Pause…Breathe…Reset

Sometime when we are
stressed, depressed, worried or have anxiety,
being alone in our thoughts
can be unhealthy
So take a step back, breath,
clear your mind
and make it a point
to seek out family and friends
Spending time with them
will reset your perspective on life
and will help you gain insight
The wonders of
friendly advice, loving support and good laughs
will do your soul wonders
So relax, for it’s not the end of the world
You will get through it and
come out stronger in the end
with a robust confidence
backed by an eternal well of hope

Midlife Reflections #8

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Time heals all wounds” they say but a lot of us cling to the past which makes it quite difficult to move forward in life.  Memories of the past is like a double edged sword.  Many of the experiences we hold so dearly are often ones of joy, love or laughter that was shared with family, friends and loved ones which can never be replicated.  Others are of fractured memories that bring sadness, pain and loss that we try so hard to forget but to no avail.  Often times when we’re in a different setting, we encounter a similar situation or experience and expect it to follow what had happened in the past.  When it doesn’t live up to the hype, to our expectations, the end feelings leave us disappointed, discouraged and depressed.  Or when it brings about the same feelings of sorrow it just fuels our doomed outlook on life.

It’s truly hard to move past these things and I for one can admit that I find it challenging to do so.  But everything that we experience makes us into who we are and really does help us to become stronger.  Time really doesn’t fix things, it just add more to our already full plate and lessens the degree of our greatest or most horrible past memory.  It really just finds a way of taking us out of our comfort zone and pushing us beyond our limits.  Whether we bend or break is all up to us.  I for one take it by its horn and wrestle it aside.

So if you find it hard to find happiness in life or just trying to make it day by day, take solace in knowing that you’re not alone.   We’re all grinding it out the best way we can.  There’s a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow for all of us, it’s out there waiting for us to discover it.  If things are not going your way or your ready to throw in the towel, take stock in where you are right now in life.  You’ve made it this far, just think how much further you can go.  It hard to stay positive but if you just have a tiny spark, it’s all you need to start that fire in you to go out and take action!

Almost, But Not Quite There Yet

1A

When life throws you a curve, what do you do?  We are faced with making many decisions on a daily basis, some minor, others life-changing ones.  How do you decide which course of action to take?  Do you rush into it with emotions running high?  Do you take a step back and think things through?

1C

Lately, I’ve been pondering the decisions that I’ve made within the past several months.  Were they good ones…well it’s hard to say.  From my perspective, it might’ve been the wrong ones.  I think the past several decisions were based purely on emotions and in hindsight I should’ve taken a breather before jumping headlong into a predicament that exacerbated what was already a stressful situation.

1F

As always, I live and learn.  My comfort is in the fact that I have the power to do something about it and that it’s not something that’ll last forever.  No matter how bad the situation I’m in, I’ll find a way to resolve it.  I just need to look for the little signs that God has placed for me to find.  Once I can identify them and learn from it then it’ll be when I can move on.  Life is way too short to just give up and be content with where you are.

Granted I’ve made mistakes that led me to where I am today, but I have faith that this is the path that God designed for me.  I am eternally hopeful that this will ultimately lead me to where I was truly meant to be.  As long as I keep the faith, stay positive and persevere, I’ll be just fine.   

1G

Forever Strong

AA3

We wish good times would last,

that feeling of no tomorrow,

but we know that’s not the case

How does one stay strong

in the midst of the dark

When your life is riddled with

change,

crisis,

death,

tragedy,

pain,

heartache

We try to summon every ounce of

faith,

hope,

love,

courage,

support,

even false bravado

to overcome our trials and tribulations

We will never know how strong we are

until strong is the only choice we have

In the end if we do this, we’ll be

resilient in hard times,

fearless of the unknown,

eternally optimistic,

steadfast in our mind’s eye,

and

forever strong.

Diary of an Over-Thinker

Think1

You’re thinking too much, you’re thinking TOO MUCH, YOU’RE THINKING TOO MUCH!

 I’ve always wondered if there was a gene that caused over-thinking.  The reason for the curiosity is because I am one of those people and it truly sucks to have this debilitating psyche consume you.

 Being an over-thinker makes you become analytical, obsessed and anxiety prone.  Your every waking moment becomes preoccupied with the problem at hand; it could be health related, work related, a relationship or situation. 

 To those that aren’t like this, I’ll give you an insight as to how I am.

 Step One: “Problem arises”

The first thing I do is determine if it’s something minor or serious. If it’s the latter, it begins to stew in my head until it comes to a boil.

Step Two: “How to solve this” 

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I begin to pour over all the possible solutions that can quickly solve this quandary so that it doesn’t escalate into a full-blown dilemma.  Once I find a suitable answer, I’m calm and copacetic once again.

Step Three: “Scenarios, scenarios, scenarios”

You’d think that once I found a clear explanation to what I’m going through it’ll be over.  Nope, my mind starts to get into gear and different scenarios begin to pop up.  As a writer, my imagination can create very pleasant and very detrimental storylines. A mental slideshow of all the possibilities play out in a never ending loop. 

Step Four: “The worst is yet to come”

Rather than being the self-professed “eternal optimist” I vehemently claim to be, my mindset turns over to the “dark side” and the worst engulfs me.  I can no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel and begin to convince myself that the only outcome will be disastrous.  I begin to lose sleep, my appetite wanes and depression develops.

Step Five: “Panic and anxiety are my new buddies” 

Now that I feel that the unfavorable will likely occur, panic and anxiety encompass my thoughts.  I am no longer in control of my life and have to place my blind trust in the forces that have my life’s remote control.  The world feels like it’s coming to an end and I am truly envious of others around me who are happy and carefree.  To feel like that again would be a luxury to be cherished for all time.

Step Six: “Sunny disposition?!”

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I make an attempt at some normalcy to ease my stress induced fear by going through my everyday normal routine, but somehow I can’t truly be myself.  It’s like my head’s in a fog and my demeanor is a former shell of itself.  I try to put on an Oscar worthy performance for my family, friends and co-workers but it ends up being everything that merits a Razzie award.

Step Seven: “Under a microscope”Think5

Throughout it all, I begin to question if I could’ve done something to prevent this problem from ever coming to fruition.  I scrutinize every miniscule thing that brought me up to that point and sigh in utter defeat for lack of insight.

Step Eight: “All things must come to an end”

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The day finally arrives when my issue is addressed; several of the crisis turned out fine, while the others ended up FUBAR.  Either way, it felt as if the world was lifted off my shoulders and I could breathe normally once again.  I needed a couple of day to adjust back into the “real” world but life was good again.

Sad to say, I go through these steps every single damn time a health/work/relationship catharsis occurs.  I am much stronger and wiser for going through this metamorphic happenstance but I also feel as if I lost at least 10 years of my life enduring this burdensome dilemma. 

It’ll never end, it’s just in my DNA makeup and I just don’t know how to change it.  There’s got to be a way to stop over-thinking.  I just got to find out how.  Now where to start…wait, you’re starting to think too much.