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Midlife Reflections #2

/ markmkane / 5 Comments

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I look back on my life and take stock in what I’ve done and who I’ve become.  The one thing that I take most pride in is my ability to be a good listener.

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I’ve always felt that if a person takes the time to tell you something of importance, then you should respect that and give your undivided attention to what he/she has to say.  I try to listen without judgement and really hear the other person’s words.

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Too many times we’ve had and “A & B” conversation with someone but somehow ended up with “B” starting another conversation with “C & D” who just happened to pass by.  At that point, you kind of feel irrelevant and try to uncomfortably slink away without being noticed.

In my case, I stay there like a complete doofus because of some sort of self-responsibility to finish what was started.  AND when “B” returns back to the original conversation, the whole vibe is gone.

In my mind’s eye, I felt as if I was not important enough to hold your attention when I was unloading my feelings, advice and thoughts.

It is for that reason, in any conversation, that I look the other person in the eye and soak in what they’re telling me even if an outside party acknowledges me.  My focus on the person is steadfast.  This art of listening is something that I’m trying to instill in my children.

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As the days and months go by, life seems to tick away as if it were mere seconds on a clock.  Time is precious.  So when someone needs to talk to you, be there for them…and listen as if they’re the only person left on this planet.

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Forever Strong

/ markmkane / 4 Comments

AA3

We wish good times would last,

that feeling of no tomorrow,

but we know that’s not the case

How does one stay strong

in the midst of the dark

When your life is riddled with

change,

crisis,

death,

tragedy,

pain,

heartache

We try to summon every ounce of

faith,

hope,

love,

courage,

support,

even false bravado

to overcome our trials and tribulations

We will never know how strong we are

until strong is the only choice we have

In the end if we do this, we’ll be

resilient in hard times,

fearless of the unknown,

eternally optimistic,

steadfast in our mind’s eye,

and

forever strong.

Midlife Reflections

/ markmkane / 6 Comments

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Back when I was much younger and starting out in the workforce, I used to think that a good paying job was the endgame to being happy and successful in life.  All that consumed me was trying to work for a company where I could climb that corporate ladder to a six figure salary; I was young, naive and dreamed big.  Little did I know that “all that glitters is not gold”.

I’ve seen people in good paying jobs but miserable as heck.  And I’ve seen the opposite, some in okay paying jobs but loving every minute of it.

Regardless of pay, we need to be happy in our jobs.  Why you may ask?  Since we spend three-quarters of the day at our place of employment, it stands to show that it’s like our second home with our second family.

If we can’t be happy there, then those feelings sometimes get transposed into our home lives.  We may not do that intentionally but it happens.  Life is too short to be miserable and stressed out.

In my current stage in life, I’ve come to the realization that life is meant to be enjoyed to its fullest.  After enduring the trials and tribulations of working many jobs, I only now know that if you’re not happy or enjoying what you do, find something that will.  Better late than never, right?

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This newfound wisdom is something that I impart on my children constantly.  So the next time you’re out job hunting, rather than asking yourself “how much does it pay?”, ponder on whether it’s something that you would “love” or “enjoy” doing for the rest of your life.  If you choose to follow the latter path, the pay will come.  Work for love, not money.

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You’re Grounded! Write Me A Story!

/ markmkane / 5 Comments

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The other day as I was walking through the local mall, I saw a mother unabashedly scolding her son.  He looked like he was about 9 or 10 years of age and completely embarrassed by the staring eyes of the mall’s patrons.

When the mother’s tirade ended, she forcefully grabbed her son’s arm and stormed away.  This scene was reminiscent of my childhood and all I could think of was what was in store for the boy when he gets home.

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I remembered whenever I did something bad, my parents would give me a good scolding and ground me.  “YOU CAN’T GO OUT AND PLAY AND NO TV FOR A WEEK!” is what my mom usually bellowed.  Back in my time, this was painful; I didn’t have the luxuries that the kids have nowadays.

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Being “grounded” meant just staying in my room doing nothing.  At that time there were no such things as cable TV, cellphones or video games.  All that I could do to pass the time away was listen to AM radio stations (because there weren’t any FM at that time).

Now whenever I did something “REALLY” bad, like playing with matches and burning things, I got a healthy dose of spankings.  My mother would get “the belt” and teach me an unforgettable lesson.

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Please don’t think bad of my mom; she’s the most kindest and caring person in the world.  Some of the terrible things I did as a young boy were REALLY BAD…trust me.  Remember, I grew up in a time when this was perfectly acceptable or “PC.”  Your neighbors and even teachers were allowed to do the same if you got way out of line…boy how times have changed.

As I was growing up, I wondered how I would discipline my children if they ever did something bad.  Well, cut to present day…as a parent of two, I decided to go the unconventional route.

When my children were young and did something bad, I made them write me a story and then read it to me and my wife.

“Don’t worry about grammar or spelling, just write me a story” is what I would tell them.

“What do you want us to write about?” my children would reply.

My answer, “Anything!  Just write me a story!”

For some unknown reason, this punishment really stressed them out.  Secretly I think that they would have rather been scolded or grounded.

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For the longest time, they would stare at a blank page and wrack their brains to come up with anything.  Their stories were simple at first but in time, they got to be more and more creative.  Their speaking skills improved as well.

Don’t get me wrong, they still got a good scolding if they did something really bad but I felt that I wanted to try and bring out their creativity at an early age.

This punishment benefitted them during their early school years and were recognized by their teachers whenever we had our annual parent-teacher conference.

Now that my kids are teenagers, this punishment is way too easy for them.  I need to come up with a whole new game plan.  Maybe I’ll make them come up with a dance choreography…yeah, I’ll do that!

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In The End, It’s All Good

/ markmkane / 7 Comments

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I’m always in awe every time I peruse the other blog sites; their writings are eloquent, articulate, beautiful, concise, humorous, lyrical and picturesque.  Even after all these years of writing, I sometimes feel like I’m not in their league.

Because of that, I tend to have a qualm with my writing style; doubts creep in.  Am I too wordy?  Is my writing clear enough to get the message across?  Am I too boring?  Not funny enough?  What are the other readers thinking?

Every time I sit at my computer to write, I always wonder if the words that I choose truly evoke what I’m feeling deep inside.  Because of that, my writing process is hampered.  A3

Often times I get stuck trying to figure out how to convey my thoughts into words.  Do I use simple words?  Are there more elegant ones that would make it sound more thought provoking?  If I use those words will I sound too flowery?  Or will it make me sound like an idiot for not using it the correct way?  A6

The plethora of words wage war and usually the victor emerges after a few minutes.  But even then, I still question as to how I’ll form sentences with it. A2

Writing shouldn’t be this difficult right?  It should be free flowing without any debilitating thoughts.  Or at least that’s how I envision it.  Why do I always go through this?!

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I do admit that I’m getting better at not having these hang-ups but the thoughts are there in my somnolent memory waiting to bust out unexpectedly.

But I’ve concluded that this is what I love to do.  So I just plow ahead, write it down and not fret!  The way I write is who I am and I should accept it.  Other writers don’t care.  We all do this because this is our passion.  We only care if we are inspired, entertained or informed about one another’s writings.

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So in the end, it’s all good.

 

Happy Father’s Day

/ markmkane / 5 Comments

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Father’s Day is once upon us again and I for one always look forward to this day.  Why you may ask?  It’s because I cherish the homemade cards that my children give to me.  Their words of appreciation and love are truly priceless and beats any material gifts that I receive.   a7

Being a father is by far one of the “BEST” jobs that I have.  When I’m not disciplining my children for something bad they may have done, I’m their adult buddy.

That’s my excuse for going to the toy store and perusing shelves of toys to my heart’s content.  It’s my chance to purchase awesome “action figures” (I call them that because calling them “boy” dolls are totally not cool at all).

I also am afforded the opportunities to do things like hip hop dancing, playing video games, being up on the most current social media app, learning how to navigate my phone, all the stuff that kids nowadays do.

Don’t let my “over the hill” appearance fool you; inside this battle-worn body is a goofy kid that’s willing to make a fool of himself as well.  There are even times when my kids join in my tomfoolery; more often than not, my kids are slightly embarrassed at some of the mischievous things I tend to do in public just for a laugh.  My wife often says that she has not two but three kids and the “oldest” one is the most immature.

Aside from all the fun things that I get to do with my kids as a dad, I’m also there to provide guidance and strength in crucial moments in their life.  I’m a father first and my family is my world…my everything.

I try my best to be the best father I can be and I can honestly say that it’s not that hard to do.  I had a good role model in my father; he took a vested interest in my well-being, gave sound advice and made me into the person I am today.  A4My father’s quiet strength, extensive knowledge, vast experiences, quirky sense of humor, gentle kindness and champion against all forms of danger belied his gruff, stern exterior.  No amount of thanks will ever be enough for what he’s done in my life.

Yeah moms are given all the honor and glory that they rightfully deserve but give dads the same as well.  So this Father’s Day, if you’re fortunate enough to still have your father around, spend time with him and cherish it with all of your heart.  If you’re a father, be with your kids and love them for all their worth.  Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there!!!

I Am A Writer

/ markmkane / 3 Comments

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Being a writer, professional or amateur, whether it be in screenplays, novels, short stories, poems, blogs, articles, is one of the greatest feelings to experience.  We proudly claim that title and revel in the pure joy of our creations.  We are the dreamers that have no limits and our imaginations are vastly unique.

We, as writers, follow our heart and passionately tell stories of love, inspiration, hope, despair, sadness, joy and humor; it can come from personal experience or it could be purely fictional.

Our urge to let loose our “inner voice” and send them into the world is quite courageous.  Our vulnerability is on full display.  We subject ourselves to complete and total strangers who will either love it, hate it, criticize it, berate it, praise it, be informed by it or be inspired by it.

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We learn from it, accept it and grow to become even better artists of our craft.  Regardless of the outcome, we persevere.  Writers love what they do; writing nurtures our artistic soul.  It fills a need that non-writers can’t understand.

Writers continue on with their journey because it’s never-ending.  The path will only end when our mind’s well runs dry.  But all my fellow writers know, that’ll never happen.

So to all my fellow colleagues, remember that you are a writer!  Don’t ever forget that only “you” can be the one to tell “your” stories.  You are the masters of your craft; it’s a lifestyle formed from countless hours of blood, sweat and tears with a heavy dose of passion and heart.

Write, write every day.  Follow your heart and always dream big.

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My 2nd Anniversary

/ markmkane / 1 Comment

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I can’t believe it, just had to pinch myself.  It’s officially been 2 years since I started this venture of blogging…didn’t think I’d last a year let alone two.  It somehow feels more like 3 or 4 years but time really has a way of making things seem longer than what they really are.  Nonetheless, I am plugging away and putting myself out there for others to stop by and peruse my musings.

I can honestly say that this truly was a journey, one that I was a bit skeptic at undertaking; it kind of felt like homework to me.  One where I would be critiqued by not one, not two but countless of others who would find aspects of my work unappealing.

I hesitated for a moment thinking “Am I crazy?! I don’t need to deal with this!”  But at my manager’s behest, and her unbridled positive enthusiasm, I decided to “Go for it!”

Even though my blog site is still a work in progress and I haven’t found a niche, I’ve found this venture to be both therapeutic and phenomenal.

I used to be afraid of what people would say about my writing style, my stories, my poems and even my rants and raves.  Just putting myself out there without regard of what negative feedback I may get is somewhat liberating.

It’s as if this blog site was my personal diary; a place where I can let my inner voice run wild.  A place where my ideas and feelings can paint a picture that was somehow hidden deep within my somnolent consciousness.

Every post written, every word chosen enabled me to create my art with unbridled pride and joy.  AND sharing myself…giving some semblance of positivity, inspiration and insight into how I see the world is invigorating.   I’m lucky to be able to do this of my own volition.  I love what I’ve done so far and eagerly look forward to what I come up with on my next post.

Where To Find That Fountain Of Endless Ideas

/ markmkane / 2 Comments

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I know I’ve broached the subject on what to blog or not blog before, but I just can’t seem to let it go.  So please forgive me if I sound like a broken record. 

Being a writer, I’ve always made it a point to write often and consistently; it’s the only way that we as writers get better at our craft.  When I’m writing a screenplay, I just seem to have an endless supply of ideas…a flash flood of thoughts just inundate my brain and there is no barrier to quell it.  But that’s a good problem to have in that instance.

In the case of my blog site though, I tend to hit a road block week after week.  You’d think that after two years of having this site I’d be a pro by now, but that isn’t the case.  I’m one of the unfortunate ones that just doesn’t have a niche.

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I hate to say this but I’m quite envious (more like jealous) of the blog sites that I follow.  They all seem to have found their “voice” and are excelling at making their site exceptionally well thought out.  Their writing is intriguing and holds me emotionally; I actually become invested into what they have to say. 

Day after day, week after week, their vast array of topics are fresh, interesting and sometimes unconventional; it’s like they have an unlimited amount of ideas to choose from at their disposal.  Sigh…I wish that I could be like them…they’re my idols.

For me to come up with a topic on my blog site is somewhat excruciating.  I never really know what I’m going to write until the day before, and even then it’s not the best of topics sometimes.

You might say, “Then why do you have to write something every week?  Why don’t you write once a month?  Or why don’t you write when you have something relevant to say?”

I can answer all those questions in one simple answer – I’m a writer…plain and simple.  I have to write on a consistent basis to get better at my craft.  I’m not the most eloquent, artistic, humorous or intelligent of writers but I love what I do nonetheless.     Idea7

This sense of freedom; getting into a Zen-like state where you pen “heart” to paper and let it loose upon the internet masses. This is what I enjoy the most.

So I guess I’ll never crack this dilemma of the conception for new weekly blog ideas.  Maybe that’s good thing, who knows.  All I know is that I’m still here sitting at my desk…writing…because “I am a writer.”Idea8

Our “Special” Gift

/ markmkane / 9 Comments

I always marvel at the fact that we, as writers, can conjure up practically anything we desire with our writing.  We come up with the most creative stories, the most enticing screenplays, the most eloquent poetry and the most humorous prose.

 No two stories, poems, blog posts or screenplays are alike.  Yes they may have the same idea or premise but the way it is executed on page and presented to the reader is very individualistic.  Our inner voice comes through our choice of words and how we arrange them and the reader is fortunate to choose which voice he or she best relates to.aa8

 We really have a gift if you think about it and we choose to share it with others in hopes of educating them, inspiring them, entertaining them and even provoking critical thought among them.  Our passion has no bounds.

 The world, our experiences, our family, our friends and random conversation overheard is our muse.  We get a spark and it gestates in our subconscious mind until it is ready to flow freely onto our computer screens.

AND some of the stuff that we come up with is totally mind-boggling.  As writers, we choose to ignore the plausible and go with what our inner voice is screaming at us to write.  Just imagine if we put limitations on ourselves and our creativity, you know how boring our concepts would be.

 Every day I thank God that I’m able to write something that at least someone, somewhere would enjoy reading.  I might not be the most creative, eloquent or concise writer but I write how I feel and that’s all that truly matters; I think that this is the common thread that is prevalent among all of my fellow peers.

 Writing is our craft, our voice…and our desire to share it with the world regardless of the outcome is admirable don’t you think. aa4

 When I started as a writer, I came across a poem that really spoke to me.  Unfortunately it was written anonymously and I lost my only copy of it.  But I remembered a portion from that particular poem that I took to heart and I want to share it with all of my fellow writing colleagues – all you screenwriters, poets, bloggers, story tellers:

 “Writing is a gift

given to few,

Don’t ever give it up

or you won’t be you”