave
What course do I take?
How do I behave?
This path that I’m on
terrifying and new
Has me out of whack
my life a bit askew
With the chips all down
and back against the wall,
staying strong is the key
to endure the long haul
I’ve learned to be patient,
I’ve learned to be kind,
I became more trusting
by using my heart with my mind
This bump in the road
riled with stress and strife,
I’ll get past this somehow
it’s my test in life
I have to be positive
never wavering in thought,
look at all that I’ve done
be grateful for what I’ve got
Life it too short
I’ll do the best that I can,
live for a better tomorrow
“Everlasting Hope” as my game plan.
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The Christmas Conundrum
Every day I marvel at the fact that I’m truly blessed to have such a wonderful family. Yeah, we each have our faults, flaws and quirks AND we get on each other’s nerves, but at the end of the day that pales in comparison to the unwavering love and support we have for each other. Why am I bringing this up you may ask? At this time every year, I struggle to figure out what to get them for Christmas. I wrack my brain knowing that I have no clue on where to start.
So every year, I resort to doing what needs to be done. The whole process boils down to me being a covert spy. With a stoic expression, I nonchalantly ask them subtle questions about the things they look at in stores or online; narrowing down their top choices. Hours pass, days even before I press on. I ask them more questions without really tipping off my true intent; keenly watching their body language and gauging their emotions. I take into account every word spoken, making mental checklists about their likes and dislikes. And that’s usually enough for me to go on and buy their presents.
But there are also times when they don’t say much; even after asking prodding questions. So in this instance, I resort to using each family member as an asset into retrieving the necessary information I need. I endear them to my cause and then give them a set of questions to ask a family member. They can ask however they want as long as they don’t reveal my true intent. Surprisingly this tactic produces good results as well.
On rare instances when I end up with nothing, rather than buy them something that they won’t like, I’ll just sell out and give them money or gift cards. I don’t usually like to do this because there is no personal touch but it’s better to give something rather than nothing at all.
The reason why I go through so much trouble is because I feel like I need to get them something really special to show my appreciation for all that they’ve done for me. A simple hug or words of acknowledgement is usually the norm for most of the year, but at Christmas time, it’s the one time that I can really make them SMILE. Even though they always say “You don’t really have to get me anything, I’m fine”, I still want to show them my gratitude. Giving them something that they’ve always wanted really makes me feel good inside. If I can feel that, then mission accomplished.
Midlife Reflections #5
Looking back on everything I’ve done in my life, whether it be good or bad, there are definitely things that I would’ve done very differently. But I guess that’s how we all would feel if given the power of hindsight. Some would say that what we did was supposed to happen in order for us to learn a lesson or set us on the right path to where we’re going to end up.
For someone like me who’s a control freak, especially when it comes to my choice of jobs, it’s truly frustrating when you’ve made a bad choice. After making that critical decision, whether intentionally, hastily or ill-informed, it feels like an eternity trying to get my life back on track. Everything seems to be in overdrive just to get back to normalcy; but now every turn, every move I make I second guess myself.
“I shouldn’t have done this!”
“What the hell was I thinking?!”
“What have I gotten myself into?!”
“Am I going to get out of this jam? And when!?”
All these thoughts run a continuous loop in my head and I beat myself up over making that error in judgement. We’re all human, but I have high expectations of myself and feel like the whole world just came crashing down on me. I feel trapped with no option in sight.
We talk to our family and friends about our predicament to get their advice but it turns into a therapy session where we pour our hearts out in hopes of a quick and easy solution. We’ve all been there…and we’ll all go there again.
The one thing that keeps me afloat is the prospect of something better on the horizon. Yeah, I don’t know how long it’ll take to reach that destination but the idea of finding something better keeps that hope alive. AND I always hold out for hope! I always err on the side of positivity. Why? Because at my lowest point, that’s all I can do. It’s much better than the alternative; I can’t just give up. Throwing in the towel and being resigned to the fact that I failed somehow is not an option.
There is always a way out of every predicament I put myself in. Strength and faith is all I need to have to know that it’ll all work out in the end. Nothing’s impossible to overcome, I just have to be willing to take the first step forward…AND I just did.
What do you do?
What do you do
when the carrot that’s been dangling
in front of you
gets ripped away
It’s like a punch to the gut
that just sucks the life out of you
Your whole world turns
upside down
Where do you go from here?
How do you cope?
Your battle worn
mind, body and soul
wants to give up
and throw in the towel
But your heart refuses
It is life!
No matter what,
it knows that you are made of sterner stuff
It pumps hope into your core
The source that keeps you alive
that wills you to move forward
past the disappointment,
and the pain
It becomes a shot of adrenaline
that courses through your very fiber
that makes your determination,
your drive
ten times stronger than it was before
and gives you the resolve
to take on greater things
and gives you a true sense of peace
knowing that you’ll overcome
the next disappointment
with strength and inner confidence
and a heart that can
truly stand the test of time.
Life Affirming Haikus
Precious memories
Helps to pass the time away
Nothing but fondness
My mind’s eye sees love
Living everyday with joy
Learning to live right
Liebster Award
I am truly honored and appreciative of the fact that I was nominated for the Liebster Award by Haylee. I had stumbled across her log one day and was pleasantly surprised by her posts…most especially her poems. They are simple, profound and touch on life experiences that we all encountered at some point in our lives. If you get the chance, check out her site: stumblingaboutourworld.wordpress.com
You’ll be pleasantly surprised as I was.
Questions from stumblingaboutourworld:
1. What is the most extreme thing that I’ve done?
When I was in college, I hiked along the entire ridge of Diamond Head. Which I’m glad I did because now they do not permit anyone to do so because of the dangerous conditions.
2. Out of all the places I visited, which did I like the most?
I really like Hawaii (also known as the “Big Island”) . I got the opportunity to see an active volcano, walk on solid lava, got to go to the top of Mauna Kea, experienced the black sand beach as well as the green sand beach and saw many historical Hawaiian sites.
3. What is on of my favorite memories?
The birth of my daughter Chloe and my son Conor. It truly was an experience that surpasses anything and everything that I encountered or will encounter.
4. Why did I decide to start my blog?
It was on the advice of my literary manager but in the end it was my passion for writing and sharing my inner voice for the world to see.
5. What is my favorite book or book series?
“Writing Movies For Fun And Profit or How We Made A Billion Dollars at the Box Office and You Can, Too!” by Robert Ben Garant & Thomas Lennon
6. Do I have a post (one of my own) that you favor over others?
The one that I liked best was a post called “Our Special Gift” :
midlifemaniacalme.me/?s=our+special+gift
7. If I could go anywhere in the world and take one person, who would it be and why?
I would go and see Japan with my wife because she is my everything – the love of my life, my best friend, the foundation of our family, strong, smart and a fighter.
8. If I were given $500 today, what would I do with it and why?
If given a $500 today, I would spend it on a dinner for my parents because of all they’ve done for me. They’ve taught me the values of life, helped shaped the person into who I am today.
9. What inspires me to write?
It’s just a passion that I’ve had for the past 27 years. The joy I get from writing anything totally frees me and lets my inner voice be heard and shared with both strangers and all of my blogging colleagues.
10. What is my opinion on the advancement of technology?
I think that it’s great. A lot of what we do and see whether it be writing, seeing something is all instantaneous. It’s truly convenient.
Nominees:
I had a hard time trying to determine what blogs I was going to nominate because I follow so many great ones. The ones that particularly stuck out were the ones that touched me, inspired me, made me laugh and provoke thought. These blogs are written by the people who provide encouraging words and have the gift of prose. They really don’t need my help in sending people their way because so many people have found them already. But on the off chance you haven’t stumbled across them, please check them out..you won’t be disappointed.
Questions For The Blogs That I Nominate:
- What made you decide to start a blog?
- Which one of your own posts do you like the best and why?
- What inspires you to write?
- What have you learned from following other blogs?
- How has blogging affected your life?
- When do you like to do your writing – day or night?
- How do you decide on what blog you want to follow?
- Has your blogging experience been so far?
- Who is your biggest influence in your craft of writing?
- Would you recommend blogging to your family and friends?
Rules for Nominees:
- Thank the person who nominated you, and put a link to their blog on your blog. Try to include a little promotion for the person who nominated you. They will thank you for it and those who you nominate will also help you out as well.
- Display the award on your blog — by including it in your post and/or displaying it using a “widget” or a “gadget”. (Note that the best way to do this is to save the image to your own computer and then upload it to your blog post.) At the bottom of this post, I’ve included a whole lot of images you can use for your 2017 Liebster Award.
- For the 2017 Liebster Award, I will be shaking things up! Write a 150-300 word post about your favourite blog that is not your own. Explain why you like the blog, provide links.
- Provide 10 random facts about yourself. (This year I’m making this optional. If you wish to engage with your readers it’s a great idea to include random facts about you.)
- Nominate 5 – 11 blogs that you feel deserve the award. (Note that you can always ask the blog owner this since not all blogs display a widget that lets the readers know this information!)
- List these rules in your post (You can copy and paste from here or simply link to this post.) Once you have written and published it, you then have to:
- Inform the people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster award and provide a link for them to your post or mine if you don’t have all the information so that they can learn about it (they might not have ever heard of it!) (info)
The End of an Era
When all things must come to an end
How do you say goodbye
to the friendships formed through years of…
laughter,
good times,
rough patches,
sorrow,
arguments
The bond that was created was unique,
one that can never be broken
A rapport that can never be extinguished
Is it possible to find that in the unknown?
A place where
you’re new,
vulnerable,
scared
Is there hope in finding
that special connection
with another person again?
One who’ll share
Your smiles,
sadness,
concerns,
fears,
joy,
You can never go back,
you can only cherish that special memory
of a past that you can no longer relive
You can only be grateful,
appreciative,
and carry on
By the grace of God,
with some luck,
you’ll stumble upon a new era
and experience new things
that will resemble the past.
How Do You Let Go
How do you let go…
when for so long
your heart was
full of life,
had an abundance of joy,
content in all things
How do you let go…
when you know it’s time
but your heart and mind are
conflicted,
in pain,
lost in a sea of confusion
When it’s scary,
that’s when you jump
When your strength
is fueled by faith
When you take a chance,
see the world with eyes wide open
and dare to be great
That’s when you know…
it’s time to let go.
Midlife Reflections #4
How do you deal with change? Especially the life changing ones. This has been weighing on my mind the past couple of days. In the past, when I was much younger, this was never a concern; in fact I enjoyed experiencing change.
As I got older, I got married, had children, found a secure job. I found a daily routine that made my life simple. I was content with the way things were in my life and for a person that likes control…I was in heaven.
Now all of a sudden, I’m changing jobs. Going from a good paying job to something that is much less but with great benefits. On top of that, opportunities are presenting themselves to where my passion, my dream, can become a reality.
My younger self would’ve been thrilled with what’s going on. Welcoming the change, the unpredictability. But my present self and my current state of mind is a bit hesitant. Don’t get me wrong, a part of me is really excited but three quarters of me is not. Fearing the unknown is truly terrifying.
You would’ve thought that through all my years, all of my accumulated experiences would prepare me for this. But it never does. The only thing that I’ve learned was that sometimes you got to take a leap of faith into the unknown.
It might work out, it might not. It’s a chance that I have to take. I’ve always learn to bet on myself to endure whatever life threw at me. It’s so cliché to say this, but as long as my family and friends are there for support, advice and guidance, change can be bearable.
It’s a given that change will always happen. We will always be both excited and scared from it but we should have the confidence in ourselves to know that we’ll get through it. Possibilities for great things are there if we just take a chance.
Midlife, Maniacal & Me 