Family

Midlife Reflections #3

/ markmkane / 16 Comments

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The past couple of days, I’ve pondered on my life’s journey and what it took to get me here today.  It was a smooth ride that had numerous speed bumps and detours along the way.

I’ve had days when I hit the jackpot and everything went my way; even my mistakes and miscues resulted in a favorable outcome.

AND THEN there were those days where anything and everything went horribly wrong; where life put me in a loop and a series of jokes slapped me in the face one after another.

Regardless of what kind of day, week, month or year I had, I somehow survived; I lived to tell the tale and more often than not, I remembered in detail all of the good that I encountered.

Throughout all of my life’s experiences, I’ve come to the realization that sometimes my greatest memory can be my worst enemy.  Relishing and reminiscing about all those happy times brought about a false sense of thinking; that everything would result in something wonderful.

It was good to have a positive outlook but I needed to embrace all the bad that happened in my life wholeheartedly.  With every failed attempt I grew closer to success.

With much introspection, I’ve learned to value everything that crossed my path.  It helped me to be strong, wise, compassionate, focused, determined and grateful.  Life is way too short, so “Find the beauty in every moment” and bring out the best in yourself.

Forever Strong

/ markmkane / 4 Comments

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We wish good times would last,

that feeling of no tomorrow,

but we know that’s not the case

How does one stay strong

in the midst of the dark

When your life is riddled with

change,

crisis,

death,

tragedy,

pain,

heartache

We try to summon every ounce of

faith,

hope,

love,

courage,

support,

even false bravado

to overcome our trials and tribulations

We will never know how strong we are

until strong is the only choice we have

In the end if we do this, we’ll be

resilient in hard times,

fearless of the unknown,

eternally optimistic,

steadfast in our mind’s eye,

and

forever strong.

Midlife Reflections

/ markmkane / 6 Comments

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Back when I was much younger and starting out in the workforce, I used to think that a good paying job was the endgame to being happy and successful in life.  All that consumed me was trying to work for a company where I could climb that corporate ladder to a six figure salary; I was young, naive and dreamed big.  Little did I know that “all that glitters is not gold”.

I’ve seen people in good paying jobs but miserable as heck.  And I’ve seen the opposite, some in okay paying jobs but loving every minute of it.

Regardless of pay, we need to be happy in our jobs.  Why you may ask?  Since we spend three-quarters of the day at our place of employment, it stands to show that it’s like our second home with our second family.

If we can’t be happy there, then those feelings sometimes get transposed into our home lives.  We may not do that intentionally but it happens.  Life is too short to be miserable and stressed out.

In my current stage in life, I’ve come to the realization that life is meant to be enjoyed to its fullest.  After enduring the trials and tribulations of working many jobs, I only now know that if you’re not happy or enjoying what you do, find something that will.  Better late than never, right?

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This newfound wisdom is something that I impart on my children constantly.  So the next time you’re out job hunting, rather than asking yourself “how much does it pay?”, ponder on whether it’s something that you would “love” or “enjoy” doing for the rest of your life.  If you choose to follow the latter path, the pay will come.  Work for love, not money.

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You’re Grounded! Write Me A Story!

/ markmkane / 5 Comments

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The other day as I was walking through the local mall, I saw a mother unabashedly scolding her son.  He looked like he was about 9 or 10 years of age and completely embarrassed by the staring eyes of the mall’s patrons.

When the mother’s tirade ended, she forcefully grabbed her son’s arm and stormed away.  This scene was reminiscent of my childhood and all I could think of was what was in store for the boy when he gets home.

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I remembered whenever I did something bad, my parents would give me a good scolding and ground me.  “YOU CAN’T GO OUT AND PLAY AND NO TV FOR A WEEK!” is what my mom usually bellowed.  Back in my time, this was painful; I didn’t have the luxuries that the kids have nowadays.

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Being “grounded” meant just staying in my room doing nothing.  At that time there were no such things as cable TV, cellphones or video games.  All that I could do to pass the time away was listen to AM radio stations (because there weren’t any FM at that time).

Now whenever I did something “REALLY” bad, like playing with matches and burning things, I got a healthy dose of spankings.  My mother would get “the belt” and teach me an unforgettable lesson.

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Please don’t think bad of my mom; she’s the most kindest and caring person in the world.  Some of the terrible things I did as a young boy were REALLY BAD…trust me.  Remember, I grew up in a time when this was perfectly acceptable or “PC.”  Your neighbors and even teachers were allowed to do the same if you got way out of line…boy how times have changed.

As I was growing up, I wondered how I would discipline my children if they ever did something bad.  Well, cut to present day…as a parent of two, I decided to go the unconventional route.

When my children were young and did something bad, I made them write me a story and then read it to me and my wife.

“Don’t worry about grammar or spelling, just write me a story” is what I would tell them.

“What do you want us to write about?” my children would reply.

My answer, “Anything!  Just write me a story!”

For some unknown reason, this punishment really stressed them out.  Secretly I think that they would have rather been scolded or grounded.

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For the longest time, they would stare at a blank page and wrack their brains to come up with anything.  Their stories were simple at first but in time, they got to be more and more creative.  Their speaking skills improved as well.

Don’t get me wrong, they still got a good scolding if they did something really bad but I felt that I wanted to try and bring out their creativity at an early age.

This punishment benefitted them during their early school years and were recognized by their teachers whenever we had our annual parent-teacher conference.

Now that my kids are teenagers, this punishment is way too easy for them.  I need to come up with a whole new game plan.  Maybe I’ll make them come up with a dance choreography…yeah, I’ll do that!

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Life’s Haikus

/ markmkane / 5 Comments

The road may be dark

But always look for the light

Never give up

 

Life’s full of unknowns

You are stronger than you think

Always forge ahead

 

 Laughter exudes joy

Enjoy life to its fullest

Make precious moments

 

  Be with your loved ones

Make love spring eternal bliss

Let you heart explode

 

 Live with no regrets

Challenge yourself constantly

New things await you

To Be A Friend

/ markmkane / Leave a comment

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You make me smile

when I’m feeling down,

You chase away my problems,

make it hard for me to frown

Your wise advice,

though they maybe small

These are the ones

that help most of all

A watchful eye,

that’s alert and aware

of how I really feel,

whether good, bad, or fair

Thank you so much

for always being there

You give of your time

to show that you care

You give so much

to help me in life,

of the good things to expect

along with the stress and strife.

 

Happy Father’s Day

/ markmkane / 5 Comments

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Father’s Day is once upon us again and I for one always look forward to this day.  Why you may ask?  It’s because I cherish the homemade cards that my children give to me.  Their words of appreciation and love are truly priceless and beats any material gifts that I receive.   a7

Being a father is by far one of the “BEST” jobs that I have.  When I’m not disciplining my children for something bad they may have done, I’m their adult buddy.

That’s my excuse for going to the toy store and perusing shelves of toys to my heart’s content.  It’s my chance to purchase awesome “action figures” (I call them that because calling them “boy” dolls are totally not cool at all).

I also am afforded the opportunities to do things like hip hop dancing, playing video games, being up on the most current social media app, learning how to navigate my phone, all the stuff that kids nowadays do.

Don’t let my “over the hill” appearance fool you; inside this battle-worn body is a goofy kid that’s willing to make a fool of himself as well.  There are even times when my kids join in my tomfoolery; more often than not, my kids are slightly embarrassed at some of the mischievous things I tend to do in public just for a laugh.  My wife often says that she has not two but three kids and the “oldest” one is the most immature.

Aside from all the fun things that I get to do with my kids as a dad, I’m also there to provide guidance and strength in crucial moments in their life.  I’m a father first and my family is my world…my everything.

I try my best to be the best father I can be and I can honestly say that it’s not that hard to do.  I had a good role model in my father; he took a vested interest in my well-being, gave sound advice and made me into the person I am today.  A4My father’s quiet strength, extensive knowledge, vast experiences, quirky sense of humor, gentle kindness and champion against all forms of danger belied his gruff, stern exterior.  No amount of thanks will ever be enough for what he’s done in my life.

Yeah moms are given all the honor and glory that they rightfully deserve but give dads the same as well.  So this Father’s Day, if you’re fortunate enough to still have your father around, spend time with him and cherish it with all of your heart.  If you’re a father, be with your kids and love them for all their worth.  Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there!!!

How Do I Define Myself

/ markmkane / 4 Comments

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How do I define myself?

It’s not through

exquisite jewelry,

expensive cars,

a spacious mansion,

a lavish lifestyle

or money

How do I define myself?

By leading a simple life of

love,

laughter,

hugs,

smiles,

hope,

and joy

How do I define myself?

Through years and years

of knowledge and experience,

filled with trials and tribulations,

both good and bad

shared with family,

friends,

acquaintances,

myself

How do I define my life?

By sharing a smile,

offering a helping hand,

lending an ear,

being with loved ones,

enjoying everything around me,

taking nothing for granted,

simply living for now.

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The Love Of A Child

/ markmkane / 2 Comments

The love from a child

is most meaningful to see

What comes from their soul

is beautiful and carefree

Their love is unconditional

straight from the start

It’s unwavering and bountiful

warm the cockles of your heart

Their innocence, their laughter

their unabashed delight

Their huge, beaming smile

a pure treasure at first sight

The emotions you get from a child

sensations so pure and true

They wear their heart on their sleeve

on full display for you

So when a child comes to you

and gives you their all

Accept it post haste

be at that child’s beck and call

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My Perfect Day

/ markmkane / 2 Comments

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We’ve all heard the phrase “That team played a perfect game”, “He/she got a perfect score on the test”, “That was the perfect date”, “He was a perfect gentleman” or “That was a perfect day.”

That word “perfect” obviously meant flawless, without fail.  Things went so smoothly that the stars aligned and there wasn’t an ounce of disruption in your particular quest.

For some odd reason that word came to my mind this past week and I tried to fathom what I did in my life that was so “perfect.”

Yes, I’ve had a perfect score on an exam before so that was easy to relate to but as for the rest, I had a hard time trying to comprehend what that really meant.  I figured I’d sleep on it and try to tackle that the next day.

The next day arrived; there were no plans or errands to do so it was pretty much a chill day.

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP…I sluggishly turned off the blaring alarm clock and rubbed my tired eyes awake.  I looked to my left and saw my wife, Iris, of 20 years still asleep; she was always a deep sleeper.

I gazed at her for a moment and a flood of memories washed over me.  It was like a video album showcasing all of the good and  bad times; I smirked at how we ended up together and miraculously endured all of this.

Just then, our 3 year old dog “Chibi” started to lick my face as if to say “Good Morning, time for my morning walk now” or it just could have meant “Are you awake now?  Good, let’s go play!”  Chibi then turned her attention to my wife and did what the alarm clock could not do.

We got out of bed and did our normal routine.  Soon after my son, Conor, woke up somberly said good morning and immediately turned on the TV as he plopped on the couch.  Soon after my daughter, Chloe, awoke and joined Conor on the couch.

They weren’t their boisterous selves, more like morning zombies adjusting to the daylight and getting their bones, muscles and joints acclimated to the new day.

As the day wore on, our house started to liven up to its usual self.  There would be times where I saw Chloe and Conor laughing about something, joking with Iris or playing with Chibi.

Throughout the day, we all would be interacting with each other in some fashion.  As the day turned to night, we continued doing our little things to keep us occupied, all the while still connecting with one another.

The day came to an end and we all prepped for the next day of work and school.  As we said our goodnights, I laid there in the dark and mulled over what took place throughout the day.

It was just a simple ordinary day of really doing nothing and just relaxing with the family.  We laughed, joked and did inconsequential things but enjoyed every minute of it unbeknownst to us all.

I replayed the entire day in my mind’s eye and took stock of how beautiful that was. My sense of appreciation was immeasurable.  Nothing went wrong, there were no major disruptions…I couldn’t have asked for a better day.  It was simply “perfect”; it was “My perfect day.”

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