Midlife Reflections

Midlife Reflections #5

/ markmkane / 2 Comments

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Looking back on everything I’ve done in my life, whether it be good or bad, there are definitely things that I would’ve done very differently.  But I guess that’s how we all would feel if given the power of hindsight.  Some would say that what we did was supposed to happen in order for us to learn a lesson or set us on the right path to where we’re going to end up. 

For someone like me who’s a control freak, especially when it comes to my choice of jobs, it’s truly frustrating when you’ve made a bad choice.  After making that critical decision, whether intentionally, hastily or ill-informed, it feels like an eternity trying to get my life back on track.  Everything seems to be in overdrive just to get back to normalcy; but now every turn, every move I make I second guess myself. 

“I shouldn’t have done this!”

“What the hell was I thinking?!”

“What have I gotten myself into?!”

“Am I going to get out of this jam? And when!?”

All these thoughts run a continuous loop in my head and I beat myself up over making that error in judgement.  We’re all human, but I have high expectations of myself and feel like the whole world just came crashing down on me.  I feel trapped with no option in sight.  

We talk to our family and friends about our predicament to get their advice but it turns into a therapy session where we pour our hearts out in hopes of a quick and easy solution.  We’ve all been there…and we’ll all go there again. 

The one thing that keeps me afloat is the prospect of something better on the horizon.  Yeah, I don’t know how long it’ll take to reach that destination but the idea of finding something better keeps that hope alive.  AND I always hold out for hope!  I always err on the side of positivity.  Why?  Because at my lowest point, that’s all I can do.  It’s much better than the alternative; I can’t just give up.  Throwing in the towel and being resigned to the fact that I failed somehow is not an option. 

There is always a way out of every predicament I put myself in.  Strength and faith is all I need to have to know that it’ll all work out in the end.  Nothing’s impossible to overcome, I just have to be willing to take the first step forward…AND I just did.    

What do you do?

/ markmkane / 2 Comments

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What do you do

when the carrot that’s been dangling

in front of you

gets ripped away

It’s like a punch to the gut

that just sucks the life out of you

Your whole world turns

upside down

Where do you go from here?

How do you cope?

Your battle worn

mind, body and soul

wants to give up

and throw in the towel

But your heart refuses

It is life!

No matter what,

it knows that you are made of sterner stuff

It pumps hope into your core

The source that keeps you alive

that wills you to move forward

past the disappointment,

and the pain

It becomes a shot of adrenaline

that courses through your very fiber

that makes your determination,

your drive

ten times stronger than it was before

and gives you the resolve

to take on greater things

and gives you a true sense of peace

knowing that you’ll overcome

the next disappointment

with strength and inner confidence

and a heart that can

truly stand the test of time.

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Patience…

/ markmkane / 2 Comments
time concept, selective focus point, special toned photo f/x

Patience…

is what it takes to the path of

your dreams, your goals

Patience…

is a virtue they say

but to me it’s a test

Patience…

challenges your hopes,

your strength of will,

your endurance to bear

the uncomfortableness  of it all

So that the light at the end of the tunnel

shines big and bright

like the radiant sun

And all the riches of your hopes and dreams

are there for your taking

So relish the moments

that require patience…

for it truly is a valued trait.

AAAA6

When It Feels Scary To Jump…

/ markmkane / 6 Comments

While channel surfing couple years ago, I happened upon a channel that featured a 2014 movie called “A Most Violent Year”.  Although I consider myself a movie buff, I’ve never really heard of this movie until that one fateful day.  I won’t tell you what the plot was because I stumbled upon it and really didn’t watch it till the end.  But I did happen upon a scene where a man by the name of Abel Morales said “When it feels scary to jump, that is exactly when you jump, otherwise you end up staying in the same place your whole life.”

This one line totally resonated with me and I just had to write it down.  I turned off the TV and soaked in those words.  I took it to heart and it quickly became etched within my subconscious.  You could almost say that I had an epiphany of some sorts.

This one quote, this one line from a movie I have never seen told me that in life, you need to take chances regardless of the outcome.  There are times when you’ll succeed and there are times when you’ll fail, but you must learn from it in order to grow into the person that you were meant to be.  Life is too short to play is safe, it needs to be explored with eyes wide open.  Life if full of endless possibilities with the potential to be great.

I took this to heart and felt that I needed to try anything even if it took me out of my comfort zone.  I lived by the code of being open to different things; doing so would broaden my horizons both mentally and physically.  Living by this way of thinking helped me to try different things; just facing the impossible or the uncomfortable with complete abandonment.  Living this way made me realize that to do these things require both strength and faith; the will to pursue what your heart desires with the self-confidence to know that you’ll achieve something positive from it regardless of the results.

Ever since then, I’ve been bestowed with nothing but great outcomes.  I dared to take a chance and came out a winner so to speak; I count my blessings everyday for doing so.  So if you are faced with doing something that takes you out of your comfort zone, go all in and bet on yourself.  The first step will be scary, terrifying even…but the end results will be much more rewarding.  Take that leap and dare to be great!

The End of an Era

/ markmkane / 13 Comments

A1

When all things must come to an end

How do you say goodbye

to the friendships formed through years of…

laughter,

good times,

rough patches,

sorrow,

arguments

The bond that was created was unique,

one that can never be broken

A rapport that can never be extinguished

Is it possible to find that in the unknown?

A place where

you’re new,

vulnerable,

scared

Is there hope in finding

that special connection

with another person again?

One who’ll share

Your smiles,

sadness,

concerns,

fears,

joy,

You can never go back,

you can only cherish that special memory

of a past that you can no longer relive

You can only be grateful,

appreciative,

and carry on

By the grace of God,

with some luck,

you’ll stumble upon a new era

and experience new things

that will resemble the past.

How Do You Let Go

/ markmkane / 6 Comments

A1

How do you let go…

when for so long

your heart was

full of life,

had an abundance of joy,

content in all things

How do you let go…

when you know it’s time

but your heart and mind are

conflicted,

in pain,

lost in a sea of confusion

When it’s scary,

that’s when you jump

When your strength

is fueled by faith

When you take a chance,

see the world with eyes wide open

and dare to be great

That’s when you know…

it’s time to let go.

Midlife Reflections #4

/ markmkane / 11 Comments

A9

How do you deal with change?  Especially the life changing ones.  This has been weighing on my mind the past couple of days.  In the past, when I was much younger, this was never a concern; in fact I enjoyed experiencing change.

As I got older, I got married, had children, found a secure job. I found a daily routine that made my life simple.  I was content with the way things were in my life and for a person that likes control…I was in heaven.

Now all of a sudden, I’m changing jobs. Going from a good paying job to something that is much less but with great benefits.  On top of that, opportunities are presenting themselves to where my passion, my dream, can become a reality.

My younger self would’ve been thrilled with what’s going on.  Welcoming the change, the unpredictability.  But my present self and my current state of mind is a bit hesitant.  Don’t get me wrong, a part of me is really excited but three quarters of me is not.  Fearing the unknown is truly terrifying.

A7

You would’ve thought that through all my years, all of my accumulated experiences would prepare me for this.  But it never does.  The only thing that I’ve learned was that sometimes you got to take a leap of faith into the unknown.

It might work out, it might not.  It’s a chance that I have to take.  I’ve always learn to bet on myself to endure whatever life threw at me.  It’s so cliché to say this, but as long as my family and friends are there for support, advice and guidance, change can be bearable.

A6

It’s a given that change will always happen.  We will always be both excited and scared from it but we should have the confidence in ourselves to know that we’ll get through it.  Possibilities for great things are there if we just take a chance.

A4

The Cycle of Goodness

/ markmkane / 14 Comments

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When you perform a good deed for someone, whether it be family, friend or stranger, their look of expression exhibits gratitude.  Their appreciation for your generosity and kindness in giving of yourself and your time is reciprocated with a smile, a kiss, a hug, a handshake or words of thanks and praise.

And it’s a good feeling; it gives us a sense of self-satisfaction and prideful joy.  Because it feels good, almost intoxicating, we tend to do more good deeds.  As for the recipient of your actions, their positive experience compels them to try and do the same for others.  Spreading the wealth of selflessness…that’s the cycle of goodness.

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It’s the power to connect with people and let them know that there is good in the world and in everyone’s heart.  Seeing all those happy people and their smiles, truly makes one proud.  You can never forget the look on a person’s face when they express sincere gratitude and acknowledgement.

When we share an experience, a positive one at that, we form bonds.  Perpetuating the cycle of goodness, that’s the bond…the synergy of doing something exceptional for someone in a selfless manner.

We can all incorporate this into our daily lives.  A simple act can go a long way for someone in need.  We must never forget the power of the human heart…goodness is the key that can link the hearts of many.

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