Author: markmkane

The Worst Thing About Writing

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WB

Whether it be professional, recreational or therapeutic, being a writer can be the most exhilarating craft of all.  You get to expound your thoughts, ideas, dreams or fantasy onto paper for all the world to see.  You’re essentially the master of your realm; your creativity knows no bounds.  The inner voice inside of you takes over and the words you use to display your soul shines through.  It’s the best thing ever. 

However, the one dreaded thing about writing is when you hit a dry spell.  At some point we run out of ideas or struggle to think of something to talk about.  It can be one of the most frustrating things to experience.  You’d think that as a writer, you’d have a plethora of golden nuggets to pick and choose from.  Sadly, that’s not the case.

We wrack our brains trying to come up with something fresh, something new, the next exciting thing that only you could have dreamt up.  Alas that’s not the case.  We sit and stare at a blank screen; typing a word or sentence that is soon deleted a couple of seconds later.  It either sounded too ridiculous or something that was not quite our true thoughts. 

We look high and low for new inspirations or turn to a friend or family member to be our muse.  Sometimes we hit gold and other times we crap out.  But the greatest thing about getting writer’s block is that, we as writers will continue to search for that next thing that excites us into crafting our thoughts into the words of our soul. 

Writers are an eccentric and eclectic bunch that have a “Never give up” mentality.  That’s why we continue to do what we do.  It’s a love that can never be extinguished.  So the next time you have writer’s block, just remember that there are others out there staring a blank screen just like you.  We are writers, united in thought…united in passion.

WB2

Navigating the Unknown

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The Christmas Conundrum

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Every day I marvel at the fact that I’m truly blessed to have such a wonderful family.  Yeah, we each have our faults, flaws and quirks AND we get on each other’s nerves, but at the end of the day that pales in comparison to the unwavering love and support we have for each other.  Why am I bringing this up you may ask?  At this time every year, I struggle to figure out what to get them for Christmas.  I wrack my brain knowing that I have no clue on where to start.  

So every year, I resort to doing what needs to be done.  The whole process boils down to me being a covert spy.  With a stoic expression, I nonchalantly ask them subtle questions about the things they look at in stores or online; narrowing down their top choices.  Hours pass, days even before I press on.  I ask them more questions without really tipping off my true intent; keenly watching their body language and gauging their emotions.  I take into account every word spoken, making mental checklists about their likes and dislikes.  And that’s usually enough for me to go on and buy their presents.

But there are also times when they don’t say much; even after asking prodding questions.  So in this instance, I resort to using each family member as an asset into retrieving the necessary information I need.  I endear them to my cause and then give them a set of questions to ask a family member.  They can ask however they want as long as they don’t reveal my true intent.  Surprisingly this tactic produces good results as well.

On rare instances when I end up with nothing, rather than buy them something that they won’t like, I’ll just sell out and give them money or gift cards.  I don’t usually like to do this because there is no personal touch but it’s better to give something rather than nothing at all.

The reason why I go through so much trouble is because I feel like I need to get them something really special to show my appreciation for all that they’ve done for me.  A simple hug or words of acknowledgement is usually the norm for most of the year, but at Christmas time, it’s the one time that I can really make them SMILE.  Even though they always say “You don’t really have to get me anything, I’m fine”, I still want to show them my gratitude.  Giving them something that they’ve always wanted really makes me feel good inside.  If I can feel that, then mission accomplished. 

Midlife Reflections #5

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A3

Looking back on everything I’ve done in my life, whether it be good or bad, there are definitely things that I would’ve done very differently.  But I guess that’s how we all would feel if given the power of hindsight.  Some would say that what we did was supposed to happen in order for us to learn a lesson or set us on the right path to where we’re going to end up. 

For someone like me who’s a control freak, especially when it comes to my choice of jobs, it’s truly frustrating when you’ve made a bad choice.  After making that critical decision, whether intentionally, hastily or ill-informed, it feels like an eternity trying to get my life back on track.  Everything seems to be in overdrive just to get back to normalcy; but now every turn, every move I make I second guess myself. 

“I shouldn’t have done this!”

“What the hell was I thinking?!”

“What have I gotten myself into?!”

“Am I going to get out of this jam? And when!?”

All these thoughts run a continuous loop in my head and I beat myself up over making that error in judgement.  We’re all human, but I have high expectations of myself and feel like the whole world just came crashing down on me.  I feel trapped with no option in sight.  

We talk to our family and friends about our predicament to get their advice but it turns into a therapy session where we pour our hearts out in hopes of a quick and easy solution.  We’ve all been there…and we’ll all go there again. 

The one thing that keeps me afloat is the prospect of something better on the horizon.  Yeah, I don’t know how long it’ll take to reach that destination but the idea of finding something better keeps that hope alive.  AND I always hold out for hope!  I always err on the side of positivity.  Why?  Because at my lowest point, that’s all I can do.  It’s much better than the alternative; I can’t just give up.  Throwing in the towel and being resigned to the fact that I failed somehow is not an option. 

There is always a way out of every predicament I put myself in.  Strength and faith is all I need to have to know that it’ll all work out in the end.  Nothing’s impossible to overcome, I just have to be willing to take the first step forward…AND I just did.    

What do you do?

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a2

What do you do

when the carrot that’s been dangling

in front of you

gets ripped away

It’s like a punch to the gut

that just sucks the life out of you

Your whole world turns

upside down

Where do you go from here?

How do you cope?

Your battle worn

mind, body and soul

wants to give up

and throw in the towel

But your heart refuses

It is life!

No matter what,

it knows that you are made of sterner stuff

It pumps hope into your core

The source that keeps you alive

that wills you to move forward

past the disappointment,

and the pain

It becomes a shot of adrenaline

that courses through your very fiber

that makes your determination,

your drive

ten times stronger than it was before

and gives you the resolve

to take on greater things

and gives you a true sense of peace

knowing that you’ll overcome

the next disappointment

with strength and inner confidence

and a heart that can

truly stand the test of time.

a1

Patience…

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time concept, selective focus point, special toned photo f/x

Patience…

is what it takes to the path of

your dreams, your goals

Patience…

is a virtue they say

but to me it’s a test

Patience…

challenges your hopes,

your strength of will,

your endurance to bear

the uncomfortableness  of it all

So that the light at the end of the tunnel

shines big and bright

like the radiant sun

And all the riches of your hopes and dreams

are there for your taking

So relish the moments

that require patience…

for it truly is a valued trait.

AAAA6

When It Feels Scary To Jump…

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While channel surfing couple years ago, I happened upon a channel that featured a 2014 movie called “A Most Violent Year”.  Although I consider myself a movie buff, I’ve never really heard of this movie until that one fateful day.  I won’t tell you what the plot was because I stumbled upon it and really didn’t watch it till the end.  But I did happen upon a scene where a man by the name of Abel Morales said “When it feels scary to jump, that is exactly when you jump, otherwise you end up staying in the same place your whole life.”

This one line totally resonated with me and I just had to write it down.  I turned off the TV and soaked in those words.  I took it to heart and it quickly became etched within my subconscious.  You could almost say that I had an epiphany of some sorts.

This one quote, this one line from a movie I have never seen told me that in life, you need to take chances regardless of the outcome.  There are times when you’ll succeed and there are times when you’ll fail, but you must learn from it in order to grow into the person that you were meant to be.  Life is too short to play is safe, it needs to be explored with eyes wide open.  Life if full of endless possibilities with the potential to be great.

I took this to heart and felt that I needed to try anything even if it took me out of my comfort zone.  I lived by the code of being open to different things; doing so would broaden my horizons both mentally and physically.  Living by this way of thinking helped me to try different things; just facing the impossible or the uncomfortable with complete abandonment.  Living this way made me realize that to do these things require both strength and faith; the will to pursue what your heart desires with the self-confidence to know that you’ll achieve something positive from it regardless of the results.

Ever since then, I’ve been bestowed with nothing but great outcomes.  I dared to take a chance and came out a winner so to speak; I count my blessings everyday for doing so.  So if you are faced with doing something that takes you out of your comfort zone, go all in and bet on yourself.  The first step will be scary, terrifying even…but the end results will be much more rewarding.  Take that leap and dare to be great!